Y’all know I love celebrating random holidays, so happy Bastille Day.
I’m busy with ScrapFest! stuff and this is my mom’s last day in town, so this isn’t going to be a long post day. Maybe I’ll post later, who knows. Here’s a random layout for today. Sorry the for the flash on the picture, but hey, I don’t have a 12×12 scanner & it’s the best I could do. In case anyone’s looking for a belated birthday gift idea for me, a 12×12 scanner would be awesome.
Holly did this on her blog, so I’m stealing it. Check her blog out — it’s on the right.
drinking: iced tea
listening to: the new REM
reading: on the Epilogue of One Tough Mother by Julie Barnhill
relieved about: gosh, I really don’t have anything right now. Um, that Katie will be starting Kindergarten
missing: a few old friends
not digging: being another year older
totally thankful for: all my loved ones. and chocolate. and Mexican food.
planning: ScrapFest! September
reliving: my past birthdays
daydreaming about: Going to Scrap ‘n on the River in 2 weeks
putting off: phone calls
finally accomplished: living where I’ve always wanted to be
scrappin’ with: nobody right now — but in 2 weeks I’ll be scrappin’ with Megan, Beth, Anna Bess and about 300 other crazy women.
So, there. Tag you’re it!
Note to friends and family: this Christmas count on getting this lovely Richard Simmons in Chains magnet. You’re welcome.
So, today I’m 34 and I thought I’d make a list of things I’ve learned after being on Earth for 34 years. Here we go.
1. Curly-haired people should not wear bangs.
2. Don’t try to walk down stairs carrying large objects.
3. Make sure you look at the gas-thingie, if you don’t you might put diesel in your Toyota.
4. BIrds are dangerous.
5. Basset hounds are not small dogs, they are big dogs on short legs.
6. Do not drop a laptop computer.
7. Back-up important computer files.
8. The first pancake off the griddle will not turn out.
9. When in a funk, play 80’s music, it will cheer you right up.
10. When feeling down, wear fun shoes.
11. Celebrate all holidays.
12. You can’t have too many purses. For realz.
13. Always have a stroller in the car if you have a toddler.
14. A good bra is hard to find.
15. Do not leave a child alone with a pair of scissors and a cat.
16. Downy Wrinkle Release is the best thing ever.
17. Do not take price tags off of clothes before you try them on.
18. Always have a tube of red lipstick on hand.
19. Cake = good.
20. Make sure the cap is on tight before sprinkling Cumin into chili.
21. If a bag of broccoli is practically frozen solid, don’t try banging it on the counter to break it up.
22. If you are leaving the house and think, “hmm, I should bring an umbrella,” do it.
23. Don’t gossip (but if you’re going to gossip, make sure the person you’re talking about isn’t standing behind you or walking toward you unless you’re ready for an uncomfortable confrontation, i.e. Casino Night–shout out to Kim).
24. ALWAYS have a camera on hand. You never know when your bff might stand under a sign pointing down that says “TRASH.”
25. If possible be a redhead. If it’s not your natural color, there’s always a salon around somewhere.
26. No one is normal.
27. If you’re in Mississippi and you see a sign for the Turkey Creek Waterpark, you may very well be travelling in the wrong direction. If you’ve done this for 2 consecutive years, you are, in fact, a dumbass.
28. It’s okay to not be particularly good at parking. Paralell or otherwise.
29. It is not socially acceptable to yell “I love black people” in a restaurant. This is another shout out to Kim.
30. While watching a scary movie and someone’s going to enter a room you know they should stay out of and you yell “don’t go in there!” they will anyway.
31. It is okay to give away your “skinny” clothes. Even if you lose weight, it’s probably going to be out of style by then.
32. Not everyone appreciates sarcasm. But that’s their problem.
33. Spend time with people you like and people that love you. Life’s too short to spend your time with people you can barely tolerate.
34. Laugh at yourself. Often. If you’re like me, you have reasons to do so.
And one to grow on — Marry someone who can laugh at themselves, too.
So, there’s only one more shopping day until my birthday tomorrow and I’m sure some of you out there still need to pick up a gift on the way to my birthday extravaganza. In honor of my 34th, there will be 34 butterflies released, 34 ballerina bears, and 34 different kinds of fondue for appetizers served by 34 penguin waiters. Oh, and 34 Elvis impersonators representing 34 countries singing the top 34 Elvis songs of all time.
Here’s a gift idea brought to you buy the fine people at Bunway Inc. I give you the Bun-o-matic Bunny Letter Opener. It’s a 20 second video and it’s the best 20 seconds you spend today, I promise.
I have no idea what the Bun-o-matic Bunny Letter Opener retails for or where you can purchase this item, but you might check Office PetSmart Depot. The Bun-o-matic Bunny Letter Opener runs on carrots and requires a litter box.
So, my birthday is Wednesday and in case someone out there hasn’t picked up on any of the hints I’ve so lovingly dropped (Vera Bradly duffle in Java Blue or Pinwheel Pink, cash money, Dooney & Bourke black drawstring slouch bag, you know, the obvious), I thought I’d give you some last minute ideas in the next couple of days.
Number one is the Aquarium Toilet. Let’s have a look, shall we?
Oh, yes, it’s a beauty. I know this is the 2nd toilet I’ve posted in a couple of weeks, but really, this one is so freakin’ awesome, how could I not share this? Now, we gave up our fish tank last year because I was the only one taking care of it, but having the aquarium in the bathroom would solve that problem since 3 other people (soon to be 4) in my family use the facilities. I would just put the tank supplies next to it and tell the family, hey, while you’re in there, feed the fish. Easy peasy.
Now, I don’t know how this thing works, but it said the fish don’t get flushed, so PETA should be okay with it. BTW, you can get this fab item at www.stupidiotic.com. It’s a mere $300 and cannot be giftwrapped. Darn, guess you’ll have to wrap it yourself. Hey, try TP to wrap it.
Here’s a layout I did at Crop Connection in Pearl, MS in January 2007 — Countdown to Noon at the Zoo. It was the Audubon Zoo in New Orleans’ family New Year’s Eve celebration and if you’re ever in New Orleans for Ney Year’s with kids, you should go. There were party hats, a chocolate milk toast, and music. Oh, and there are animals at the zoo, too. January is a great time for the zoo because it’s usually a good temperature, the animals are happy it’s not hot, and the kids don’t get hot and ask for snowballs and icecream every 20 minutes. And avoid the bird area — it smells seriously bad and it creeps me out, but then again, I don’t like birds. The bears are awesome, the big cats, and the elephants are the best. Whatever you do, don’t go to any zoo during elephant mating season. We made that mistake in Calgary and that’s an image burned forever in my mind. I can’t write about it here, it’s too disgusting for words. Personally, I don’t want to see any animal mate, but good grief — the largest land animal — I can’t say any more, I just got a sick feeling and I want to think about something good like Katie’s birthday cake all lonely in the fridge.
We have a family living in our mailbox, a bird family. I noticed a bird bringing pinestraw in the newspaper slot of our mailbox a while back, but didn’t think anything of it. Fast-forward a few weeks and Katie reaches in there and pulls out eggs, which she dropped in the street. I was heart-sick for the mama bird. Fast forward another couple weeks and Scott hears chirping coming from the mailbox. Lo and behold, there are at least 2 baby birds. Here are pics.
Do you see the itty bitty beak in the back? That’s one of our babies. You can’t see the other ones. I think there are three. Most of my friends know I rather dislike birds in general (since the blue parrots flew at my head at the Aquarium and tried to kill me 12 years ago and the seagull flew in my car at the service station in Brunswick), but this is just sweet. I hope they learn to fly before a big storm enters the gulf, because we’d have to take the baby birds with us for our evacuation vacation. I should write a song called “Evacuation Vacation.” Shreveport is always our evacuation vacation destination, in case you’re wondering.
I went to Target to pick up prescriptions and a few necessities tonight and the conversation I picked up on in the deodorant aisle was hilarious. Apparently one of three 20-somethings lost a bet and had to wax something. The one guy was trying to pick the waxing product he figured would cause the least amount of pain. I almost offered advice, but the guy was already freaking out and embarrassed.
If I had gone to Target this afternoon when my prescription was ready I’m sure I would have missed out on my laugh of the day from 20 year-olds. It’s so fun to be a thirtysomething mom.
Uploaded some of my faves last night and came across Come on Feel the Lemonheads and it’s one y’all need to get. And no, it’s not on iTunes either. The Lemonheads are still around and are touring Europe right now, they’re playing in Croatia on July 4th, if I have any readers there. Anyway, Come on Feel the Lemonheads is my favorite album by Evan Dando & company and it’s supergood. Julianna Hatfield is on backing vocals and she’s great on “Dawn Can’t Decide” and “I’ll Do it Anyway.” You can’t beat “Style” for a great stoner song. I’ve never done a drug or drank (unless you count chocolate and coffee), but that song is pretty cool. Here’s a lyric: “Don’t wanna get high/I don’t wanna get high/But I don’t wanna not get high/And I don’t wanna not get stoned.” Now really, and as a grammar freak, that’s just crazy town.
You can get other Lemonheads songs on iTunes and if you’re not a fan now, just listen to “It’s a Shame About Ray” and their version of “Mrs. Robinson.” Good stuff. Quintessential alternative ’90s fare. More tunes next Tuesday and I promise a layout tomorrow. Be good.
