man’s/woman’s last stand

I only watched the last quarter or so of the Super Bowl, so I missed the Dodge Charger commercial (and truth be told, I'm not much of a Charger girl anyway – I'd prefer a Shelby). But I saw it on a website tonight and thought the advertising gurus intended it to be funny, but it comes off like the voice of a wimpy passive aggressive husband.

Am I crazy or is putting underwear in the basket a normal thing? Disembodied husband voice acts like he's da bomb.

Then I saw this video, an answer to the Dodge commercial, in a female voice.

For real.

photo study: healthcare bill signed into law

This is not a political blog. There are plenty of political blogs on the interwebs and plenty of fine bloggers who do a fine job of reporting and/or editorializing the beltway as they see fit. Any political commentary you may read on The Kerry Blog is strictly to be taken with a grain of Splenda and is meant as satire only.

That being said, have you seen this f*ckery?

There was a bill signing at the White House today, you may have heard about it.. People took pictures. I saw humor in them.

All of today's photos were stolen from Huffingtonpost.com.

It's always embarrassing when no one meets your high five. Just sad.

Who the hell let Gary Coleman in the White House? Mr. Potter from It's a Wonderful Life is ashamed. Pelosi can't clap with her eyes open. And what's with the blue bracelet? These Washington peeps can't accessorize for shit. Someone get Rachel Zoe or Robert Verdi on the phone. Stat.

Everyone is overjoyed that Gary Coleman will have healthcare at last.

"Settle down, mofos."

"How you fine ladies doin'? Why yes, I am Tiger Woods.

sunday rewind: Split Enz

I was reminded of one of my faves this week by a post about Neil Finn on a friend's Facebook wall and it dawned on my that I haven't featured Split Enz on the '80s Sunday Rewind. My omission is your Sunday treat.

New Zealand's Split Enz is a difficult band to describe, but I'll try. Their 1970s era would best be described as progressive rock (think early Genesis with Peter Gabriel) when Tim Finn when was the front man, then Tim's brother Neil took over front man duties and the band received critical acclaim as a new wave band from 1980 until their break-up in 1984. I'm not a progressive rock girl, so we're going to explore the new wave Neil Finn-led version of the Enz today.

And because Neil Finn is one of the cutest front men ever. You'll remember Neil from Crowded House. Love me some Crowded House, don't you?

The Neil Finn era of the Enz started with the album True Colours and was quite a departure from their previous work. This era of the Enz coincided with the birth of MTV and the two were a perfect pair – let's go to the videos!

"Message to My Girl" from 1984 is my second favorite Enz song, probably because it sounds a good bit like Crowded House.

"I Walk Away" is the last single from the Enz from the album See Ya 'Round – appropriate titles, don't you think? Oh, and you'll see the late Paul Hester from Crowded House on drums (the short-haired drummer).

I hope you enjoyed today's '80s Sunday Rewind. If you have a suggestion for next week, leave it in the comments (if they're working).

out at the moment

It's been that kind of day, youknowwhatImsayin'?

Here you go, guys

This is for the menfolk who I know all want their very own Norwegian curling pants, which I featured on the blog during the Olympics. Don't worry – I found them for sale. I think all the men on my Christmas list are covered this year. You're welcome.

Oh, and while you're on Loudmouthgolf.com – don't forget these beauties.

I can't tell you how disappointed they don't carry plus sizes because I wanted to get the matching skirt, so the hubs and I could be all cute when we play golf together. Yes, there is a matching skirt. No, we don't play golf, but I totally would if I had this skirt.

this might as well be “va-jay-jays and lagniappe”

I've been sitting on this post for two days because people are still asking me about JLove Hewitt's VaJazzling and my Gynecologist office Photo Study is now the #2 post on the blog behind Kerry the Pin-up Girl (which isn't really me, it's an illustration of Hilda, I digress), so I was a little apprehensive about writing about this subject again.

BUT then again, the first rule of writing is write what you know, so….

I just lost my male readers, I know it. Sorry guys.

This blog is becoming THE place to come for all things va-jay-jay. BUT WAIT. I have found what has to be the funniest thing I've ever seen in the history of estrogen. It's Love Your Vagina and it's from some female hygiene product, but who cares, because this site is hilarious. It lets you submit your nickname for your vagina. Yep. And it shows the entries and how many people have submitted the names. Oh, yes it does.

The first thing that struck me about this is that the site is British and the Brits obviously have a different view of the C-word, because the C-word is number one. I can't speak for all American women, but I have talked to three (count 'em – three!) of my friends and we've all agreed that the C-word is derogatory and downright icky. It must not be in other parts of the world, but it is here, and it's a word I can't say out loud and I'm 35 years old. There are a few other words I don't say out loud, but we're not getting into that today.

Let's go to the list! You may want to put the Diet Coke down.

Vagatron
Narnia
Special purpose
Chamber of secrets
George Bush
Enchilada of love
My netherlands
Ms Ginger Bigglesworth
Off limits
Lady gaga
Beverly
Downstairs
The control room
Lady cave
The suburbs
The downtown dining and entertainment district
Anastasia von Beaverhousen (read this in a German accent, it's even better)
The vip lounge

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to put up a velvet rope. And no vip lounge/va-jay-jay talk tomorrow.

#1 reason why I use ups

I like to think the Hershey's Kisses are just for me.

from the emails

I rely on my friends to keep me in the loop on several fronts and often get emails and texts of breaking news, hilarity, and douchebaggery. I'm not sure which of those categories the following falls into, but it's blogworthy.

From Jenn: