all cee-lo, all the time

In an effort to bring you the latest in Cee-Lo Green everything, here is "F*ck You" in ASL.  

(NSFW, language and sign language)

*whoops — The original embed was set to private, so I replaced it with one that may not be available in all regions.  Sorry 'bout that.

 

Now ain't that some shit?

songs for saturday

Here are a few beautiful songs from Elliott Smith for your Saturday night.  Up first is "Somebody That I Used to Know," a lovely short song of disappointment and bitterness, but happy and upbeat.

 

I had tender feelings that you made hard,
But it's your heart, not mine, that's scarred.
So when I go home, I'll be happy to go –
You're just somebody that I used to know.

You don't need my help anymore,
It's all now to you, there ain't no before,
Now that you're big enough to run your own show,
You're just somebody that I used to know.

I watched you deal in a dying day,
And throw a living past away,
So you can be sure that you're in control,
You're just somebody that I used to know.

I know you don't think you did me wrong,
And I can't stay this mad for long,
Keeping ahold of what you just let go –
You're just somebody that I used to know.

 

And a great performance of "Waltz #2 (XO)" from Later with Jools Holland — a great British show for music. Probably my favorite Smith song.    

 

First the mic then a half cigarette
Singing 'Cathy's Clown'
That's the man she's married to now
That's the girl that he takes around town

She appears composed, so she is, I suppose
Who can really tell?
She shows no emotion at all
Stares into space like a dead china doll

I'm never gonna know you now
But I'm gonna love you anyhow

Now she's done and they're calling someone
Such a familiar name
I'm so glad that my memory's remote
Cause I'm doing just fine hour to hour, note to note

Here it is, the revenge to the tune
"You're no good,
You're no good you're no good you're no good"
Can't you tell that it's well understood

I'm never gonna know you now
But I'm gonna love you anyhow

I'm here today and expected to stay on and on and on
I'm tired
I'm tired

Looking out on the substitute scene
Still going strong
XO, Mom
It's ok, it's alright, nothing's wrong

Tell Mr. Man with impossible plans to just leave me alone
In the place where I make no mistakes
In the place where I have what it takes

I'm never gonna know you now
But I'm gonna love you anyhow
I'm never gonna know you now
But I'm gonna love you anyhow
I'm never gonna know you now
But I'm gonna love you anyhow 

 

As I've written before, Smith was an immensely talented songwriter.  I can't say enough about his writing.  It helped that his voice was a beautiful companion to his lyrics and guitar.  "Sweet Adeline" is another favorite.  If you don't have Smith on your iPod you need to get some.  I give you permission to leave the blog and go to iTunes right now.  Go ahead.  More later.

words we need to kill with death

I was reading Mental Floss and they had Lake Superior State University's list of overused words that need to be eradicated from our vocabularies and I couldn't agree more.  

Here is their list:

1. Viral.
2. Epic.
3. Fail.
4. Wow Factor.
5. A-ha Moment.
6. Back story.
7. BFF.
8. Man up.
9. Refudiate.
10. Mama Grizzlies.
11. The American People
12. I’m Just Sayin’
13. Facebook/Google as a verb
14. Live Life to the Fullest

Personally, I loathe all of those except for BFF.  I have a few BFFs and they're not just friends.  Friends who are there for you through the really thick and thin, happy times and rough patches are more than just friends.  I love my friends.  My BFFs have been with me through an awful lot and they know how much I love and appreciate them.  

I would like to add a couple more words to the list:

1. Literally

2. Snooki

3. Brangelina

4. Ya know

5. Saying "the N word" (with quotes and an N).

6. Kardashian

7. Anything Rachael Ray says (EVOO, "sammie," "choup").

8. Housewives

9. Anything ending in -ista

10. Hoarders

 

That's the Kerry list.  I would like to smack people who use those words.  I may start doing that.  As a tweet that Jimmy Fallon read last night said, "I'm going to strangle people who say 'just sayin'' and say 'sorry, just stranglin'."  I love that.  

random thoughts in the waiting room

I’m in the gynecologist’s waiting room. This place induces anxiety.

The nurse just called a woman’s name – her name is Echo. I wanted to go “Echo–” real soft.

The tv is on The Price is Right. Good grief.

Now in the exam room. My nurse said “good for you, girl” about the weight I’ve lost since last year.

Great. My nurse told me my doc left to go deliver a baby and would be back in 30 minutes. Like Dominoes.

Maybe he will bring back some pizza. I’m getting hungry.

I guess I’m supposed to hang out in the purdy blue gown.

The oldies station is on, “Kerry Ann” is on. My middle name is not Ann.

Thank God for iPhones.

I’m now texting friends about the ridiculousness that is my life.

You know, the only appropriate accessories for a gynecologist appointment are toe rings and anklets.

I’m not mentioning vajayjay piercings because ew.

The iPhone tried to correct vajayjay to “Raja.”

I’m being held hostage. I’m going to sue. Maybe I’ll sue them for making me listen to crappy music.

Really, if I was a spy and a foreign country was trying to get me to divulge secrets, all they would have to do is play bad music and take away my iPhone.

I would be a very bad spy.

I would be a better Bond girl. If Bond liked redheaded chubby girls.

They replaced the chair in here with a new pretty slipper chair, but didn’t paint.

Now it’s “Bang a Gong.”

How long have I been in here? Where’s my pizza?

“Sexual Healing” is on. Appropriate or no for the gynecologist’s office?

This is the most surreal appointment ever.