curse words and nicknames and terms of endearment

I enjoy a good curse word from time to time.  I tend not to pepper my everyday speech (okay, not every hour) with foul language because it loses effect and makes one sound like a sailor going around saying "I'd like a motherf*ckin' iced tea."  And so, years ago, probably around the time my first child was born, I started saying anti-curse words that are acceptable to say in any situation.  

My grandmother always said "she-I-T," saying the word she and spelling I and T.  When I was a kid and teenager, I found this hysterical, because everyone knew she cursing.  

Wilson020203_big  I like my anti-cursing better.  My super mega favorite phrase is "Flip Wilson," because it starts with F and has an impact and because it is out there, so if people overhear you, they're all "say what?" and you're all "you know, Flip Wilson" then they look at you at you like they've never heard anyone use a dead black comedian's name as an expletive before.  Some people.  Losers.  

Maybe it's because Flip Wilson was black.  If that's the case, then people are just damn racists and there is no room for that on my blog.  AND I WILL TURN THIS BLOG AROUND RIGHT NOW!  

Another great anti-curse word is "MaHAILia!"  You can also try "oh MaHAILia" or variations on that theme. 

The only other ant-curse phrase I use is "shut the front door" and I think we all know what that is the substitute for.  

I do know that when my children grow up they will tell people their mother used to yell deceased black performers names when I stubbed my toe or said "shut the front door!" on the phone with a friend and they'd look to see that the door was in fact closed.  They will be confused, but at least I'm not cursing like a sailor.  

My children also know that I have a thing for nicknames.  I think I get this from my grandmother too, who called me Puddin' Dumplin', which got shortened to Pud in later years.  I like to nickname people.  It's fun.  Try it.  The many nicknames for the munchkins are as follows: Puddin' Pop, Puddin' Pop America, and Snack Pack (which also has to do with pudding), as well as Muffinhead, Punkin' Muffin, and Snuggle Muffin.  I don't know where the pudding and muffin thing came from.  I don't even like pudding and muffins all that much.  Okay, I love a banana nut muffin, but I'm more of a loaf-bread person.  Give me a zucchini bread or a pumpkin bread any day of the week and I'm one happy redheaded chick.

I've had nicknames for the hubs, but they've never stuck.  His entire family calls him "Scotty," which I will say to get his attention, and only to get his attention, because hearing that is like nails on a chalkboard to me. I've tried  Scotch, Scooter, Fred Flinstone-head (have you seen his head?  totally Fred Flintstone!), but nothing sticks.  

Then there are my good friends.  Y'all have read about Frugal Beth.  The woman is frugal – even though I did witness her (gasp!) throw some paper bigger than a postage stamp away at ScrapFest.  I call my friend and bizness partner, Megan, Snack Shack and Lunchbox for absolutely no reason.  No idea where those names came from.  Jennifer is Jenny From the Block.  Kim has always been Country Kim.  Darla is Dar to me and she is one of the few people who calls me Ker.  Anna Bess is AB, but I'm sure I didn't give her that nickname.  

F0052826_496d287116b72 I've come up with many random nicknames for friends over the years, but my favorite multipurpose name is Honey Bunches of Oats, which I use as a term of endearment for people I really care about.  If I call you Honey Bunches of Oats, you are in my inner circle.  Some of you know this.  

Why Honey Bunches of Oats?  Because! it is only the best cereal of all time and I would only call my loved ones something based on something superfantastic. Duh.  I am not kidding when I tell you that when I first saw the commercial for Honey Bunches of Oats: Just Bunches, I said out loud, "this changes everything."  Yes, I am a little dramatic.  I'm not even a breakfast person, I just like Honey Bunches of Oats – With Almonds.  Yes, it has to be With Almonds or I don't want any part of it.  

What about my nicknames?  Well, I was Kerry B for a long time and I'm ReeRee to a few people and Aunt ReeRee to a couple of munchkins.  And I'm Mom.  And I think those are pretty cool.  Now, if I could only start getting the kids to start calling me Queen Mother.

my birthday is just around the corner

Okay, so it's in July, but still.  I just saw online that the painting Steven Baldwin commissioned of Alec Baldwin for his wedding to Kim Bassinger is for sale on Ebay.  

Screen shot 2010-03-03 at 10.43.41 PM
 

This would look great in my house, y'all.  Right after I have the living room repainted Ice White and put in the bear skin rug and get my stuffed white tiger out of storage.  

ANDLETMETELLYOUANOTHERTHING!

So, another ScrapFest! is over and soon I'll begin the website revamp to start getting ready for the September event.  It was a very cold weekend.  I was getting over bronchitis, had just gotten my voice back in time to be Mistress of Ceremonies, and now I'm coughing again.  Yea me!  Of course, I'm an idiot, and didn't bring my inhaler, so that didn't help Saturday night when we were loading up the vehicles in the cold (thanks to Frugal Beth, Sarah, and Michele who mostly loaded my car).  My car had ice on it at 1am.  It was cold, people.  And I literally sold the hoodie off my back.  Last September, I designed hoodies that we sold and of course I'd left mine at the house.  On Thursday I wore a jean jacket.  Friday I didn't wear a jacket and froze, so I pulled a hoodie off the pile and wore it that evening and wore it home because it was so dang cold.  So, Saturday night, one of our fabulous croppers asks if we have any 2x hoodies left, and I say, "well, honestly, the only one we have is the one I was wearing last night, but I promise I only wore it last night because I was freezing to death."  She said she'd take it.  That's right, people, I will sell the hoodie off my back.  

That's the ScrapFest! wrap-up.  Oh, and I ran off some skate-punk teenagers who walked into the Castine Center with skateboards under their arms.  They said they were looking for concessions.  Oh, and some guy came in and asked if I knew anything about the dance party.  ANSWER: hell yeah!  Break out the disco ball, baby!

Other things going on in Kerryworld are:  

  • I'm currently trying to be suckered into a massive project I've already turned down once.  This time the party doing the asking has gotten my hubs involved, asking him to ask me.  LIKE THAT WILL WORK! HA!  I LAUGH IN YOUR FACE!  
  • I am taking on another project because I was clearly drunk on cough medicine when I agreed to said project.  Note to friends: hit Kerry up for stuff when she's sick!  Kidding.
  • I bought a keyboard that will not work on a Mac when I was drunk on cough medicine.  Note to self: do not shop online while sick.
  • I think a certain Etsy seller is holding one of my purchases hostage.  I am not positive, but we have had a lot of communication back and forth and finally she says she mailed it Saturday.  It has been two months since I ordered the item.  We shall see.  
  • For very different reasons, I've been disappointed in a few people lately.  My feelings have been hurt and I'm not sure what can be done to remedy the problem except for letting time pass.  Time takes time.  But what I want to do is say something very different.  What I want to say is in the words of Morrissey, "nothing's changed, I still love you, oh, I still love you only slightly less than I used to."  You know, or something like that.  There are things I would like to say that I can't say.  I would like to yell "ANDLETMETELLYOUANOTHERTHING!"  But I can't.  And the thing is that the people who have hurt me probably don't realize their trespasses.  But they should.  If it were me, I would have.  But then again, I have feelings.  

And so, that's it for tonight.  I'm taking a a week or so off now that ScrapFest! is over before I start the site. Who knows what's next.  I thought I'd let you know what I'm listening to right now, something I'm finding a little solace in.  Ingrid Michaelson reminds me a little of one of my faves, Regina Spektor.  This song is called "Keep Breathing," and I first heard it on Grey's Anatomy.  

06 Keep Breathing

This one is "Be OK" and it's just how I feel.  So, thanks Ingrid.  

01 Be OK

This isn't a real Tunes Tuesday post, but do yourself a favor and go get Ingrid's album Girls and Boys and these two songs from Be OK.  She's a great young singer/songwriter and is indie and supergood.  

march desktop

Hey y'all.  I'm recovering from ScrapFest.  It's going to take a while, but I thought I'd do at least one semi-productive thing today.  I made a March desktop background for you.  Okay, I made it for myself, it fits my 1440×900 Macbook Pro, but I suspect it will work for whatever your screen is with a little playing around.  I'm not loving it yet, so don't be surprised if I tweak it and put it up again.  

KBFMarchdesktopDownload KBFMarchdesktop.jpg 

that time again

I'm sure if you're a regular reader of the Kerry Blog, you've noticed that posts lately have been short, mostly photos or videos and there has been no rhyme or reason to them  – and that's because I have one of several mental illnesses only yet uncovered by modern psychology.  No, silly, it's ScrapFest!  

Yes, it's ScrapFest!  Megan and I have been working our behinds off to get things ready for 9am Thursday when the doors open to crazy women with scissors.  I've been a nervous wreck.  We've worked really hard and I hope it shows – I wish all of you could see it.  So, starting Thursday, go over to the ScrapFest! Chicks blog and check out what's happening.  

I'll be back blogging here next week after I've recovered.  

Love,