blame it on the rain, yeah yeah

It's raining here and flooding in Georgia, a state I love.  It's raining everywhere.  I've been in a crappy mood all week and I blame it on the rain.  You know what that means.  Yep, time for an 80's raindance party!  Put on your gold lame raincoat and get your groove on, baby.

Let's let the original kings of lip synching kick it off. 

That's right. Whatever you do, don't put the blame on you.  That rain can't be good for the instruments they weren't actually using.

And this is the song that's been in my head all week.

Is it just me or does Dave Stewart look like a creepy stalker in the video? That's right, I said it — creepy stalker.

Prince would kick my ass if I didn't include him in the dance party and the last thing I need is Prince on my case. It's a slow jam, you know, 'cause Prince likes it that way.  And if you want to send out any long-distance dedications, now is the time.

http://www.myvideo.de/movie/1252470

Damn, that's a long video.

I think we can all agree we need to break up the melancholy mood with a little up-tempo number. And I think we all know what that means — the dragtastic "It's Raining Men."

So, that's the rain post. Stay tuned for the "Here Comes The Sun" post , that is, if the sun ever comes out for more than half the day.

no tunes this Tuesday

It's not that I don't love y'all, but it's been a disjointed kind of day of rain, thus no Tunes Tuesday, but instead a disjointed post, a little stream of consciousness. 

I don't like the color gold.  Unless it's gold lame, in that case it's fantastic.  I would really like a gold lame raincoat for some reason.

My hair didn't dry right today and now it's weird and wiry looking.  I blame it on the rain.

Why did it start to storm just as the kids were getting off the bus?

Facebook has been buggy lately and it has really pissed me off.

I applaud the individual who took it upon himself to correct the grammar of one of the construction signs on Hwy 21.  Bravo, sir.  You are my grammar hero.

I am convinced one of my friends has a form of ESP.  It's not a terribly helpful type of ESP, but still kind of cool.

The waist measurement should be the same in a particular size of Lane Bryant jeans, no matter if they are boot cut, wide leg, straight leg, or low rise.  It makes absolutely no sense that the jeans are the same size and the waist measurement is so different that they will not button.  Damn you Right Fit jeans!  

I had a little deja vu earlier today.  It was interesting. 

Someone called me recently with what they said was good news.  Good news is relative.

The interwebs is a magical thing.  Frustrating and annoying, but magical.

I'm half-heartedly trying to get out of something next month.  I am employing the tactic of embarrassment to convince my hubs he does not want me to go to his 20th high school reunion.  I hate events with a passion.  Most of my friends think I'm an extrovert, but they are wrong.  I have told him if I go I will spend the entire evening bombarding a classmate of his with questions about her title as Mrs. STATE I LIVE IN because it's my new goal in life to become the 2010 Mrs. WHAT SHE WAS A FEW YEARS AGO.  I need a sash and crown.  And a scepter — I really need one of those.

The new House was really good last night.

The newly remastered Beatles albums are the bomb.

The hubs and I went to a brew pub on the lakefront Saturday night to watch the LSU game.  There was a woman there with breast implants so large that the LSU graphic on her tiny t-shirt looked like it was being tortured.  The S was so misshapen, it looked like a Escher drawing of a slide.

Real Coke is delicious.

Shopping for mattresses is a bizarre experience.  You're supposed to lay on them as you would at home to test it out, but I don't think you're supposed to take your shoes off or anything.  And like I'm going to lay there with the salesguy watching me.  I'm going to go to his house and watch him sleep, then ask how he likes his mattress, all smug and snarky.

We went to Chevy's for lunch Sunday and all I could think about was how much our waiter looked like The Rock.  I kept waiting for him to do that eyebrow thing, so I'd know if it were really The Rock and he was maybe doing some undercover work or something, but he never did. 

Our garage currently smells like ant killer.

The hubs touched his goatee so many times Saturday that I told him I would get him a hamster, because he obviously has some sort of tactile issue.  

I'm not really going to buy a hamster.  I'd be the one to take care of it and we all know I'm not in the mood.

But I do want a cocker spaniel.  I would name it Sadie.

I still love The Psychedelic Furs.

I forgot to eat lunch.

I'm downloading fonts from the interwebs for the new computer.  No one needed design a font with letters made of penis drawings.

Stop thinking of penises.

80’s Sunday Rewind: the you’re so vain, I bet you think this post is about you edition

Who wants to bet Typepad puts a limit on characters allotted for post titles after this one?  

 I'm almost positive those of you who have been read the 80's Sunday Rewind for a while wouldn't take me for a closet Carly Simon fan, but then again, I'm full of surprises aren't I?  There are a few Carly Simon songs that when I hear them stay with me for days, and it's one of those days.  Not a bad day, but a sad day.  We all have them, I'm no different from any of you.  

The first song up is "Coming Around Again," which fits my life right now.  Why?  Let's go to the lyrics, shall we?

Baby sneezes
Mommy pleases
Daddy breezes in

So good on paper
So romantic
But so bewildering

I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing to play the game
It's coming around again

So don't mind if I fall apart
There's more room in a broken heart

You pay the grocer
You fix the toaster
You kiss the host goodbye

Then you break a window
Burn the souffle
Scream a lullaby

I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing to play the game
It's coming around again

So don't mind if I fall apart
There's more room in a broken heart

And I believe in love
But what else can I do?
I'm so in love with you

I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing to play the game
It will be coming around again


Apologies for the shitty video quality, but this is the only complete version of the video I could find.

So, that's the sad song for today.  It fits.  If you know me personally, you know.  If not, just know everything's okay, just having a breaking windows, burning souffles, and screaming lullabies kind of day/week/month/year — whatever.  That should suffice.  

The next song is "Let The River Run," which is from the movie Working Girl, an 80's classic starring Melanie Griffith (pre-lip injections), Sigourney Weaver, Harrison Ford, and Joan Cusack.  This song is one of my favorites for some reason.  It's hopeful.  And this video has enough 80's fashion and hair for all of us and don't blame me if you see it and run out and buy frosted eyeshadow and jackets with shoulder pads — blame Carly.   Oh, and am I crazy or is there something cool about a guitar solo by a guy in a trench and fedora on a ferry?  Just me?  Shut up.

the Swayze post

As I said many times to friends on Facebook last night, damn you, 2009, for taking another of our pop culture icons away.  I don't know how much more we can take.

Natasha Richardson, Ed McMahon, Farrah Faucet, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, Ted Kennedy, Walter Cronkite, John Hughes, and now Patrick Swayze.  It's the year of celebrity deaths.

The first time I remember seeing Swayze was in The Outsiders, as Ponyboy Curtis' older brother.  The Outsiders was the breakout movie for practically every up and coming male actor of the 80's (PLUS Tom Waits) and come on — Tom Cruise playing a greaser?  shut up.  

Then Red Dawn with Jennifer Grey in 1984, which was clearly foreshadowing of Dirty Dancing.

Enter Johnny Castle.

That's right, nobody puts Baby in a corner.  And don't you forget it.  I don't know a girl who grew up in the 80's who didn't watch this at a slumber party and commit practically every line to memory.  It's not even one of my favorite movies and I know just about every line.  Aside from John Hughes movies, this film is one of the most quotable 80's movies ever:

This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don't go into yours, you don't go into mine. 

Oh, come on, ladies. God wouldn't have given you maracas if He didn't want you to shake 'em.

But, last week, I took a girl from Jamie, the lifeguard. And he said to her, right in front of me, "What does he have that I don't have?" And she said, "Two hotels." 

I carried a watermelon.

Who hasn't carried a watermelon?  That's the proverbial watermelon.  That's when you have your chance to say something brilliant to someone you admire and instead, when they say "what are you doing here?" you say "I carried a watermelon" or something equally ridiculous, which leaves you feeling like a fool.  I have done this approximately 400,000 times in my life thus far and can only imagine it will happen again any day now.  Back in the day, there were a few Johnny Castles in my life and I proved that I was much more eloquent on paper than in person more than I'd like to remember.  Once, a teacher asked me to bring my crush's varsity jacket that he had left in her classroom to him, so I walked up to him at that afternoon's pep rally, jacket in hand.  He says "we have to stop meeting like this" (I know, how cute is that?) and I say "this is your jacket."  Well, it did have his name on it and I was queen of the obvious.  He looked down at me from over his glasses, said "thanks" and turned back to his friends.  And I wondered why he never asked me out.  

Back to Swayze.  So, we had Dirty Dancing, then Road House, then there was this:

http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/k2QgiIqdampnr45VmV&related=1

A Difficult Choice – Watch more Videos at Vodpod.


And that's just plain awesome.  

And Ghost, which for the one person reading this blog who hasn't seen the film, is about pottery.  Oh, and dead people.

Point Break is one of the best movies in the history of ever.  If you didn't like this movie you may have an undiagnosed mental illness.  Seriously.  Point Break has sky diving, FBI dudes, bank robbery, surfing, Gary Busey — what's not to love?

I couldn't pick a favorite part of the movie because it's just THAT awesome.  And Swayze's hair?  Sweet mother of Vidal Sassoon, his hair alone deserved an Oscar.  

But in 1995, Swayze brought it.  I'm talking about To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar.  As Miss Vida Boheme, Swayze was a flawless mentoring drag queen/ass kicker (that's right, ass kicker).  Oh, let's just go to the clip already.

When I grow up I want to be Vida.  Girl loves her accessories.  Oh, and she kicks some serious ass starting at 3:23 of this clip.


Rest in peace, Patrick Swayze.  Thank you for giving us some of my generation's most memorable characters.  You will be missed.

a little Moz for your Tunes Tuesday

So, I'm still recovering from ScrapFest! but I think I owe my readers a little perfection on Tuesday. 

Y'all know I love the Morrissey.  He's perfect for my melancholy day.   That's a good word for it. 

Here's "Suedehead" from 1988's Viva Hate (is there a better album title than that?  No, I think not).   This was a good theme song for a good while.  The lyrics are pretty great, "Why do you come here
When you know it makes things hard for me ? When you know, oh Why do you come?"

This video is from the Jools Holland show.

ah, memories of drunk people

So, you’re in for a treat today, friends.  I’ve found one of the video clips I’ve been looking for on You Tube for a couple of years from Saturday Night Live back in 2001 or so.  It’s of Jeff Richard’s character “Drunk Girl,” who is pretty much dead ringer for a friend of mine from high school and college.  Mutual friends will know exactly who I’m referring to.  As you know, I am a teetotaler and always have been.  Because of my nature, I was the designated everything back in the day and for better or for worse (mostly worse), “Drunk Girl” was a friend of mine.  She was good for a few laughs.  Anyway, here’s the sketch. 


50 things no one ever asks you

I saw this on a friend's Facebook profile and it made me laugh, so here's mine.  By the way, it's almost 11am, so that may explain some of my answers.

50 things no one ever asks you…

50 (yes fifty!!) things you've never been asked….copy/paste & share!

Once you've been tagged, you have to answer this and tag 10 people, including the person who tagged you.

1. What is the color of your toothbrush?
pink and White

2. Name one person who made you smile today.
Andrew

3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
sleeping

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
waking up

5. What is your favorite candy bar?
Snickers or Almond Joy.  Girl loves an Almond Joy.

6. Have you ever been to a strip club?
oh, hell to the no.

7. What is the last thing you said aloud?
oh, hell to the no.

8. What is your favorite ice cream?
regular flavor: mint chocolate chip, but I love the Cold Stone German Chocolate Cake.

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?
still drinking my vat of coffee

10. Do you like your wallet?
yes, it's Coach and stripey with no money in it.

11. What was the last thing you ate?
a couple of Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
is it bad that I can't remember?  Did I?  Hell. 

13. The last sporting event you watched?
No idea.  I'm sure it was baseball.

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
flavor of popcorn?  really?  I like a Crunch and Munch.  Tastes better than Cracker Jack, but you don't get a prize.  That sucks.

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?
Scott

16. Ever go camping?
me, no.  I love not camping.

17. Do you take vitamins daily?
no

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?
not every Sunday.  With 3 kids, life sometimes gets in the way.  This morning there was no chance, since I was awake until 3:30 unable to sleep for no reason.

19. Do you have a tan?
if you connected the dots to my freckles, maybe.

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
yes.

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?
I enjoy straws.

22. What did your last text message say?
"I love you" from Scott

23. What are you doing tomorrow?
cleaning house, laundry, and final ScrapFest stuff.

25. Look to your left, what do you see?
a sink full of dishes.

26. What color is your watch?
silver or steel and white.

27. What do you think of when you hear Australia?
"Do you come from a land down under?
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover."

29.Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
depends on if we're going to Chick Fil A to play — most of the time it's the drive-thru

30. What is your favorite number?
42

31, Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?
Megan

32. Any plans Saturday?
yeah, I'll be rockin' the mic at ScrapFest, visiting with friends, and maybe scrapbooking if things go as planned.

33. How many states have you lived in?
3

34. Biggest annoyance right now?
a whiny child.

35. Last song listened to?
"I'll Be You."

36. can you say the alphabet backwards?
no.  how is that useful in any way unless you're trying to prove sobriety?

37. Do you have a maid service clean your house?
my family seems to think so. 

38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
black Volatile flip flops.

39. Are you jealous of anyone?
nope. 

40. Is anyone jealous of you?
for real, can you blame them?  damn. 

41. Do you love anyone?
I love many.

42. Do any of your friends have children?
I think the question should be "do any of your friends need a vacay from their children?"

43. What do you usually do during the day
as little as possible.  right now it's a lot for da Fest, taking care of the chil'ren, and being awesome.

44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
hate is a strong word.  I despise a few people.  Even loathe.

45. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
no, I use "holla." 

46. What color is your car?
silver (with a little rust spot from where I backed into the hubs' old car, it's okay, it matches my hair).

47. how many dvds do you own?
no idea.  we own more kids dvds than anything.

48. Are you thinking about someone right now?
no, I am void of thought.

49. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
sho nuff.  Six Flags is the bomb.

50. How did you get your worst scar?
when my youngest child was forcibly taken from my womb in what is known as a Cesarean Section.  I'll never have that bikini bod back.

80’s Sunday Rewind: the Replacements

The Replacements are a band I've loved since my love of music started, around 1986-87.  I'm always surprised when fellow music lovers haven't heard their stuff or don't remember them, because the Mats were simply fabulous.  Paul Westerberg has one of the best rock and roll voices around and he wrote some great tunes back in the day. 

Here are a few of my faves, starting with "Achin' to Be."

http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:uma:video:mtv.com:9829

And this is the demo (better) version of "Can't Hardly Wait."

"I'll Be You" is a great song (watch the video quick! WMG is taking down the original vid faster than you can say Westerberg!).  I played this record OUT in '89.  Yes, I said record.  "I'll Be You" is from the fantastic album Don't Tell a Soul.  Westerberg sings the line "I'm dressin' sharp and feelin' dull" which I love, as well as "rebel without a clue," which Tom Petty heard and borrowed the line for "Into the Great Wide Open." My favorite lyric is "a dream too tired to come true," which is sad and lovely all at the same time. Anyway, have a beautiful Sunday and I'll tell you what we should do, you be me for a while and I'll be you.

really, I don’t mind at all.

At least that's what I'm telling myself.  Because the more you tell yourself something, the more you believe it and then after a while, it's part of your composition.

So, maybe I won't mind. 

But for now, it's important to me because a person should have people in their life that they feel like they can count on.  And it hurts.  I'm not sure why I'm airing this here (because it's not as though they read the blog after all), and as the song says, "it's getting so you never know when things are left alone."  I don't believe leaving things alone is a trait of mine.  I'm pretty sure I wasn't in line when God was giving that one out, just as I wasn't in line for many other traits.  The trait I was blessed with for better or for worse, is expression.   And even though I'm not paid for it, fundamentally I've always been a writer-girl and the written word is my main form of expression.  So, what I can't verbalize right now will be written and maybe I'll get around to saying how I feel to whom this is directed and maybe I won't.

I know many of my readers come here for a laugh, but it hasn't been one of those days.  I hope you understand.  I'm sure I'll put a smile on my face and get back to our usual shenanigans tomorrow.  But for today, here's the song. 

I Dont Mind at All – Bourgeois Tagg