Truth.

Because I hate you cards

Once again, a company has tapped into my psyche and put my feelings on paper in the form of greeting cards. BecauseIhateyou.com has all your hateful greeting card needs, from New Baby:

To Christmas:

To Birthdays:

I don’t think I need to tell y’all that I’m buying these in bulk.

Easy mistake to make

So he says.

Victoria’s Secret “fashion show” 2013 is hot. How hot? Sexy dishwashing angel hot.

Once again, Victoria’s Secret made a statement to the world about fashion. That statement is a secret, however, and we have a feeling it may be “don’t tell anybody, but I thought this was a Project Runway challenge where we had to make lingerie from elements from a party store, pet shop, and Everything’s $1.”

Here at VS, we find nothing sexier than a woman in lingerie doing our dishes (dish gloves are hottttt). Sexy dishwashing angel.

Here we have the Dominatrix Angels, clearly showing that VS has no idea what an angle is. — Here we have the Dominatrix Angels, clearly showing that VS has no idea what an angel is. And is that the Eiffel Tower on her head? Yes, it is.

Sexy rocker chic and Sexy soccer? Is this a Halloween costume fashion show?

Snow gypsy! I'm wearing this for our Christmas card. — Snow gypsy/spiderweb bubble girl! I’m wearing this for our Christmas card.

Scottish angel? Scottish demon? Sexy ringmaster demon? I’m confused.

Ok, not going to lie. I'd wear that right now. — Ok, not going to lie. I’d wear that Pink Pocahontas number right now. To Target.

I didn't know Peter Maxx designed for VS, but that is certainly his butterfly. — I didn’t know Peter Maxx designed for VS, but that is certainly his butterfly.

Now it's Ursula. Stealing from Disney. Poor unfortunate souls. — Now it’s Ursula. Stealing from Disney. Poor unfortunate souls.

OMG. LOL. Lisa Frank designed this. STFU. And the first chick is totally wearing a skirt made of paint swatches.

Move over, Lisa Frank - it's Punky Brewster! — Move over, Lisa Frank – it’s Punky Brewster! OMG bibs are hotttt.

Also, give it up for GINGER SPICE! — Also, give it up for GINGER SPICE and vaguely British things?

And feathers. Nothing is sexier than feathers. And peacocks. And vaguely racist Native American dream catcher angel wings because Native Americans are sexy.

George Bush dances to mark my return to blogging

Former President George Bush was in Zambia when he heard I was making my triumphant return to blogging. He simply could not contain his excitement.

These photos are even better if you play “Rump Shaker” while reading.

Press play.

Wreckx-N-Effect – Rump Shaker http://assets.bop.fm/embed.js

Pics from Buzzfeed.

Update #2 before the real update

So, I took time off. It’s been a difficult couple of months. I have bunches to tell y’all. Get ready.

update before the update

Dear Readers,

Many things are going on in my real life right now and I will post about those things soon. Until then, know that each and every one of you is a special and unique flower in the garden of the interwebs and I love your guts.

Also, I am moving to Texas.

Love and Rockets,

Kerry

I love fall

Saw this on the internets.

Lucy and her typewriter

This isn’t so much in the vain of my Writers with Their Typewriters series, but it’s Lucille Ball. I love Lucy. I love her so much I named my dog after her. It’s true. She was a brilliant comedienne. If you haven’t seen her in anything but her TV shows, do yourself a favor and watch Stage Door. She’s 26 and beautiful and steals every scene she’s in.

Hello Walter

DeviantArt user UniqueT made a Walter White Hello Kitty. This may be my favorite thing since the Hello Kitty AK-47.