In this installment of Things I Didn't Get For My Birthday, I present the Goop Tee.

For only $90 you can buy this t-shirt made exclusively for Gwyneth Paltrow's website that is sized O/S. For those of you who do not know, that is ONE SIZE. In this case, O/S fits 0-8, which is hardly anyone. 

In this installment of Things I Didn't Get For My Birthday, I present the swimmable Mermaid Tail on Etsy.

For only $250, I could be a mermaid, people. Save up, this will be on my Christmas list.