6.164/365: old

McDonald’s is celebrating their purple character, Grimace’s 52nd birthday this year — they skipped the 50th, which would have been a milestone to celebrate.

It occurs to me that the young people do not know about Grimace. When I was a little, Grimace was a bad purple guy, then he became friends with Ronald McDonald and his friends. He was a purple blob. No one knew what he was supposed to be and no one cared. Now they say he may be a taste bud (gross), but I can’t find proof of that from McDonald’s. Grimace is also dumb. He’s the original Patrick the Starfish. He sounds like a big dummy.

My kids do not know who he is. He is irrelevant to pop culture unless you’re old, like me.

Grimace is old. You can put him in a Delorean, but kids don’t know what that is unless they’ve watched Back to the Future with their old parents.

Oh, and they’re promoting a purple shake, but NOTHING in the promotional materials mention the flavor. Customers say it’s a berry, one person said it’s “like the sweetest berry smoothie you could ever have.” That does not sound delicious.

Imma say it. McDonald’s, stop trying to make Grimace happen.

6.160/365: my jams

You don’t realize how old you are until you’re singing along with Wham! in the grocery store.

One summer from college, I worked at Talbots, a clothing store for stuffy middle-aged women. When I opened the store the mornings I was scheduled, I went straight to the back room and put the fun summer tape in before one of the older workers could put in the first buddy music.

I’ve always been like this.