Now, I know for most of these we will have to alter the space/time continuum (wow, did you see me spell that? lookout national spelling bee peeps) for me to see these bands in concert.
Let's get to it.
1. Ben Folds – tour, Ben, tour.
2. The Beatles – specifically the Rooftop Concert. Where is my DeLorean when I need it?
3. Aretha Franklin – it's okay, I know it's not going to happen because she's cancelled on me three times in the past 12 or so years. Yes, I take it personally.
4. REM. Let's have a moment of silence for this one.
Man, this is a hard one because I love the music and have committed way too many lyrics to memory.
1. from "Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk" by Rufus Wainwright: "I'm just a little bit heiress, a little bit Irish/ a little bit tower of Pisa whenever I see you/so please be kind if I'm a mess"
2. from "Goodnight Elizabeth" by Counting Crows: "we couldn't all be cowboys/some of us are clowns/and some of us are dancers on the midway/we roam from town to town/I hope that everybody can find a little flame me, I say my prayers/then i just light myself on fire/and I walk out on the wire once again"
3. out of all The Beatles songs, this one gets stuck in my head ALL THE TIME, so let's have "She Came in Though the Bathroom Window" – "And so I quit the police department/And got myself a steady job/And though she tried her best to help me/She could steal but she could not rob." It also has the perfect McCartney "oooo–" and an "oh yeah" at the end. Love that. What? You need a refresher? Well, ok.
4. from "Pretty in Pink" by The Psychedelic Furs: "She doesn't have anything you want to steal/Well, nothing you can touch"
5. every word of "You Are the Everything" by REM. Perfect song.
Sometimes I feel like I can't even sing (say, say, the light) I'm very scared for this world I'm very scared for me Eviscerate your memory Here's a scene You're in the back seat laying down The windows wrap around To sound of the travel and the engine All you hear is time stand still in travel and feel such peace and absolute The stillness still that doesn't end But slowly drifts into sleep The stars are the greatest thing you've ever seen And they're there for you For you alone you are the everything
I think about this world a lot and I cry And I've seen the films and the eyes But I'm in this kitchen Everything is beautiful And she is so beautiful She is so young and old I look at her and I see the beauty Of the light of music The voices talking somewhere in the house Late spring and you're drifting off to sleep With your teeth in your mouth You are here with me You are here with me You have been here and you are everything
2. Ina Garten – we could hang out and cook. Plus, both our husbands work out of town during the week, so we'd keep each other company.
3. Jimmy Fallon – for real, Jimmy. Let's hang.
4. Melissa McCarthy – I don't know if the world is ready for two chubby bffs. If you haven't seen this video of her talking about Spanx on Ellen, watch it right now. It's like she and I are sisters.
5. Dolly Parton – I've loved her in every interview I've seen and I think she would be bunches of fun. Plus, I could try on all her wigs.
1. Makeup Forever Aqua Waterproof Eyeliner in dark brown. I only wear dark brown eyeliner because black makes me look like Morticia. Makeup Forever made this eyeliner originally for synchronized swimmers, so you know it lasts through a hot Louisiana summer day.
2. L'Oreal Colour Riche Lipstick in cinnamon toast. It's the perfect reddish-brown for fall and winter pale girls like myself. Goes with my coloring.
3. Papier Poudre Oil Blotting Papers. I have oily skin. These French oil blotting papers take the oil off my face and leave a hint of powder behind. They come in a little booklet that fits in my makeup bag. I don't go anywhere without them.
4. Shu Uemura Eyelash Curler. This one is a must. It's the only eyelash curler that has a bouncy rubber piece that really curls your lashes and doesn't bend them into a rubber crease. Do you know what this means? Girls, you can use this curler after you've applied mascara if you need to. You have to try this curler.
5. LORAC Brow Penci in auburn (I think). This pencil is creamy and only goes on your brows, not your skin, which is essential for not looking like Groucho Marx. It also has a brush on the other end of the pencil, so there is no need for another tool. Love.
It should not surprise you that I have opinions on this.
1. camo on people who are not hunting. This is not "a look".
2. trucker hats. My father is a truck driver. Even he does not wear these.
3. jeggings. For the love of denim, make it stop.
4. Beiber hair.
5. hobo facial hair/old dead president beards/the Grizzly Adams. There is a strange trend of men wearing facial hair that is sloppy and unkempt. I have nothing against a well-trimmed goatee or Tom Selleck's mustache, but guys – y'all have to shave. If you look like any of the men below, get thee to a barber before I come after you with a razor.
(and this is the Pink Flamingo Swatch Watch I had in 1987)
3. cute shoes (these are my Guess flip flops that I wore all summer).
4. cute bags (this is my embroidered Brighton slouch – I've had it for probably three years and got it out to use last week).
5. scarves. I love scarves and I have lots of them, but this is the only pic I had wearing one – like 3 years ago, New Year's Eve at my grandfather's house (that's why I'm wearing a paper top hat). If you can believe it, the picture I took of myself last week at Red Door Interiors out does this one and I'm going to use it as my Facebook pic next month. Such a dork.
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