The husband and I watch lots of movies. We don’t go to the theater as much as we’d like because usually it would mean taking the teenagers. It costs the same price to feed a small village of a third world country for five years as for a family of five to go to the movies in America.
And that’s WITH sharing a drink.
So, we watch movies on the Netflix, the Amazon of the Prime, the HBO, and the On Demand. As with most anything with me, there are rules. Here are my movie watching rules.
Kerry’s Movie Watching Rules
- Ignore my movie-watching alter ego that sounds a little like Madea and a little like Tina Turner in What’s Love Got to Do With It.
- Ignore all of the times I say “nuh uh.”
- Ignore all of the times I say “oh hell naw.”
- I do not need help if I throw my hands in the air.
- Do not ask me what just happened. You should have been paying attention.
- Answer me when I ask what just happened because you should have been paying attention when I wasn’t.
- I will not turn up the volume. Listen harder.
- If you get up to get something, you’re obligated to get something for me too.
- If I ask you why someone did something, you need to tell me.
- If we’re watching a superhero movie, understand that I get way too involved and I may hit you in the arm from time to time if something cool happens.
- If I hit you don’t act like a baby. It wasn’t that hard.
- If we’re watching a movie with Wonder Woman, understand that I have an almost supernatural link to WW and I will have all the emotions while watching it.
- Do not ask if I’m alright whilst crying during Wonder Woman, You’ve Got Mail, Steel Magnolias, Beaches, Toy Story 2, Love Actually (every single time), or Good Will Hunting. I’m alright, my cold black heart is just leaking.
- Do not tell me to open my eyes if something is scary. Yes, I know it’s just a movie.
- Don’t complain that I know all the dialogue.
- Don’t tell me to stop quoting The Godfather.
- Never ask if I want to watch The Phantom Menace.
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