I wonder how many of my Dear Readers will get the title reference.
So, on my way to and from Shreveport this week, I used Waze for my GPS. I used to Google Maps, but ended up in a Houston hood twice after leaving a doctor’s office across town.
Waze is handy. For those of you not in the know, it’s s GPS app, but users can report road hazards, police presence, accidents, etc. It’s superfantastic for decent-sized towns and cities. Not so much for the country roads and highways of East Texas.
Now, I made sure the following were not options to report before I blogged.
- Cow crossing
- Tractor driving on half of my lane of the two-lane highway.
- Rural mail truck
- Drivers in front of you who suddenly pull onto the side of the road for 500 honey and/or fruit stands.
- All the roadkill
- Abandoned gas stations when you could use some gas. And an Icee.
- Elderly people at the end of their rural driveway sitting in lawn chairs for Lawd knows why.
- Something called “traffic pattern changes ahead” sign. No idea what that means.
These are also why I could not live in the country or a small town.
Yesterday I met my dad for breakfast (French toast, baby) and I got on the road with trusty Waze. First, I hit up the Sonic next to the truck stop before the highway for an iced tea (EZ ice), then went to the truck stop and paid inside. I noticed a homeless man holding a sign saying “Arkansas?” with a question mark. I drove off wondering if he wanted to go to Arkansas or if he wanted an opinion on Arkansas. It’s an alright state, I suppose. We vacationed in an Arkansas state park when I was a kid. It was ok.
10 minutes down the highway I looked at my gas gauge and thought “well, I didn’t get much gas.” No, genius, you didn’t get any gas.” Waze does not tell you that you forgot to pump your gas. 10 minutes later I was back pumping my gas. As I left AGAIN, I saw the homeless man. This time he had acquired a dog. Not just a dog, but a German Shepherd wearing a hoodie. I’m not sure what good a hoodie is to a dog because they can’t put the hoodie on with their paws. Plus, they have fur. And where did the man get the dog in 20 minutes? Did he find the dog or did the dog find him? And what if he doesn’t want to go to Arkansas?
The song today is “Driving on 9” by The Breeders because Kim Deal is the woman and also, their song “Cannonball” is one of my theme songs (but that’s another post).
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