I saw this video on The Daily What today and it brought back the childhood  memories of my neighborhood (emphasis on "hood") ice cream man. 

 

Okay, I've told y'all how much I loved Twin Peaks. This isn't a "worst episode" or "least fave episode" post, it's more like "the thing that creeped me out that was in half the damn episodes." 

OWLS. I hate owls. I think I started hating owls with the original Clash of the Titans, plus the metal owl and wood wall hangings in my Aunt Joyce's house when I was a kid. Owls are scary. There was a running owl theme in Twin Peaks. An owl appears midway throught the series. The owls watch people. It's freaky. Then someone got a message that said "the owls are not what they seem." Oh yeah, just what I've been saying all along. 

While playing one of my Words With Friends games, this ad came up. Would this person in a fur hat make you want to go to this flirting site? No. Not that I would if it were Alec Baldwin. I might, but I’m just saying.

This one is hard because I don't watch shows I think I would hate. Generally, I hate shows with vampires, ghosts, reality shows where people are ghost hunting, shows with Jersey in the title, oh – NCIS (I have lots of hate for that), and Cupcake Wars. Those are all bad. No video clips because ew gross.

Challenge, why must you make me choose? 

I'm breaking this up into two different categories. Comedy and drama. I'm going to give you clip of the drama. I'm saving my favorite clip of the comedy for another day. 

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Twin Peaks. Twin Peaks was a bizarre show from the early 90s that not many people I knew watched – my bff and I would watch it while on the phone. It was that kind of show. You needed someone to watch it with and to say, "did you just see that?!"  I loved the quirky weirdness and wacky characters. I liked the music and style of the show. The log lady. The coffee and pie. And Sherilyn Fenn's outfits. 

Here's a clip with David Lynch.

 

And here's a gorgeous haunting song from the show by Julee Cruise.

 

 

I did a Google Image Search for short curly hairstyles.

This will certainly clear things up.

 

Because this blog is nothing if not a window into the classroom of interwebs knowledge, I give you pronounciation guides for hard to pronounce words (found on You Tube).

Worcestershire has always been tricky.

 

This one is handy for talking to the kids today.

 

and my favorite:

 

I'm seriously thinking about making "Jake Gyllenhaal" my voicemail greeting.

That's right. Quirky Tales, Vodka Cranberry Clooney, and this here blog are celebrating black history month by doing the 29 day television challenge because it's freakin' leap year.*

The days are as follows.

Day 01 – A show that should have never been canceled
Day 02 – A show that you wish more people were watching
Day 03 – Your favorite new show (aired this season)
Day 04 – Your favorite show ever
Day 05 – A show you hate
Day 06 – Favorite episode of your favorite television show
Day 07 – Least favorite episode of your favorite television show
Day 08 – Favorite reality show
Day 09 – Best scene ever
Day 10 – A show you thought you wouldn’t like but ended up loving
Day 11 – A show that disappointed you
Day 12 – Favorite childhood show
Day 13 – Favorite male character
Day 14 – Favorite female character
Day 15 – Your guilty pleasure show
Day 16 – Favorite mini series
Day 17 – Favorite title sequence
Day 18 – Best television show cast
Day 19 – Favorite kiss
Day 20 – Favorite relationship
Day 21 – Favorite series finale
Day 22 – Most annoying character
Day 23 – Best quote
Day 24 – A show you plan on watching (old or new)
Day 25 – OMG WTF? season finale
Day 26 – Best pilot episode
Day 27 – First television show obsession
Day 28 – Current television show obsession
Day 29 – Saddest character death

*okay, so it's not to celebrate black history month. It's also: American Heart Month, Wedding Month, Back For Family Fun Week, International Boost Self-Esteem Month, International Expect Success Month, National Bird Feeding Month, National Caffeine Addiction Awareness Month, National Cherry Month, National Children's Dental Health Month,  National Hot Breakfast Month, National Single and Searching Month, Plant the Seeds of Greatness Month, Publicity for Profit Month, Potato Lover's Month, Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket Month, Spiritual Teachers Month, and Wise Health Care Consumer Month.

 

Today has been weird. Not that yesterday wasn't weird, but today was even more so.

I really need a nap. I had a hard time sleeping last night, despite taking Ambien and anxiety drugs. I dreamed that I was at a Walmart with a lot of celebrities and a few of my friends. I was wearing something with one shoulder that I would never wear in real life and I was talking to Matthew Broderick, which would totally happen in real life. Also, I haven't been to a Walmart in several years.

My obsession with Hoarders is probably overboard when I'm talking about it with a friend at lunch and a complete stranger chimes in from another table and asks if we're talking about Hoarders. She then asked if we watch Extreme Couponing and my friend actually said "no, the people on that show are crazy."

Do you ever get the feeling that the fortune cookie fortune writers aren't even trying?

My Target lady told me today that she was going to wait until I put everything from my cart onto the conveyor belt before she started ringing me up because she wanted to see I was getting. She said "I know how you do." This is the same lady that said "it can't be that bad" when bought a bottle of Kaluha and a softball bat.

When family members on Hoarders say "it can't get worse than this" when they see the first room, you know it's going to be 10 times worse when they go into the bathroom or kitchen.

Ben Folds Five is releasing a new album this spring. Do you know how excited I am? 

I'm watching an Oprah interview with George Lucas and his girlfriend. The girlfriend told O that she had to teach George all the things about being black and now he's an expert in black. Then he waved one finger at the camera and said he learned how to be a black mother. I'm not making this up. I promise. I swear.

Raise your hand if you knew George Lucas was dating a black woman. Shut up – you did not.

I went to the bowling alley today to put a deposit down for the 11 year old's birthday. There was a sign on the door that said "proper dress required." Thank goodess I have a bowling shirt. I really do. I think I need a glove. You should know that I practically grew up in a bowling alley. My mom and grandmother were on leagues and I went to the bowling alley with them as often as possible. The bowling alley is where I mastered my Centipede game and ate grilled cheese sandwiches. I was on a first name basis with the concession people. The bowling alley in my town has an adjacent day care center and an urgent care office across the parking lot. I love America.

My mouth tastes like cilantro.

Did you hear Snoop Dogg has endorsed Ron Paul? I love America. He tweeted a picture of Ron Paul with the caption "smoke weed everyday." You can't make this stuff up, people.

Would it be wrong to have M&Ms for dinner tonight? They're peanut, so – yay! protein.

My dad called War Horse "Horse Wars," then called it "Horse Whores" before saying it correctly. For the record, "Horse Whores" would be a terrible movie and possibly illegal, definitely insane. My dad also said he would not install ceiling fans in his girlfriend's house because he is not bonded and insured.

I bought a new nail polish and painted my nails this afternoon. Seven hours later it still smells wet. How am I going to sleep smelling that?

Tomorrow starts a new month and a new blog series. Cue the applause.