I love the show SCHITT’S CREEK. It’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in years. The final season is airing on the Pop channel, but Indont have that, so I’ll have to wait for Netflix. Check it out for now. I’ve written about it before, but if you don’t know the show, Alexis references over the top insane situations she’s supposedly been in.

This is a fun thing. Here’s mine:

”Oh really, David. Ok, well you try being given the antidote but losing it and having to backflip hour way out of Kim Jung Un’s cocaine palace with no Yen left and 14 pesetas, David. Ugh!”

#1. Get a lion, I guess.

I do love this Instagrammer.

It’s been a few years since I’ve written about typographer and illustrator Jessica Hische and I looked her up today to see what she’s been up to, as she’s always done interesting things.

This is from her website:

In a follow up to New York Times Bestseller Tomorrow I’ll be Brave, award- winning author and illustrator Jessica Hische takes young readers on a new, extraordinary journey that encourages them to be helpful, patient, gentle, honest, generous, grateful, and above all, kind. Each small act of kindness, even those by the smallest people, helps make the world a better place.

Here are some illustrations from Tomorrow I’ll be Brave.

If you have young children, you should buy this book.

If you don’t have young children and you have a sense of humor and curse a little, you might like these prints and one pin (I do):

I love these. Jessica Hische is super talented and funny. And she belongs in the Museum of Natural Mother Fucking Awesomeness.

I usually have HGTV on during the day while I’m doing stuff (when I’m not watching true crime) and I’ve watched House Hunters forever, but I’ve noticed a trend. And I have thoughts.

When did Realtors become ”REAL-a-tors?” you can’t just throw an extra syllable up in there. This is not 14th century England.

Guy on House Hunters walked into a kitchen and said ”this is the island of my dreams!” it was a peninsula. Get it right, Sebastiann with two Ns.

Couple on Beachfront Bargain Hunt says ”you can fit a king size bed in here” in both bedrooms. No you can’t.

I’ve stayed in very condo on Beachfront Bargin Hunt. Except the one that had the washer/dryer combo with a toilet next to it.

The best episode of International House Hunters EVER was in Ireland. The buyer and her friend, looking at a house that was all cinderblock on the inside, no flooring, no plumbing roughed-in. The realtor says in EVERY room, “this could be a bedroom or an office or a bathroom.” The friend says “you could sit right there with a glass of wine, looking out the window and wondering what went wrong with your life.”

Half the women on House Hunters who go into a kitchen built before 2005 say it’s dated. Girl, change the countertops — BOOM — perfect kitchen.

Every buyer on Island Hunters complains that the tile (in Mexico) that is very of-the-area needs to be changed. You are in Mexico, don’t act like you’re expecting granite.

Stop asking if you can have a chicken coop.

Why does everyone say ”This would be a great area to entertain in?” I want one person to say ”This would be a great area for a sectional and coffee table for my laptop for most nights when I’m in my PJs by seven eating caramel corn out of the giant Christmas tin, watching Forensic Files and posting memes on Facebook.”

Every buyer on International House Hunters says ”There’s a washer, but no dryer/the closets are small/I wish the ceiling was higher/is this near City Centre?/oh, cobblestone.”

Beachfront Bargain Hunt’s buyers are always surprised one of the condos/homes isn’t ON the beach. Every episode.

I’ve said this before, but more and more, couples have $900,000 budget and the woman is a professional pre-school soccer coach and the man maintains the Croatian Olympic Luge team’s Twitter account. Or the man is wrist watch model and the woman names heirloom organic turkeys.

A friend posted this on the Facebooks and I thought it would make a fun blog post.

50 Things You’ve Never Been Asked

1. What is the color of your toothbrush? Pink Hell Kitty

2. Name someone who made you smile today? Scott

3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Sleeping

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Putting on makeup

5. What is your favorite candy bar? Snickers

6. Have you ever been to a strip club? No

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? ”thank you, bye-bye.”

8. What is your favorite ice cream? Mint chocolate chip

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Coffee

10. Do you love your wallet? Yes

11. What was the last thing you ate? Bread

12. Did you buy any new clothes this weekend? No

13. The last sporting event you watched? LSU Football Game

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Caramel

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? Scott

16. Ever go camping? No. And I don’t plant to.

17. Do you take vitamins daily? Yes

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? Not every

19. Do you have a tan? Never

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? No

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? Yes. And it’s Coke.

22. What did your last text say? ”ok”

23. What are you doing tomorrow? No idea. Drinking coffee is a definite.

24. What terrifies you? Losing a child, my husband.

25. Ever ridden in an ambulance? Yep

26. How many surgeries have you had? 5ish

27. What do you think of when you’re sitting on the potty? ”I need to wash to those clothes.”

28. Favorite soda? It’s COKE. In the south, we say Coke

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive they? Only drive-thru.

30. What is your favorite number? 7

31. Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone? Dana

32. Any plans for today? Right now? I’m going to make KING Ranch Chicken Casserole. That’s exciting.

33. How many states have you lived in? 3, plus Canada

34. Biggest annoyance? Bitches and hos

35. Last song listened to? ”Antmusic” by Adam and the Ants

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? No

37. Do you have a maid service when you clean house? No

38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? In summer, my Guess Tutu flip flops otherwise, my orange patent leather Yosi Samara ballet flats.

39. Are you jealous of anyone? Nope

40. Is anyone jealous of you? no clue

41. Do you love someone? Yes

42. Do any of your friends have children? Yes

43. What do you usually do during the day? Things around the house, talk to a friend, watch tv, run errands.

44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now? I don’t hate anyone. I really have dislike a couple of people.

45. What color is your watch? Pink

46. What color is your car? Kodiak Brown

47. How many kids do you want? 3 is enough

48. How many tattoos do you have? 1

49. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Yes

50. How did you get your worst scars? You can’t see them.

How much would I love going to this pen bar?

I don’t say this enough: I love George Wallace. He is a damn national treasure.