a new year’s eve story

New Year's Eve has always been a fun night for me.  Whether I spend the evening at a party or at home watching Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve, I enjoy it.  And for some reason it's usually a night out of some movie, only not as cleverly written. I thought I'd share one of my more memorable New Year's and an ex-boyfriend story at the same time, fun for everyone!  I looked half-heartedly for a high school photo to post with this, but couldn't find one from the year I'm writing about.  If I find one while I'm going through stuff to organize my scrap office, I'll edit and add a pic.

Once upon a bizarre New Year's Eve, when I was 17 in 1991, I was dating a guy named Judd who looked a lot like the actor Jeffery Dean Morgan on Grey's Anatomy now.  Anynatomy, we went to a party at my friend Kim's house on Cross Lake (if I recall correctly) with another friend I'll call Drama ('cause that's the best word I could pick to sum her up) and her boyfriend.  Judd had wrecked his car the day before Christmas, so we were all riding together. That year I was in a black and white phase, I remember wearing black skirt and white button-down with cuff links — I think I got that look from Sassy magazine, loved that mag. 

The night started out decent enough, then a guy a had previously had a really bad blind date with showed up and it started getting weird. Now, I'm not a social butterfly and I hate parties, so I was pretty much dragged to that one by Drama because we were both friends with Kim and Kim was super sweet and I'm a glutton for punishment.  We were there for about 45 minutes and Drama announced she and the boyfriend were headed to another party, one I hadn't been invited to.  Now, they were our ride.  Kim said not to worry, her mother was coming home at midnight and would take us home, so I said goodbye to Drama only to have more drama unfold.  Judd and I were having a pretty good time, I was trying to avoid eye contact with blind-date-guy and then some pretty unsavory characters showed up, friends of Kim's boyfriend.  It was the entire Fair Park High School football team and some guys I assumed were drug dealers, not to mention the girlfriends and a baby.  And they brought a liquor store with them.  It was then when Judd suggested we go sit on Kim's pier. Once outside, he tells me he smelled pot, and he knew the scent of pot when he smelled it.  I learned more about my boyfriend that night than I wanted to and knew he was yet another guy I'd be breaking up with soon. 

And so we sat on the pier until midnight, watched fireworks — it was actually nice (despite the fact that I was freezing to death because I had sacrificed warmth for fashion — which I did often, actually — and didn't bring a coat).  So, it was going fine, until we headed back to the house.  Most of the football team had left, the air was thick, and most everyone was drunk, a few couples were making out — the party had turned.  I remember having that awesome uncomfortable feeling that starts down deep in the pit of your stomach and works its way up to your throat and you feel like you're watching something bad unfold and you're afraid of what's next.  We sat on the sofa and blind-date-guy moves toward us and sits next to Judd.  Did I mention I hate parties?  If the first part of this story didn't give reason enough, let's seal the deal. 

Kim tells us her mom isn't coming home after all and I realize we're stuck without a way home.  At this very moment blind-date-guy begins to tell my boyfriend just how bad a date I was.  Me.  I was the bad date.  And he was talking about me like I wasn't in the room.  Nice, huh?  Turns out I was a snob.  Me.  Well, excuse me if my idea of a great date doesn't include mini-golf (really, who plays mini-golf on a first date?), hot dogs, you talking to your friend who works at the mini-golf place the entire time we were there, being referred to as a "hot piece of —" and hearing your friend ask you if the curtains match the drapes (nice), the glove box in your car falling open 20 times into my lap, dodging your hands all night, and the boom boom boom of your car's bass playing Vanilla Ice (too cold).  He was surprised when I turned my head to avoid his kiss at the end of the night, his kiss landed in my hair thanks to my cat-like reflexes.  Blind-date-guy went on and on, I think he ranted longer than our date actually lasted.  Oh, and my genius boyfriend laughs with the guy and agrees with him that I was indeed, a prude.  Awesome.

Most of the guests had gone home by one, and I was in my own personal hell, as now blind-date-guy and Judd were now BFFs, Kim was doing sexy times with her boyfriend in her bedroom, and my allergies start to go through the roof because Kim's cat has decided I'm a scratching post.  I managed to find some Benadryl as Kim was coming out of her bedroom and I told her I really had to get home.  By now my eyes were watering, I was sneezing my head off, and I was itchy all over — exactly how I like to spend my New Year's.  Kim begins asking people if they happened to be heading across town and if they could give Judd and I a ride to our homes and no one is volunteering.  Lovely.  Judd and blind-date-guy were now drinking to my prudishness and other faults, something I like to call good taste, and Judd was none too concerned about getting home.  I believe that was the moment I decided to go hide in one of the bathrooms, great idea.  A few minutes go by and Kim knocks on the door.  No, she hadn't found me a ride home, but she did have something to tell me.  I'm thinking she's going to apologize for the night turning into the party scene in Pretty in Pink when she tells me she's pregnant and starts sobbing.  

By this time the Benadryl had kicked in and I wasn't feeling much like being the sympathetic friend, but I gave it a shot.  Kim cried on my shoulder for a while and her boyfriend comes in to tell us his two buds are going to my area of town.  I'm pretty sure he referred to these characters as Ray Ray and Tiny.  This was just getting better.  My boyfriend remembered I was there and asks if I'm ready to go with these delinquents and I look at him like he's been smoking crack.  He assures me it's okay, he'd be with me, I would be safe — like he could fend off these linebackers should they choose to kill us.  At that point, I didn't think I had much of a choice because if I called my mom to pick me up she would a) kill me, b) ground me 'til summer, or c) kill me and ground me.

I got my purse and headed outside with Judd to what I was sure would be my last car ride before being murdered and thrown in the lake.  I got into the car, which looked like something out of the Pimps R Us catalog and soon we were on our way.  It seemed like the drive took forever, Tupac playing, and Judd trying to have a conversation with our chauffeurs, who, it turns out were in their 20's and were wanna-be rappers.  Eventually they pulled up to my house, Judd had been giving the directions, since he was now BFFs with Ray Ray and Tiny.  He walked me to the door, Ray Ray and Tiny yell "night, sweetie" and I'm hoping they don't commit my address to memory in case they had only offered to drive us because they were casing out our houses.  Judd told me goodnight
and happy new year and I told him happy new year and please don't call me.  

A few days later I broke up with Judd and resolved not to go anywhere with Drama again or go to another party that year.  When I recounted the story to friends they thought it was pretty funny, knowing I was Miss Goody Two Shoes and antisocial anyway.  Looking back at my 17 year-old self, it's hysterical.  At the time, it wasn't funny at all, since I was convinced I was going to be killed one way or another that night.  Later that year, Drama's mother sent her to a children's home and Kim had a baby girl she named Jade.  I lost touch with her after that, but I did attend the ghetto-fabulous baby shower, where I met Ray Ray and Tiny's baby mommas.  Good times.  If I had it all to do again, I wouldn't date guys with the first initial J, because there seemed to be a running theme there for me; and I would have stuck with Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve that night.  Dick Clark never did me wrong.

Happy New Year and say hi to Ray Ray and Tiny if you see them!