live blogging the Project Runway premier

Just decided to live blog. 

9:03 — girl just said she doesn't design "plus size," she calls it "plus sexy!"  HELL YEAH!

9:05 — South Carolina girl just said "if you were a woodland fairy you would wear one of my dresses."  Um, okay.

9:06 — it's so good to see Tim and Heidi again! 

9:07 — I like this Louis Black chick from Dallas.  Blond girl Althea Harper is young.  I like the cute dark-haired boy.  Can't remember his name.  Champagne for everyone!

9:09 — they're on the red carpet at the Emmy's.  Cool.  They're creating a red carpet look that represents their point of view for the first challenge.  Go designers!

9:10 — it's a 2 day challenge.  I love my Tim Gunn.  Christopher Straub is my dark-haired boy.  I like his sketches.  Ari Fish is the funky chick for this season and she doesn't sketch.  WTF.  Somewhere Robert Best is rolling his eyes.

9:12 — it's shopping at MOOD! 

9:13 — Ra'mon (with the comma to the top) just almost cried talking about design.  Oh dear.  Okay,  I have 2 fave boy designers already — Michael Hall and Christopher.  Johnny is a recovering meth addict.  I think he's going to drop out, y'all.  Oh, he's crying.

9:15 — commercial.  Had to check Facebook.  Y'all, I hope this is a good PR season.  I just can't take bland after a Runway-less spring and summer.  I want to hear Nina Garcia say "it's just aesthetically not pleasing!" and Michael Kors say "I feel like the pope at a strip club!"  The Runway quotes are my fave.  I only wish there were more occasions to say "that crotch is insane!"

9:19 — that was a long ass commercial.  Johnny is talking to Tim.  Tim is concerned.  Johnny feels emotionally obliterated.  Honey, I've been that way every day this week and I'm not a recovering meth addict.  I SO need a Tim Gunn in my life.  Okay, I kinda have one, but that's another post I'll never write.

9:21 — my boy Christopher has never heard of smocking.  Poor Christopher.  OH DEAR.  Tim said if his dress isn't styled correctly it could go "cruise line cocktail waitress."

9:23 — I do not get Michael? Mitchell's dress.  Victorian — eh.

9:24 — here come the skinny models!

9:25 — Michael/Mitchell's dress is the wrong size for his model.  The plus sexy designer's name is Qristal.  For realz.  I'm changing my name. 

9:25 — commercial.  Okay, I'm armed with iced tea for the rest of the show.  I can't believe it's half over!  I don't know about some of the designers.  What was the Zooey Deschanel cotton commercial about?  Say what?

9:30 — the commercials are WAY too long.  Michael/Mitchell only has pantyhose-type fabric left to work with.  Oh dear.  His model looks nekkid.  Not good.  Nina will say it's vulgar. 

9:32 — Poor little Mitchell.  I think that's his name.  Another commercial!  I can't take it!

9:34 — Okay, I'm refusing to see this "all about Steve" movie 'cause it looks stupid and I hate that "I'm Gonna Write You a Love Song" song.  Write the damn song already, don't sing about how you're going to write the song — that's not a song!  Sing the love song, not the song about writing the song — would you read a book about the author writing about the book he wants to write?  No.  Stupid.

9:37 — At least the commercial was shorter.  Guest judge is Lindsay "Firecrotch" Lohan.  She only wears leggings — is she the only guest judge they could find?

9:39 — This guy/girl, Malvin just said "every creator feels a little blah blah blah" and sounded like Frankenstein describing his monster.

9:40 — Eh.  The dresses are okay.  Ari Fish's dress is pretty horrid.  And by dress, I mean shiny silver mess.

9:43 — Qristal says Miley Cyrus would wear her dress.  Mmmkay.  Heidi says the front of the dress is a mess.  So agree.  Christopher may win!  Love that he took the hat off for the runway, hate that he has his sunglasses hanging off his shirt.  Ra'mon's dress is pretty safe.  Ari's dress is the VMA's in 2080 and it's also the dress to pick up her Nobel Peace Prize.  Mmmkay again.  Kors says it looks like a disco soccer ball.  My thoughts exactly.  It's bad.  Johnny says his dress is very liquidy.  I hate it.  The judges like it.  WHY?  It looks like a red garbage bag.  Mitchell's dress is unwearable, Nina says.  Kors says it's a kinda cool nightgown with a glass of brandy.  I can't disagree. 

9:49 — The judges deliberation — why the hell do they like Johnny's dress?  It must look way better in person.  They really like my boy Christopher's.  I really don't know who they're sending home.  So much bad.  Ari's dress had hotpants underneath. 

9:51 — I hate commercials.  Okay, so I'm thinking Ari may be auf'ed and Christopher wins. 

9:55 — This season there's a show with the models on after Runway.  I think not.

9:56 — ANNNND — Christopher wins!  Good for him.  And his blazer has a coursage.  How cute is that.  he needs to lose the sideways hat in the interview.  It's down to Mitchell and Ari.  Who's auf?  Ari is out.  Poor Ari.  I think she was a little out there for Runway.  

9:59 — Previews!  Next week they will design for a real celebrity.  It's LA, it better not be a chick from The Hills or something.  Ugh.