I would post what I'm doing for Paper Doily Hearts Day, but I don't want y'all to be jealous of me eating M&M's and watching Hoarders after going to Target for white Russian fixins'.  And I'm not going to tell y'all that my hubs gave me a card and asked if I needed some Biolage conditioner because you internet strangers don't need to know the intimate details of my romantical life. 

Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock. 

And not just because he's played by Alec Baldwin. Jack is my favorite because he's so Jack. 

 

I can't possibly choose just one favorite childhood show. You see, I was a child in the 70s and 80s, the aluminum age of television. 

One of my favorite shows from childhood is The Dukes of Hazzard. I had the metal lunch box WITH thermos. One of my first crushes was on John Schneider, which is weird because he's blond. My dad and I watched this show together, which makes sense because dad's family is pretty much like Uncle Jesse (my dad has an Uncle Jesse) and the other random Duke relatives that would show up. My dad also has an Uncle Jr. I don't know Jr.'s first name. One of dad's cousins killed a man in a bar with a pool cue. True story. Oh, the redneck tales I could tell. I think Jr. won a boat in a fishing tournament last year. He's also a national horseshoe champion. You can't make this stuff up. Back to the Dukes – one of my favorite memories is from my teens when OUT OF NOWHERE my dad told me the Waylon Jennings (country music singer and singer of the Dukes theme song for those of you who aren't in the know) was illiterate before he started narrating The Dukes of Hazard. I love America. For no reason, here are Dave Chappelle, Questlove, and John Mayer and the theme song from The Dukes of Hazzard. 

 

 

My favorite cartoon was Super Friends. Hell yeah. The Super Friends were Wonder Woman, Superman, Batman, Robin, Aquaman, Wonderdog, and two random kids. I'm talking about the original Super Friends, not the one with the Wonder Twins. The Wonder Twins were lame. The best thing about Super Friends were the villians. From the first episode, here is the Legion of Doom evil villian roll call. 

 

 

And the best of all my childhood shows was Jem and the Holograms. Now this was a show. The main character was Jerrica, who becomes her alter-ego Jem with the aid of holograms. Jem has a band. She also has pink hair. Because it was awesome, Jem's band had a rival band, The Misfits. The Misfits were led by singer Pizzazz. The Misfits had a keytar player because it was the 80s and of course they did. Oh, and there was a love triangle between Jem, Jerrica, and boyfriend Rio. Yes, Jem and Jerrica were the same person. Complicated plot for a preteen girl cartoon? Yes. Did everyone in the show look like they were in the group Poison? Yes. Here's the theme song.

 

Is it any wonder that I loved this show?

House, M.D.

I love a medical drama. I really don't know why because I'm not remotely a medical person. Anyway, for some reason I love medical dramas and have since the days of St. Elsewhere. I watched ER from the first show 'til the very last. I stopped watching House this year because the same thing happens every week. 

In case you've never seen House, let me spoil it for you. Every single episode of House follows this format:

1. We see someone who looks healthy, suddenly the person is unconscious, is paralyzed, or develops a bizarre symptom and is brought to the hospital.

2. We see House/House's team and they get the case.

3. Every test on the planet is given to the patient.

4. The team thinks it's 42 brazillion different diseases except Lupus.

5. Throw in some personal details of one of the main characters.

6. The patient is totally going to die.

7. In the last five minutes, House is talking to someone, then because of something they said – completely unrelated to the case – he realizes the patient has (fill in the blank) disease.

8. Patient gets treatment and lives.

 

How on earth did I watch for eight seasons? I think it's eight. Whatever. And that's just for starters. I'm not going to get into House firing his team, the team quitting, House trying to get the team back, the team coming back, and so on. It reminds me of the Kids in the Hall sketch where the women in the French hotel are thinking about Tony, wondering where he is, where he could be, what he is thinking, if he is thinking of them, and if he will ever return someday. 

Here is my favorite "it's not lupus" moment.

 

 

 

Swamp People.

This is a show I discovered when I was sick and watched a marathon on a Sunday for probably eight hours. Now, it's odd that I would even give this show a chance because 1) it's set in the swamp, 2) I don't like being outside, much less in a swamp, 3) most of the people on the show have to have subtitles. 

I'm from Shreveport, Louisiana and now reside in south Louisiana. I love my home state, but it's really like two different states. The south is like a whole 'nother country. People hunt in north LA, but not alligators. I acknowledge that I'm a fish out of water here when I hear the husband's family talking about frog gigging, turkey hunting, and bow fishing. It's weird. People on Facebook post pictures of their children and the deer they've killed. I don't know if I'll ever get used to that. 

Back to Swamp People. So, the first time I watched this show, the hubs was home and watched part of it with me before he had to go out of town. After he left, I got in bed and watched eight hours of Swamp People. The hubs called to check on me and I had to tell I'd call him back because Bruce's dog fell out of the boat. 

This is Bruce and his dog, Tyler. Tyler likes Little Debbie Zebra Cakes.

 

There are many best scenes ever. I picked my favorite scene from 30 Rock when my Alec Baldwin impersonates Tracy Morgan's whole family. I love 30 Rock. 

 

"thank you for showing me there is love in my family and I need to stay the hell away from them" is my new life motto.

OMG Hoarders. 

Like I really had to tell y'all my favorite reality show is Hoarders. It's not a competition, no one is giving out roses, no one is joining alliances and saying "I'm not here to make friends." It's straight up mental illness on display and it makes me feel less crazy. I know I'm horrible. 

This is a typical preview of an episode of Hoarders. A brazillion cats. 

 

There is nothing superfantastic on tv tonight, so I'm going to watch Midnight in Paris, but in case you don't have that movie and you need something to watch, here's the trailer to Disco Godfather, which is the best movie about a former cop turned disco dj who busts pcp dealers you will ever see. 

 

It really is the best in the Godfather trilogy.