No one captures the spirit of Christmas quite like Anne Taintor. Okay, no one captures my sarcastic and cynical Christmas spirit like Anne Taintor.
Have I mentioned that the part of the holiday I'm looking most forward to is one night next week when I'll be spending the night in my hotel room in Shreveport alone? Sing it with me, "all I want for Christmas is a Do Not Disturb Sign…"
And I won't even need to get hammered to enjoy it.
Here's Melissa's entry for the Ugly Christmas Lawn Decor Contest.
Apparently the Christ child is to the left.
Send in photos of the tackiest yard in your 'hood to kerrybee7@yahoo.com and the winner will receive a $25 Starbucks giftcard. The tackiest entry will be announced on Christmas Eve!
It's the last of the 80's Christmas songs and I found this mishmash video about the first two A Very Special Christmas albums on You Tube. It says from 1987, but they reference songs from the second album too (1992). The early A Very Special Christmas albums were pretty great. I honestly didn't realize the albums were still being produced. They're up to volume 7 and it's completely Disneyfied, which just goes to show you how far the Disneyfication of music has spread. Anyway, let's watch this video from back in the day.
I thought I'd end the 80's Christmas bonanza with my favorite Christmas song, which just happens to be on volume 1 of A Very Special Christmas, "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" by The Pretenders. I adore this version. Chrissie Hynde captures the original melancholy of the song perfectly and doesn't try to make it cute and sweet like other versions. "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" has been my favorite for years and I have several versions of it, but this one is really special. And no, I won't be getting the new Bob Dylan version.
Last night the kids and I hit the suburban streets of Madisonville for one of my favorite seasonal activities: looking at Christmas lights while listening to Christmas music from the comfort of our heated minivan. As usual, my idealized traditional evening turned to crap when I got lost in one of the ginormous subdivisions, the heat completely went out in the minivan (it had been working intermittently — like windshield wipers), and the middle child had a meltdown ending in tears. Twenty minutes later, I followed someone out of the subdivision and we made our way home.
While looking at the same houses 30 times last night, I came to a conclusion: people need to get original.
I saw enough lit and inflatable trains, Winnie the Poohs, Mickeys, giant ass Santas, North Pole barber-pole-type signs, nativity sets, and Santas on motorcycles, boats, sleighs, etc to last a lifetime. It appears Mr. and Mrs. America is in a rut, so your favorite redheaded blogger took it upon herself to present a challenge. You know about The Kerry Blog Ugly Christmas Lawn Decor Contest, but I'm introducing a bonus round. If you send in a pic of something truly unique you will win an extra prize (to be determined).
Taking our inspiration from Sarabeth's Christmas Zebra, here are a few ideas to get you in the outlandish spirit.
Yes, that's Santa on a hammock, Santa getting a ticket, Grandma getting run over by a reindeer in a steamroller, and a giant inflatable dreidel. There aren't enough inflatable Hanukkah decorations are there? I'm thinking of getting some.
Remember to send in photos of the tackiest yard in your 'hood to kerrybee7@yahoo.com and the winner will receive a $25 Starbucks giftcard. The tackiest entry will be announced on Christmas Eve!
Why do I get the feeling the sprinkles aren't the only green thing in the brownies? I love it when Snoop visits Martha and asks things like "why can't you bake them at 420 degrees?"
When Jennifer asked me if I'd seen the Christmas Zebra I thought she'd been hitting the egg nog a little too hard.
Then she sent in these photos as Sarabeth's entry for Kerry Blog Ugly Christmas Lawn Decor Contest.
It appears this homeowner has purchased every inflatable thing in existence. We have the snowperson family, penguin merry-go-round, and my favorite — the mythical Christmas Zebra.
Yes, kids, it's the Christmas Zebra. I'm surprised there isn't a sunbeam shining down from the heavens on the mythical Christmas Zebra. He IS what this season is all about, after all. As you know, nothing says Christmas like a sweater-wearing striped equid. Some people will try to tell you zebras are Jewish and therefore do not celebrate Christmas, but here we have proof! Next year I'm only decorating with zebras. And unicorns because they love Christmas. Notice Santa's at the door as well as caroling by the windows. The ferris wheel is something else. What, I don't know. There is a carnival theme, but not quite.
Of course, the scene wouldn't be complete without the house band from the North Pole bar. It's the Icee Polar Bear, a penguin, and what appears to be a blind antler-wearing well-endowed kangaroo. That ain't no reindeer, peeps. Reindeer have more self-respect than this punk. I'm not sure what that is behind him, looks like he killed Santa and attempted to hide the body. Never trust a masked kangaroo in antlers, they're trouble.
Send in photos of the tackiest yard in your 'hood to kerrybee7@yahoo.com and the winner will receive a $25 Starbucks giftcard. The tackiest entry will be announced on Christmas Eve!
If I had and actual plan for Tunes You Need Tuesday, I would have started with Murmur, then either Fables of the Reconstruction or Lifes Rich Pageant (haven't decided which), then Document, and end with Green.
But The Kerry Blog doesn't often follow a plan and the author often flies by the seat of her (capri) pants. If you've been reading for any length of time, you're probably aware of this.
So, let's take a look at Document, the last album R.E.M. released under the I.R.S. label. If you read last week's Tunes, you know that Green was the first album the band made under Warner Bros. and how different that album was from previous albums. Document is a great album for many reasons. It has more of a rock feel, more mainstream than the earlier albums that have that college rock sound they were known for previously.
And now for the "Page" side of Document, from back in the day when albums had sides.
The first song on the album is "Finest Worksong," a great song that I've always liked, particularly for the way Michael Stipe sings the word "rearranged." You'll find a fab different version of this song with horns on the compilation album Eponymous as well. I've always thought "Finest Worksong" to be the perfect first song because the energy is great and I find it hard to sit still while listening. Here's the only way to kick off our listening party, "Finest Worksong."
Next on Document is "Welcome To The Occupation," a darker song before the upbeat "Exhuming McCarthy." "Exhuming McCarthy" starts with the click-clack of typewriter keys, features fantastic horns, and the sound clip from the McCarthy hearings ("have you no sense of decency, sir?") which makes it sound unlike other R.E.M. songs. This song is enjoyable.
"Disturbance At The Heron House" is another good song in the upbeat vain of "Exhuming McCarthy." There's something I love about the line "the call came in to Party Central" that I love, as well as the refrain "to try to tell us something we don't know." I really like the beginning guitar part of this song. A real gem on Document is "Strange." I've always liked this little song, and after checking out Wikipedia, I found out "Strange" was first recorded by a band called Wire (who I've never heard of). It's a fun song and isn't found on any of R.E.M.'s compilations, so naturally I gravitate toward songs like that. Take a listen.
The last song on the "Page" side of Document is "It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)." I'm assuming everyone knows this song, it's a classic. I thought I'd throw in the video because I hadn't seen it in a while and thought maybe some of you haven't either. Fun stuff.
The "Leaf" side of the album begins with "The One I Love," which was R.E.M.'s first hit single. It reached #9 on Billboard and had a visually stunning video to accompany it. The song is an interesting one, it has three verses, nearly identical and the word "fire" as the chorus. Speaking of fire, on the original sleeve of the album, were the words "File Under Fire." The second part of the album has a lot of fire imagery with "The One I Love,""Fireplace," and "Oddfellows Local 151."
As I've said before, R.E.M. really doesn't do love songs and "The One I Love" isn't a love song, it's an admission that the person in the song was only a prop and has been replaced with another prop "to occupy my time." That's cold. Here's the video. By the way, the Director of Photography was Food Network's Alton Brown.
The remaining songs onDocument are kind of a mishmash of odd songs, but "King of Birds" really stands out. The video I've included is from Tour Film, a superfantastic tour video. I adore the percussion in this version.
So, that's more or less what I love about R.E.M.'s fifth album, Document. If you only have compilations of the earlier R.E.M. stuff, I highly recommend getting the album, it's quite special.
Sleep isn't coming due to the static in my brain. The static of thoughts. Here are thoughts that can be said out loud, and thus publishable.
In the morning I will have to sit through the 1st grade Christmas program for the 3rd time. The first child repeated 1st grade, so I attended the program again last year. This year, Katie is in Transitional 1st grade and will be in 1st grade next year. That means I will be attending next year as well. The boy child will be in 1st grade the year after that. For you out there playing the home game, that means Kerry will be sitting through the 1st grade Christmas program five years IN A ROW. If I don't drink myself to death on egg nog first.
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I'm thinking it's a good time to bring back wearing hats. Aretha Franklin's hat was so inspiring last January that I think we should mark the anniversary of Aretha's hat by donning our finest chapeaus. Most of the country will be marking the day by remembering President Obama's first year in office, but I'm calling it Aretha's Hat Day.
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The pharmacist at Walgreens offered the kids Dum-Dum suckers today. I'm never offered candy as an adult. This is wrong on so many levels.
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So far, the most attractively wrapped gift under my tree is for someone on my list who will not notice the effort. As my family and friends know, I am a gift-wrap snob. The other day, I ran out of the ribbon I've used for every other present and pulled out the only ribbon that would match the paper, which is beautiful. I only use Hallmark paper, real ribbon or trim, never those stick-on bows, and please — don't get me started on paper that doesn't go with your tree or paper with characters. It's like people forget what this holiday is all about!
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I've been pondering growing my hair out.
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While driving with Frugal Beth the other day, we talked about colors and she mentioned I never wear green. I told her I feel like a Christmas tree in green. I then told her that after The Great Closet Purge, I realized I mainly only wear gray, white, black, brown, red, and pink. Denim doesn't count. I did buy a saftey-orange sweater that I really like. I can't help but think that once I put it in the closet it's going to be swallowed by the other colors and I'll never see it again. I own blue, but seldom wear it. I hate purple. One of the worst methods of torture I can imagine is being forced to wear yellow. Or peach. Ick.
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I watched a clip from a documentary about dogs that have leapt to their deaths from a bridge in England. Further proof that I will watch a documentary on anything. By the way, the dogs weren't suicidal — they may have been smelling mink and were curious. So, curiosity kills dogs too.
Most everyone knows I love the Christmas songs. My favorite Christmas music tends to be of the 50's Christmas Cocktails variety (Peggy Lee, Kay Starr), but I greatly enjoy the modern Christmas classics as well.
Technically it's from 1979, but it's one of my favorites, "Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney.
I love my Pet Shop Boys. This video is from 2000, but the original is 80s. "It Doesn't Often Snow at Christmas" is not a classic, but you can dance to it.
Here's Bruce Springsteen doing "Merry Christmas, Baby." This was one of my favorites from A Very Special Christmas.
And what would Christmas be without The Ramones "Merry Chirstmas (I Don't Want to Fight Tonight)"?