what I do

I buy shoes. Cute shoes. While on pain killers.

fun stuff

So, there is a website where you can put any url in and it simulates what the site would look like if you were drunk (or on Percocet). It's Alcowebizer and of course I tried it with the blog. I set it to the middle level for blood alcohol and this is what it gave me.

It turns the blog to Comic Sans, adds misspellings, and replaces my images with lolcats. Oh dear. How scary is that?

resolutions for 2011

2011. Can you believe it? I'm still writing 1999 on my checks.

I've been writing resolutions on the blog for a few years now and I thought I might as well do it again even though every year I say "why am I doing this?" So, here goes.

1. Burn my Spanx.

2. Not blog while angry.

3. Okay, not blog while angry on narcotics (often).

4. Okay, not blog while very angry.

6. Eat crunchy foods again.

7. Only go to the hospital to visit people.

8. Get some sort of title like Duchess bestowed on me.

9. Try to sing in the grocery store less.

10. Not take on any design projects for free unless it's for bffs or Alec Baldwin. Or Clooney.

11. Not go to rehab for anything.

12. Try to reference Stefon more (because it's this thing like where somebody calls Miss Piggy Fat and she goes "hai ya!")

13. Not cry in a doctor's office.

14. Get an invite to Prince William's wedding.

15. Ask Prince William to give me a title like Duchess. Duchess Ree Ree would be good.

I’m Nancy Drew

So, a package arrived. Bogus return address. No postmark. It is an owl ornament. Everyone knows I hate owls. It is purple and was in a purple box. Everyone knows I hate purple.

That narrows it down.

happy

Love,
Kerry

And the winner is…

Announcing the winner of the 3rd Annual Kerry Blog Ugly Christmas Lawn Decor Contest — Molly M. with a video from her 'hood.

In my best Stefon (my favorite) voice from SNL's Weekend Update — this house has everything — Santa Claus, reindeer, regular deer, a train, a seal or something, various Disney characters, Jesus and his family, fake lit palm trees, a real lit tree, fake spriraly trees, a Merry Christmas sign, big giant candles, icicle lights, and just when you think you've seen everything — what is that? an igloo? yes, an igloo. This house looks like it bought out the Christmas Display of a small town.

Congratulations, Molly! Your Starbucks giftcard will soon be on the way.