Author: Kerry Faler

I collect typewriters in the 21st century. I’m an enigma that way.

2.196/365: lady like

I stumbled on to the singer/songwriter Ingrid Andress in the Today Show this morning. She was introduced as being the next big country star. I was ready to change the channel until I heard her sing. She has a great voice and plays piano. She’s not a country singer — she’s just good. That’s the thing with lumping people into genres, it backfires. I would never had listened to this woman had I gotten to the remote faster.

I’ll post the song from the Today Show later, but here’s my favorite so far, “Lady Like.”

2.194/365: being mean

I was going to write about our vacation today, maybe I will tomorrow. Today and yesterday I’ve come across so much meanness that I wasn’t able to write cute things. Everyday there’s something new to be enraged about and it gets me riled up like most people who read as much as I do. Yesterday my husband and I made a pact not to discuss politics anymore. It’s a good feeling. Not bringing that into our home is a good thing. All of the political things ultimately are temporary (provided certain missiles aren’t fired) and can be undone.

Being mean is boring. There is no win. It only begets meanness. It adds fuel to the fire. It keeps it lit to burn the next day. It is bad for you. It’s bad for everyone around you. Turn off the news, logout of Twitter, resist the urge to check an opinion site.

To escape all things political and to kill time, I read And Then She Was Gone by Lisa Jewell in a little over a day this past weekend. It was my kind of story. A little Gone Girl, a little What Alice Forgot. Give me the complicated murder-missing-mystery-thriller any day. A page turner. Give me a reason to turn the page. A little uncomfortable. People being mean to each other, but not to you. And you can always put a book down.

It seems like the Big Little Lies sub Reddit is the only place where no one is mean these days. Those are my people. And the character Renata (the amazing Laura Dern)yelling different variations of the F word repeatedly at her terrible idiot husband is great to watch. And Celeste (Nicole Kidman) bitch slapping Meryl Streep (as her terrible mother-in-law) is a fun thrill — I’ve never wanted to slap my MIL (ever), but I think we all want to slap people sometimes.

So, maybe not talking about politics and reading about mean people who can’t hurt you is the way to go. Maybe watching a show for escape and laughing about it with like-minded weirdos is the way to go. Maybe.

1.189/365: 45 Things I Know for Sure

It’s my 45th birthday and in my birthday I post the things I know for sure. Some are fun, some are more serious and on the advice for life side. I’m not Oprah, but I have ideas.

Here’s to 45.

  1. Stroopwaffle is a funny word.

2. Airplane seats should fold up like movie theater seats. Serious, Boeing — free idea. Get on it.

3. TSA pat-downs aren’t the fun experience you would expect.

4. When a driver asks if you’d like music on, it will never be any type of music you’d ever pick in 42 million years.

5. Restaurants should never assume you want lemon.

6. Anklets are trashy.

When in doubt, eat the cheesecake.

8. Unless you live on a coast, you do not need a palm tree in your yard.

9. Say no to drugs. Unless it’s some drugs. I’m not naming which. You read this blog.

10. Full-service gas stations need to make a comeback. I’ve only been saying this for 25 years.

11. If your catamaran Captain doesn’t say “arrrr” like a pirate he’s not a real captain.

12. If a child calls a seagull a “seagle,” don’t correct them because it’s hysterical. My daughter did that forever.

13. If you can trick a person who says they don’t like seafood to eat calamari by saying it’s onion rings, do it. Don’t be afraid that they might hit you.

14. Call that person if they have a major life change. You will be glad you did and they will most likely be glad too.

15. We should all take better care of ourselves. Physical health and mental health.

16. Caffeine is good.

17. Learn things. Everyone can learn new things.

18. Watch documentaries. I watch probably two documentaries each week. That’s one way I learn things.

19. Do new things. Don’t get stuck. Stagnation is bad.

20. Ben Folds is the best musician working today. I may have said that last year. It’s on the list every year for good reason.

21. Collect something. I collect typewriters and watches. And pens and quotes and conversations.

22. Dairy is not the enemy. Red meat is not the enemy. Fat is not the enemy. Carbs are not the enemy. Find what works for your health.

23. Don’t be boring.

24. The best coffee creamer flavors are: Southern Butter Pecan, White Chocolate Mocha, Caramel Mocha, and Snickers. Peppermint Mocha, but only in winter.

25. Do the right thing. If you think you’re doing the wrong thing, I’m positive you need to evaluate your situation.

26. We all need to laugh more.

27. Have friends that make you laugh.

28. Have friends you can count on.

29. Have friends you can talk to about EVERYTHING.

30. Have a friend who will be honest with you and call you out on your bullshit.

31. You don’t have to do things you don’t want to do.

32. If you drink alcohol at all, have a signature drink. I have two: lemon drop martinis and frozen raspberry margaritas. I do not like drinks when I can taste the alcohol.

33. Don’t be afraid to dress however you want. Except if you think “your look” looks like “homeless chic.” I wear dresses almost everyday. People ask what I’m dressed up for. It’s because everyday is a special occasion. I’m not talking what I wear to the opera — everyday dresses.

34. It’s ok not to like things “everyone” else likes.

35. It’s ok to be the only person you know who likes something.

36. It’s ok to say no to people. You don’t have to have an excuse.

37. I am rewatching Suits. It’s one of the best shows on television.

38. People need to get over this “but the Little Mermaid can’t be black” shit. It’s a character. Plus, if you want to go back the original Hans Christian Andersen material, homegirl was green. Step off, beotches.

39. I still hate watermelon. To death.

40. It’s ok not to like your kids sometimes. You still love them. But you don’t have to like their attitudes and things they do. You are their parent, not their friend.

41. Every time I see a person on Facebook or Instagram say their young kid is their BFF I want to choke them. The person, not the kid. You child is your child. If your child is 30 — knock yourself out. I’m all for that.

42. Big Little Lies is a fantastic book and the HBO adaptation is phenomenal. And Adam Scott is the cutest.

43. Spend your birthday at the beach at least once.

44. Love your people hard.

45. Readers, I love you 3000.