Wonder Woman is getting a reboot on NBC, and while I am all for that in theory — not so much from the set photos. 

The new Wonder Woman looks perfectly fine standing still in her costume.

But once she's in motion, it's a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen.

I still think the costume looks cheap and not glamorous at all. The bustier  looks too plasticky and not worthy Amazon Princess at all. You all know what I'm talking about — I know my Wonder Woman (and I had the Underoos as a kid and made the bracelets out of aluminum foil). I can't help but think Lynda Carter saw this and said "bitch, please."

In case you've forgotten, this is how it's done.

And it's done in heels.

I came across another installment of "My Drunk Kitchen" for you. This time Hannah makes mac and cheese. 

 

*I'm taking the song challenge to mean "of all time," not genre-specific. Any of these songs are subject to change at any time.

I've been waiting for an opportunity to post this song and honestly, I should post this once a week because HELL IF IT ISN'T AWESOME. I'm going to try to contain my excitement and not use all caps for this post, but I FREAKING LOVE THIS SONG. In fact, I may have to change my ringtone to this one because THE MEN ALL PAUSE, BABY. First, a little history: back in 1986 I bought a tape by Klymaxx for the song "I Miss You" and was blown away by the nerve of this group. Klymaxx was like the female version of Morris Day and The Time. FOR REAL. They had attitude and plenty of it. Best lines of the song "‘cause they all loved me/Slap me, no, somebody slap me/‘cause I know I'm lookin' good/I'm givin' attitude all over the room/People are starin' at me/I-I-I just look too good for these people."

And I think you know that's how I feel every time I walk into a room. 

We're not even going to talk about the fact that I was 12 buying a tape by a group called Klymaxx. 

"The Men All Pause"

 

"I love ya, I love ya all, but I got to go."

I have a perfectly normal Facebook profile pic, which my mom hates. By the way, I am a grown ass woman and I stopped caring what my mom thought about my hair in 1990something when I dyed it black.

My current pic is to the right. Normal enough, right?

For some reason people are very vocal about my profile pics, which are all pretty normal. Curly hair, straight hair, flowers in my hair, whatev.

Since my mom hates the flower, I decided to make hair accessories with junk lying around the house to see if I could come up with anything more "me."

I may or may not have had a beverage while using the hot glue gun — but hey — no injuries.

Maybe that's the secret to the hot glue gun — use while drinking. Be sure and check out my new book Tipsy Crafting in stores never. 

 

 

I don't know what I'm doing with my mouth here, but I kind of like the bow tie pasta hair clip.

 

The hotel room key card is a good look. You'll never get locked out again.

 

Here's looking at you, Mom.

 

Is that Mignon Faget? Why yes, it is.

 

 My Little Pony, My Little Pony, you're sitting on top of my head like a fool.
 

This hair clippie is a two dollar bill. And I'm not just whistlin' "Dixie." It will be $2 in my Etsy store.*

 

It's not often that one finds a lipstick that matches her hair color. Cinnamon Toast by L'Oreal is not only my winter lipstick, it's the hair clippie that does double duty and Lord knows I love a multitasker. 

 

*I don't have an Etsy store. This kind of whimsicle f#ckery** is only found in the depths of my junk drawer and mind. 

**Whimsicle f#ckery is the phrase of the genius behind Regretsy.com, not me — but I love the phrase.

FAO Schwarz has a Muppet builder where you can have your own Muppet made for a mere $129.99. 

People of the interwebs, I give you Kerry the Muppet.

*I'm taking the song challenge to mean "of all time," not genre-specific. Any of these songs are subject to change at any time.

I hate lots of bands. Like really hate. I loathe heavy metal and hair bands from the '80s. One band I hate in particular is AC/DC. Here's the song I hate the most, which I will not name because that's how much I hate it. Let's see how many times I can write HATE. I hate their look, their sound, their lyrics, and the way the schoolboy freakazoid acts on stage. I don't get it and I don't care. Gross.

 

*I'm taking the song challenge to mean "of all time," not genre-specific. Any of these songs are subject to change at any time.

Everyone knew I was picking The Beatles, right? Just wanted to be clear on that. Here is "Things We Said Today."

 

*I'm going taking the song challenge to mean "of all time," not genre-specific. Any of these songs are subject to change at any time.

I can't fall asleep to music. I've never really been able to. When I've tried to fall asleep with headphones on I've found things I hadn't heard in songs before and that keeps me up. So, I'm posting a sleepy song instead. "You Are the Everything" mentions drifting off to sleep; it's one of my favorite R.E.M. songs. I've adored it from the first time I heard it. It's dreamy and beautiful. Enjoy.

 

 

*I'm going taking the song challenge to mean "of all time," not genre-specific. Any of these songs are subject to change at any time.

I don't dance. Well, not in public. If I were going to dance it would be to "The Bird" by Morris Day and The Time because this dance ain't for everybody, just the sexy people.

 

Tomorrow Prof. Dr. Hilljary and I are going to P.F. Chang's and shopping in Baton Rouge. I will be wearing my new flip flops with bows and rhinestones because Wednesdays call for that sort of thing. 

I haven't shopped in a while. At least not in a physical store. 

I may buy new earrings.

It is unnerving that I have lost an earring that are pretty much my "everyday" earrings. This ranks high on my aggravation scale because I do not lose things. 

Really.

There is a new thing — Christian pole dancing. It's called Pole Fitness for Jesus. This is totally how I'm explaining my ankle injury to people.

I woke up with what feels like a sprained ankle. I must have been pole dancing in my sleep. It hurts.

What if I really have been sleepwalking and pole dancing in my sleep? I may have to put up security cameras to get to the bottom of this.

My mom wrote "what's with the hair?" on my Facebook wall the other day. I called her to find out what she was talking about and she said she likes it better curly and asked what the "doodad" was in my hair. I like hair clippies with flowers on them. I've decided to make hair clippies and headbands with various things on them just to aggravate the mom. As soon as I get more glue sticks I will begin this project. 

Of course, all hair clippy inspiration comes from Helen Hunt in the classic film Girls Just Want to Have Fun. Here's a pic to refresh your memory.

I promise you I will be wearing something similar in a pic on this very blog in the next day or two. 

No, I'm not kidding. There is stuff around here I'm just dying to glue to a headband. In fact, I may make my friends clippies as gifts. I think JBC may need a bowtie pasta clippy. Stacy needs a beer can headband. Megan is getting Germ-X clippy. Hilljary is getting chopsticks that I will pocket from P.F. Chang's tomorrow. 

I'm keeping the dinosaur clippies.

I'm going to confess something. Sometimes when the children have homework that requires them to read passages aloud, I want to run from the room. Reading aloud and speaking in public doesn't bother me in the least, but listening to anyone read is torture. I do not know why I'm like this, just add it to my lengthy list of neuroses.  

If I had a copy of the DSM-IV I'd make that into a hair clippy. Might be heavy though. 

If you don't know what that means, don't worry about it.

For some reason I forgot to so a ScrapFest! wrap-up for the blog, but you should know that weirdness prevailed. I will try to write a wrap-up this week or sometime in the near future. Also, people are crazy.

Also, people told me I was "as cute as a button" and that made me want to throw up and I hate throwing up. Really, I tried to be bulimic once and I couldn't do it. That was a long time ago. 

Who wants cheesecake?