hire Eric

This is by far the best résumé I have ever seen. And when I say that, what I mean is, it may be better than mine.

TMUSt                                                                                                                                                     from the Daily What

Of course, my résumé says:

Kinda clairvoyant

Can sing "Islands in the Stream" or "Copacabana" on demand

Once saw Bobby McFerrin on a plane

Practically unbeatable at Trivial Pursuit

Can make a 4 course meal out ingredients from Walgreens

Speaks fluent sarcasm

Professional iTunes playlist maker

Hiring a redhead falls under the Equal Opportunity law, so everyone wins!

Almost ambidextrous 

Can write haiku

Favorite Beatle is Paul

Hates German Sheperds (and all dogs that look like wolves) and owls

Former shoplifting champion (1991)

Brings a lot to the party.

 

random thursday thoughts

Today is pretty random.

Prof. Dr. Hiljary texted me that it was on CNN that Zsa Zsa Gabor is going to be a mom at 94 according to her husband. Now, far be it from me to tell anyone what they can or can't do, but Zsa Zsa is 94. She just had a leg amputated. Plus, she's 94. According to CNN the husband said "I'm a retired guy, I can take care of it." 

In other news, there's a new serial killer on the loose in New York. Bet they blame it on Dexter.

In unrelated news, I could kill the bird making the "fleeeeep" noise outside. It's not a "tweet," it's definitely a "fleeeeep" and very high pitched, very annoying. Dumb bird. I was watching the birds this morning in my neighbor's tree — they all (like a flock of 50) flew out of the tree like it was on fire, then around the tree before settling back into the tree. All of them. What makes birds do that? Does one bird tweet "fire!" and they all fly out? Did they do that kind of stuff on the ground when they were dinosaurs?

These are questions I have when I haven't left the house all day.

Also, I would like a Frosty.

On Community tonight, one of the characters developed a theorem to prove who really was the boss on Who's the Boss? Brilliant. Also brilliant — there was an all-black production of Fiddler on the Roof called "Fiddla Please". If you're not watching this show, you should. 

I'm getting my hair colored tomorrow. I really would like a streak of some sort for fun, but I think streaks look weird in curly hair. 

At Stein Mart the other day I found two dresses I liked, but they were both in yellow. What's up with that? Megan asked why I couldn't wear yellow, so I held one of the dresses up and she said "yeah, you look jaundiced." So, there's that.

Grey's Anatomy is a repeat tonight, so you're getting a blog post. Yippee!

Did I tell y'all that when I had my hair colored last time that I also had my eyebrows dyed? It didn't take. I've had my eyebrows dyed dozens of times, but now they don't take. Further proof that I am falling apart. FALLING APART.

Last night I dreamed I was given an honorary doctorate from some school I didn't recognize. Also dreamed I was having my legs waxed and had to leave while they were half done and I was wearing a dress I've been looking at on lanebryant.com. Is that a sign that I should get the dress or not?

Hey, on the upside — the repeats of Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice mean that I get to watch my Alec Baldwin on 30 Rock now instead of on the dvr. 

At the sushi restaurant on Monday, I noticed for the first time that on the menu there is a "Heart Attack Roll" made with (among other things) bacon. On another note, the "Big Mac Roll" has no meat or bread. Weird. I've had a Big Mac once in my life because I ordered the wrong number on the McDonald's menu. This was on the way home from Sesame Street Live in 2004. I blame Elmo.

 

peanutweeter

So, there is a site I need to tell y'all about so you can laugh like I did earlier. It's peanutweeter — they take Peanuts cartoons and add random tweets to them. Here are a few of my favorites. 

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If you didn't read Madeline as a kid, the last one may not be funny to you, but I love envisioning that scene. Hilarious. 

30 day song challenge -day 30 – your favorite song at this time last year

*I'm taking the song challenge to mean "of all time," not genre-specific. Any of these songs are subject to change at any time. 

 

It's hard for me to think of what my favorite song was last spring, but I think it was "40 Dogs (Romeo and Juliet)" by Bob Schneider. The album Lovely Creatures came out before then, but I didn't get it until about a year ago after my friend Will told me about it. I had never heard of Schneider, but after listening to him, I think he's extremely talented and I love this song. 

 

And so that concludes the 30 Day Song Challenge. What did you think? 

30 day song challenge – day 29 – a song from your childhood

*I'm taking the song challenge to mean "of all time," not genre-specific. Any of these songs are subject to change at any time. 

 

No question about it – "Islands in the Stream" is the song of my childhood. I unashamedly love this song. And if it comes on in a store I will sing out loud (as the people of Michael's know). I have sung this with our massage therapist at ScrapFest! because I cannot resist a Kenny and Dolly duet. I know this may be shocking to some of you, but it's Kenny and Dolly for crying out loud. By the way, when I was a kid, I thought they were married because they talked about being lovers. You did to, right? Say you did, don't make me feel stupid.

"I Love Rock 'n Roll" may be the first record I bought with my own cash money (at 6), but "Islands in the Stream" is my jam.

  

You were singing along too, weren't you?

30 day song challenge – day 28 – a song that makes you feel guilty

*I'm taking the song challenge to mean "of all time," not genre-specific. Any of these songs are subject to change at any time. 

 

Well, I'm at a loss for this one because I don't know how a song can make one feel guilty. I also don't really believe in guilt, but that is a topic for another day. So, I don't know what to post. A song with lots of cursing? Something by a boy band? Something similar to the feeling of guilt? Remorse? Regret? Maybe. The song "Photograph" by Ringo Starr has always struck me as a regretful but beautiful song. 

 

30 day song challenge – day 27 – a song that you wish you could play

*I'm taking the song challenge to mean "of all time," not genre-specific. Any of these songs are subject to change at any time. 

 

Everyone knows that I love my Paul McCartney. "Junk"  was written while McCartney was still with the Beatles, but it failed to make it to an album. Luckily, it is on his first solo album, McCartney, recorded in 1970. McCartney is a wonderful stripped-down album that I love and own on vinyl as well the magic digital version. If you've never heard it, you should. Anyvinyl, "Junk" is a lovely song that I sang to all three of my babies as a lullaby. I'm not sure why I picked this song just over ten years ago to sing to the oldest, but it fit and it worked with all three. "Singalong Junk" was performed on Unplugged years ago, but it just didn't do it for me — I love the music and the words. If I could play a song, this is one I would pick. 

 

 

morons and other thoughts

I am at the park. The asshole in the picture is playing "Mac the Knife" on his laptop. I honestly do not know what is wrong with people. I am not a completely unreasonable person, but things annoy the hell out of me.

Also, a man and his son are trying to fly a kite and it is far too windy. Moron.

Some kid threw sand into the air. Asshole kid.

A woman is wearing a halter top with a regular bra. Tacky moron.

Guy got the kite stuck in a tree. Genius.

morons and other thoughts