Christmas shopping guide: idea #8 — a great ending to the series

So, I wanted to end the Christmas Shopping Guide series with a bang, and peeps, I think I've found the perfect gift for the hard to buy for man in your life.  I can say with full authority, I have seen nothing like this in all my 34 years, never heard of such a thing, never dreamed I'd lay eyes on anything so beautiful and wrong at the same time.  What could I be referring to?  Feast your eyes on this catalog page:


For your final edition of the Kerry Blog Christmas Shopping Guide, I give you custom made urinal sculptures.  Yes, they are sculptures of flowers and shells. Yes, they are working urinals.  Yes, I am just as confused as when I watched "The Lake House" and couldn't figure out how the heck Sandra Bullock and Keanu got together through a magic mailbox. 

Being as how I'm a chick and know little to nothing about urinals, I assumed they were purely utilitarian.  I was obviously wrong.  I've not been in many men's restrooms, of course there was the Taco Bell men's room somewhere in Mississippi, but my knowledge on this subject is limited.  So, I turned to my hubs for his opinion, who said "I have a mixture of emotions, not one is desirable, kind of like mixing ketchup and icecream."  No, I don't know what that means, the hubs in an enigma.

Art has always spoken to me.  I love art and I understand that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Call me crazy (wouldn't be the first time), but when I think of art, bodily functions do not jump to mind.  The potty artist is is Clark Sorenson and he says the sculptures are meant to be installed and used.  Now, once upon a time, I was featured in an art show, I was on the program as an artist — at no time while viewing my work did I think, "hmm…that would look great as a toilet."  Maybe it's just me. 

So, if you're still looking for that perfect gift for that guy in your life and you'd like to have more art in your home, go ahead and order one of Clark's pieces.  Of course, it may give you nightmares to walk into your bathroom at 2 am to potty and see a giant Calla Lily jutting out of your wall.  I know that would give me nightmares.  Not to mention I wouldn't be able to take the hubs joking about watering the flowers, which I know he would do everyday. 

And just in case you're not a flower or shell person, maybe you can't get enough politics in your life — well, here's the urinal for you:

Y'all, I'm not a Republican and I find this disturbing.  Beyond disturbing.  I'm pretty sure I'll have nightmares about this.  I mean, hell, what's next — a Cheney bidet?  Ew.  No, that's just, no. 

Ok, later I'll post on something a little more congenial.  Well, maybe not congenial, but I'll aim higher for the next post (pun intended).  For now I have to get some sleep, I've spent far too much time on this post and my eyes are quite heavy. 

Remember to get your entries in for the Kerry Blog Ugly-Ass Christmas Decoration Contest by Christmas Eve.  Email pics or videos to kerrybee7@yahoo.com