So, I was just thinking about the Christmas list I'm supposed to make and, well, yeah — a zebra. Or you know, a unicorn. You have seen my zebra loafers haven't you? I do love this card because the "or I won't believe you care about me at all" is unwritten message with every list I make.
Here at The Kerry Blog International Headquarters, it has come to our attention that perhaps the Ugly Christmas Lawn Decor Contest may be considered mean-spirited. Don't you worry, Mr. and Mrs. Reader, the contest is held out of love and humor. Anything written about homeowners is protected under the sarcasm portion of the first amendment, so don't sue me.
Merry Kringle,
Let me preface this entry by saying: I have never in my life.
Seriously.
This is Jennifer C's entry and she has outdone herself. This house is somewhere in Mandeville, LA.
Readers, behold the ugly.
Yes, those are gift-wrapped columns, stuffed animals, and gift boxes. I don't know what's up with the tigers. I'm thinking LSU fans. Or maybe it's Seigfried and Roy's winter home.
Another view. I think the gift boxes bring the Christmas joy. I like stockings in the window and Elmo, because nothing says happy birthday, Jesus like Elmo taped to your shutters. Yes, that's the finest packing tape money can buy on the siding.
To fully appreciate the tacky, Jennifer took shots at night too!
I'm glad this homeowner has home security, you wouldn't want anyone to break in and steal those stuffed animals.
Okay people, send in your pics for the Ugly Christmas Lawn Decor Contest to kerrybee7@yahoo.com. The winner will be announced on Christmas Eve and I'll send you a $25 Starbucks giftcard. So, get our your camera and go find the tacky!
I'm on an R.E.M. kick. I've been listening to them a lot lately and I'm thinking of doing an album every Tuesday this month because it has nothing to do with the holidays and there's only so much "Jingle Bell Rock" one can take.
One of my favorite albums is R.E.M.'s Green. It's one that I still own my original vinyl copy of (that has aged beautifully in the past 20 years) and I believe it's an album that is overshadowed by Out Of Time and Automatic For The People. Green was the first album recorded once the band left IRS and signed with Warner Bros and I think its serves as a fantastic and definite bridge between a different and more mainstream sound the band developed. It's also the first album guitarist Peter Buck used the mandolin on and that wacky Michael Stipe sang through a megapone on several songs. And so, this is a different kind of album, maybe that's why I've always liked it so much. Or it could just be that the album cover is orange and the title is Green and that's something my mother commented on when I bought it in 1989. No idea what the band sounded like or that I loved them so much, just "why would they call it Green, it's orange."
So, we have a band that was mostly considered college rock and had success with previous songs like "The One I Love" and "It's The End of The World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" and they come out with Green. R.E.M. had a hit with a very poppy pop song, "Stand," a song you all know and could most likely sing along to. The other big hit off the album, "Orange Crush," a song about the use of Agent Orange, the herbicide used in the Vietnam War, which led to the deaths and disabilities of more than 400,000 people, as well as the 500,000 babies born with birth defects in Vietnam. You didn't think it was about the soft drink, now did you?
The song "You Are The Everything" is haunting and beautiful and I love it. I love everything about it: the mandolin, the accordion, the line "you're drifting off to sleep with your teeth in your mouth," and the "say, say the light" refrain, just the whole song. Here it is for you.
http://www.lala.com/external/flash/SingleSongWidget.swf
You Are The Everything – R.E.M…
Back in the day, I remember opening Green and seeing that there was only one song with printed lyrics. That song was "World Leader Pretend." That struck me as odd as a teenager and I hadn't thought about it until tonight when I decided to write about the album. Here's what I found out about the song from Wikipedia:
Michael Stipe said in a 2008 interview with Rolling Stone looking back on Green: "For me the big moment was 'World Leader Pretend'. It's a tribute to Leonard Cohen, using millitary terms to describe a battle within. I was so proud of my lyrics and my vocal take that I refused to sing it a second time. I did it once. That was it."
Here's "World Leader Pretend" from 1991 and part of an interview about the folk sound in the instruments.
That's good stuff.
After "Orange Crush" on the album comes a rockin' good song, "Turn You Inside Out." It's a good choice to follow a heavy song. It features a few things I love about R.E.M. — neat lyrics ("divide your cultured pearls in haste"), great guitar, Stipe's voice, and fun backing vocals.
http://www.lala.com/external/flash/SingleSongWidget.swf
Maybe one of the best things on Green is the last song on the album. It's one of my favorites, simply titled "eleventh" on the original album, as it was the 11th song. If you buy it on iTunes you'll see that it's just "Untitled." It's one of those songs I can't really put my finger on why I like it so much, but I adore this one. Here it is with the lyrics, because I think it's a special little song.
http://www.lala.com/external/flash/SingleSongWidget.swf
This world is big and so-awake
I stayed up late to hear your voice
This light is here to keep you warm
This song is here to keep you strong
I made a list of things to say
But all I really want to say
All I really want to say is
Hold her and keep him strong
While I'm away from here
Hold her and keep her strong
While I'm away from here
Hold her and keep him strong
While I'm away from here
I've seen the world and so-awake
And stay up late to hear me sing
Just hold her
I've seen the world and so-awake
And stay up late to hear me sing
Just hold him
Hold her and keep her strong
While I'm away from here
Hold him and keep him strong
While I'm away from here
So, that's the Green post. I hope you enjoyed it, that maybe it brought back some memories from'89, that you liked some of the lesser-known R.E.M. songs that I think are superfantastic, and that it gave you a break from a mundane Tuesday.
Dear Santa,
Hi, it's Kerry in Louisiana. I know I haven't written in a couple of decades, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to send a letter your way, it being your time of year and all. How have you been? I hope you've been well, I know it can't be easy managing the elves and reindeer and Mrs. Claus and having to be jolly the whole time. Holiday stress can be a bitch, but I'm sure you've got it under control (probably with a nice beverage or two if you know what I mean). I'll be sure and put out a hot toddy with the cookies for you. Or would you rather some pralines? Maybe brownies?
So, here's why I'm writing. Let's not fool ourselves, I've been as good as can be expected. I think we both know it's been a rough few decades months and I'm trying to be good, really, I am. It's just stressful — this parenting stuff, not that you would know about that, not having children yourself. Believe me, I'm not judging because I don't know the details — maybe you and Mrs. Claus had infertility issues or decided against having kids (not that I'd blame you some days). Anyway, the suburban mom thing is to probably to blame for whatever may knock me off the "good" list, so really, that should be a reflection of my three children and you should bring them coal. Forget the Nintendo DSes — just bring coal. And switches.
Now onto what I'd like. I have a list that maybe only you can handle, so knock yourself out. If come Christmas morning some of my list isn't complete, I'll know you tried and that's all I can ask for. I appreciate the effort.
That pretty much sums it up. I hope you have the recipe for the Egg Nog shake, I'm assuming you do since you're Santa. Maybe I should ask for recipe to Popeye's Red Beans and Rice, but I don't want to get too crazy.
See you on Christmas Eve.
Love,
Damn Peppermint Mocha.
I really need coffee-colored tees. Damn boob-shelf.
I need this.
Check out this etsy.com shop — fantastic. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36074560 
One of my mottoes is "keep calm and carry on" from the World War II British motivational poster and I've put the print that's in my scrap office on the blog before, but this holiday season I have a new motto.
Seasons Greetings,
It's an 80's Christmas Sunday Rewind.
Let's start it off right with Run DMC's "Christmas in Hollis." It's the best Christmas song of all time and I'm thinking of carolling in the neighborhood this year with this one.
Another favorite of mine, "Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)" by U2.. Love the old school U2.
One of the best, "2000 Miles" by The Pretenders. This is pure fabulous.
And because I like George Michael best with feathered hair and tinsel, it's Wham's "Last Christmas."
Lastly, it's The Waitresses with "Christmas Wrapping" from 1981, set to seizure-inducing Christmas lights!
How fun are 80's Christmas songs? Super fun.
So, today's post has a soundtrack. It's "Get Up" from R.E.M. just because it's a good song and kind of matches my mood right now. Plus, the line "dreams, they complicate my life" is pretty great.
I'm all over the place today, so I'm blogging a disconnected superfluous Saturday post. It snowed last night. Of course, I live in south Louisiana, so it's already melted and the kids are disappointed (but there is nothing I can do about that being that I do not actually have superpowers, or at least none that would help at the moment).
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The Shop Around The Corner was on last night and I watched it for probably the fifth time. It's my favorite Jimmy Stewart movie and it's what You've Got Mail is a remake of, but the two main characters are pen pals instead of email and IM friends ('cause it's 1940 and Al Gore hadn't been born to invent the interwebs yet). It's quite a lovely little movie, as well as being a Christmas movie, so it's a perfect time to watch it. I may have to watch You've Got Mail tonight.
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I don't know what to ask for this Christmas. I've been told to make a list by the hubs and I have to think of a couple of things for the parents to get me. There are a few things about the Christmas Season I absolutely abhor: ridiculously tacky Christmas decor, holiday-themed sweaters, Christmas songs by country singers, the fact that McDonalds no longer makes the egg nog milkshake, and making a Christmas list for myself. I never know what to ask for because I buy things for myself when I want them. I'd planned to ask the hubs for a Kindle, but have decided to get a Nook from Barnes and Noble — here's the rub: they're not shipping until sometime in January. Naturally, I'm not going to ask for the Nook for Christmas because if I can't open it for Christmas it's really not a Christmas present, now is it? I may ask for therapy and Target pharmacy giftcards for Christmas.
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I would like to welcome my new readers in Budapest and can't help but wonder how this blog translates in Hungary. Also, the search term you used to arrive at my blog was, for lack of a better word, interesting. The exclamation point shows that you REALLY mean it, because who knows what "redhead bbw pin-up girl" without the exclamation point would bring up. By the way, the oddest search term used this week used to find my blog, according to my stat counter, was "big boobs scrap," which I can only guess is from that ONE time I was drunk and scrapbooking topless (that was a joke people, I ALWAYS scrapbook topless).
