2/365: And call it a new year’s resolution, yeah, yeah, yeah

This is Otis, I love Otis.

I don’t make resolutions, but let’s do this thing.

1. As usual: do not pity fools.
2. Get “killed” on Criminal Minds.
3. Don’t say “just.”
4. Start a change.org petition to get rid of the spokesowls on commercials.
5. And the Charmin bears.
6. Write more.
7. Stop over analyzing.
8. When people ask “why are you so dressed up?” answer: why are you wearing pajamas?
9. Get the Olympic committee to approve Extreme Netflix Binge Watching as a sport.
10. Find a similar cardigan to the one Molly Ringwald wore in Pretty in Pink.
11. Tell people exactly what I think in certain situations without sugar coating everydamnthing.
12. Learn to give up on people when I need to.
13. Find the clip of the sugar glider jumping on Martha’s head on the old Martha Stewart Living Show (because it’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life).
14. Make art.
15. Learn the difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.