tunes you need Tuesday: ‘hard candy’ edition

I've written about my Counting Crows before and y'all know how I love them.  Maybe it's because I discovered them when I needed something, maybe it's because Adam Duritz can write a lyric that gets me, maybe it's because they're underrated and who doesn't love a band who does their own thing despite the what the critics say? 

200px-CountingCrowsHardCandy Here's what I do know: Hard Candy was released in June of 2002, just before we moved to Canada and for some reason it rose to the top of my music collection and was decidedly my soundtrack for a good year.  It's a summer album, I think.  And since we're closing out summer, it's a good choice for Tunes Tuesday.  It's good stuff. 

It featured the hidden track, "Big Yellow Taxi," a Joni Mitchell cover, as well as several other songs I immediately loved.  "Frankie Miller Goes to Hollywood (Up All Night)" is one I have to play several times when it comes up on the iPod and "If I Could Give All My Love to you or Richard Manuel is Dead" is awesome. 

The album still rocks.  Go get you some Hard Candy.

Here are a few of my fave tracks.  The title track, "Hard Candy" has a great line "she is something all together different, never just an ordinary girl"  — because who would want to be an ordinary girl?  And "you put your girl up on a pedestal and you wait for her to fall" is pretty damn telling, just listen.

"Miami" is just a plain good.   You need to hear it, baby, then we'll shut it down in New Orleans. 

Next up is "Why Should You Come When I Call,"  a song I've identified with on occasion.  It's a sweet song of love and codependency. Really.

And my favorite, "Frankie Miller Goes to Hollywood (Up All Night)" is last but not least.  It's a fantastic song to drive to, sing to, dance in the kitchen to.  What? like you've never danced in your kitchen.  It's a good insomniac song (which you know I am), a good song about wanting to get high (but it's too late), and a good song for a Tuesday.  Enjoy your Tuesday. 

80’s Sunday rewind: Morris Day and The Time

People, there are lots of bands I like for many reasons and then there is Morris Day and The Time. 

Morris Day and The Time are the jam.  If you need an education on The Time, you’re in luck today, peeps.  And when you’ve finished with today’s post, do yourself a favor and watch Purple Rain.  If you’re the ONE PERSON in America who hasn’t seen Purple Rain — rent it.  Don’t make me call you out on my widely-read blog, friend.  I digress, Morris Day and The Time were not simply Prince’s funk pet project, they were (and are) a fabulous band.

The first video is “The Bird.”  I fully admit  that “this dance ain’t for everybody, just the sexy people” is something I say at least once a week.      

Now, you’ll have to cover your virgin ears for part of this clip, but it’s too awesome to leave out.

And if you have virgin ears, it’s best you skip this clip — my favorite from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.  Don’t you ever say a bad word about the greatest band in the world, Morris Day and The Mothereffin’ Time!

a Friday night with Kerry

So, it's Friday night.  Although I've never been the party girl, I never thought a Friday night would become quite this anticlimactic. 

I've just dyed my hair orange. 

Orange was not the color I was going for, in fact, Light Auburn is the shade on the box.  But it might as well be called Orange.  Don't believe me?  Let's go to the evidence.

IMG000400 Oh, yeah, I dyed my eyebrows too, because I want to look like the Carrot Top version of Groucho Marx. 

This is all kinds of sexy, wouldn't you agree?  Not so much, I know.  The houseboys aren't exactly lining up outside the door. 

As the color began to to darken on top of my head and I checked the mirror, a song popped into my head. 

Can you guess which one?

"They call me Heat Miser…"

News_heatmiser

It's the one and only Heat Miser from 1974's "The Year Without a Santa Claus."  

The Heat Miser and I have one thing in common.  Okay two.  1) flame-colored hair and 2) similar body shapes. 

Besides that we're total opposites.  He likes it hot; I like cool temperatures.  He hates Santa; I love Christmas.  He can melt objects with his bare hands; I melt in the heat and humidity.  He sings Ragtime; I sing everything on my iPod, no Ragtime.  He has a much-hated step-brother, the Snow Miser; I have a sister in Texas, where it has snowed before .  His mom is Mother Nature herself; my mother has enjoyed the Animal Planet.   He clearly has no fashion sense; I'm me.  He has minions which are miniature versions of himself;  I'm not allowed to speak about that until after the trial is over. 

Just before I rinsed my hair, I checked the mirror again and another image came to me.  

Syndrome Syndrome from The Incredibles. 

Either I need to go back to the salon for professional coloring or I need to stop watching animated television and movies. 

This is just sad.

I just had the strangest epiphany.

If the Heat Miser and I had a child it would be Syndrome. 

Look at him.  Seriously. 

live blogging the Project Runway premier

Just decided to live blog. 

9:03 — girl just said she doesn't design "plus size," she calls it "plus sexy!"  HELL YEAH!

9:05 — South Carolina girl just said "if you were a woodland fairy you would wear one of my dresses."  Um, okay.

9:06 — it's so good to see Tim and Heidi again! 

9:07 — I like this Louis Black chick from Dallas.  Blond girl Althea Harper is young.  I like the cute dark-haired boy.  Can't remember his name.  Champagne for everyone!

9:09 — they're on the red carpet at the Emmy's.  Cool.  They're creating a red carpet look that represents their point of view for the first challenge.  Go designers!

9:10 — it's a 2 day challenge.  I love my Tim Gunn.  Christopher Straub is my dark-haired boy.  I like his sketches.  Ari Fish is the funky chick for this season and she doesn't sketch.  WTF.  Somewhere Robert Best is rolling his eyes.

9:12 — it's shopping at MOOD! 

9:13 — Ra'mon (with the comma to the top) just almost cried talking about design.  Oh dear.  Okay,  I have 2 fave boy designers already — Michael Hall and Christopher.  Johnny is a recovering meth addict.  I think he's going to drop out, y'all.  Oh, he's crying.

9:15 — commercial.  Had to check Facebook.  Y'all, I hope this is a good PR season.  I just can't take bland after a Runway-less spring and summer.  I want to hear Nina Garcia say "it's just aesthetically not pleasing!" and Michael Kors say "I feel like the pope at a strip club!"  The Runway quotes are my fave.  I only wish there were more occasions to say "that crotch is insane!"

9:19 — that was a long ass commercial.  Johnny is talking to Tim.  Tim is concerned.  Johnny feels emotionally obliterated.  Honey, I've been that way every day this week and I'm not a recovering meth addict.  I SO need a Tim Gunn in my life.  Okay, I kinda have one, but that's another post I'll never write.

9:21 — my boy Christopher has never heard of smocking.  Poor Christopher.  OH DEAR.  Tim said if his dress isn't styled correctly it could go "cruise line cocktail waitress."

9:23 — I do not get Michael? Mitchell's dress.  Victorian — eh.

9:24 — here come the skinny models!

9:25 — Michael/Mitchell's dress is the wrong size for his model.  The plus sexy designer's name is Qristal.  For realz.  I'm changing my name. 

9:25 — commercial.  Okay, I'm armed with iced tea for the rest of the show.  I can't believe it's half over!  I don't know about some of the designers.  What was the Zooey Deschanel cotton commercial about?  Say what?

9:30 — the commercials are WAY too long.  Michael/Mitchell only has pantyhose-type fabric left to work with.  Oh dear.  His model looks nekkid.  Not good.  Nina will say it's vulgar. 

9:32 — Poor little Mitchell.  I think that's his name.  Another commercial!  I can't take it!

9:34 — Okay, I'm refusing to see this "all about Steve" movie 'cause it looks stupid and I hate that "I'm Gonna Write You a Love Song" song.  Write the damn song already, don't sing about how you're going to write the song — that's not a song!  Sing the love song, not the song about writing the song — would you read a book about the author writing about the book he wants to write?  No.  Stupid.

9:37 — At least the commercial was shorter.  Guest judge is Lindsay "Firecrotch" Lohan.  She only wears leggings — is she the only guest judge they could find?

9:39 — This guy/girl, Malvin just said "every creator feels a little blah blah blah" and sounded like Frankenstein describing his monster.

9:40 — Eh.  The dresses are okay.  Ari Fish's dress is pretty horrid.  And by dress, I mean shiny silver mess.

9:43 — Qristal says Miley Cyrus would wear her dress.  Mmmkay.  Heidi says the front of the dress is a mess.  So agree.  Christopher may win!  Love that he took the hat off for the runway, hate that he has his sunglasses hanging off his shirt.  Ra'mon's dress is pretty safe.  Ari's dress is the VMA's in 2080 and it's also the dress to pick up her Nobel Peace Prize.  Mmmkay again.  Kors says it looks like a disco soccer ball.  My thoughts exactly.  It's bad.  Johnny says his dress is very liquidy.  I hate it.  The judges like it.  WHY?  It looks like a red garbage bag.  Mitchell's dress is unwearable, Nina says.  Kors says it's a kinda cool nightgown with a glass of brandy.  I can't disagree. 

9:49 — The judges deliberation — why the hell do they like Johnny's dress?  It must look way better in person.  They really like my boy Christopher's.  I really don't know who they're sending home.  So much bad.  Ari's dress had hotpants underneath. 

9:51 — I hate commercials.  Okay, so I'm thinking Ari may be auf'ed and Christopher wins. 

9:55 — This season there's a show with the models on after Runway.  I think not.

9:56 — ANNNND — Christopher wins!  Good for him.  And his blazer has a coursage.  How cute is that.  he needs to lose the sideways hat in the interview.  It's down to Mitchell and Ari.  Who's auf?  Ari is out.  Poor Ari.  I think she was a little out there for Runway.  

9:59 — Previews!  Next week they will design for a real celebrity.  It's LA, it better not be a chick from The Hills or something.  Ugh. 

and I’m headlining

Engrish-funny-summer-festival

Okay, I'm not headlining, but it's not because I wasn't asked. 

This photo just goes along with my mood as of late.  I won't depress you with the story — just know this: I hate my uterus, there are few people I feel that I can depend on, and I may tear my hair out.  The good news is: I look amazing in wigs.

80’s Sunday Rewind: wouldn’t it be good edition

It's a short 80's Sunday Rewind today, alas there is much to be done for ScrapFest! 

I've had "Wouldn't it be Good" by Nik Kershaw in my head for a couple of days.  It's one of my all-time favorites; the Danny Hitton Hitters cover is on the Pretty in Pink Soundtrack, but Kershaw's original is the best.  The theme of the song, as Kershaw puts it is a common one and well put:

Wouldn't it be good to be in your shoes even if it was for just one day:
And wouldn't it be good if we could wish ourselves away.
Wouldn't it be good to be on your side

The grass in always greener over there.
Wouldn't it be good if we could live without a care

be free to be you

446374685_d2f0334208   


Be free to be you while on your period. 

Thank baby Jesus I've never felt the need to be a Pierrot.  

Yes, it's that time.  No, not in all 24 years of my menstruating life have I felt like being a freaking French clown.  Well, there was that once, but it's not not like there were any witnesses and even if there were, y'all don't speak French anyway, so guess the joke's on you.   Ha.  And why'd you have to bring it up anyway? 

Do you have any chocolate?


various and sundry half-awake thoughts for your Thursday

Not surprisingly, I’ve been up to my ears in ScrapFest! stuff: tickets, workshops, mug design, something special we’re keeping secret design, and I’m starting t-shirt design this afternoon.  I’ve been burning the candle at both ends, as they say.  And I’m either half-awake or half-asleep right now as we wait for the school bus this morning.  I’m afraid it’s looking like posts will be sketchy (or maybe just random photos) until ScrapFest! because I’m busier than usual.  This is just plain wrong.  And so, I thought I’d write some various and sundry thoughts while I have a little downtime this morning.

  • Last week in Shreveport, I found myself in a hotel elevator with strangers who were debating what floor they were staying on.  For a moment when the doors opened, I thought about saying aloud “third floor: men’s haberdashery, millinery, furs, and fine jewelry.”  
  • Also, back in my hometown, I was introduced to my great uncle’s brother, Kerry.  I was then told his name was the inspiration for the spelling of my name (that NO ONE ever spells correctly).
  • While making room on my messy desk for my new iMac, I discover 4 cards for friends that I bought and misplaced.  I do this a lot.
  • Matthew Sweet is phenomenal.  
  • Over the past week, starting in S’port, I’ve watched the entire 3rd season of 30 Rock and have laughed out loud during each eppie and can’t stop quoting Tina Fey’s “I want to go to there” statement.  Funny stuff.
  • Today Megs says to Bethy and me that she thought her iPhone screen was broken when she turned it on and saw the “crack in the apple.”  I told her that was the logo.  

I’m leaving you with some of my favorite scenes from 30 Rock, because I bet you need a laugh as much as I do. 

I think you’ll all agree that “I love this cornbread so much, I want to take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant” is pretty much the funniest thing ever said. I thought so.