In my case, you spend it feeling awful from eating fried stuff and cake the night before, go back to bed until 11, get up and play online while waiting for the hubs to finish the first of two phone interviews for the day. I am miserable. After deciding it would be pajama day while the hubs and kids were at the club, I changed into a pair of pjs that would be more acceptable if someone comes to the door, which will happen at some point today.
So, here I sit on the 12,776th day of my life on earth (a friend reminded me yesterday that I've been on earth for 35 years, I thought I'd break it down) in my pajamas playing on the laptop. My friends know I'm an information junkie and I've had more than one person call me to ask something while starting the conversation with "Kerry, you know everything…" to which I usually reply "yes." What I hear quite often is "how do you know that?" and "where did you find that?" if I send a link in an email or post something like the Kush on the old blog. Sometimes the answer is Kirtsy.com. Kirtsy is a site of recommended links of all kinds, categorized for your pleasure.
Today I found something I thought you might enjoy from Kirtsy. It's My Heritage's Celebrity Collage. You can upload your photo and the face recognizing software shows you what celebrities you look like. How fun is that? I know you're dying to see mine — take a look.
I can't tell you how awesome it is to find out I resemble such great leaders of the African American community, but I have to say I'm surprised. Condoleeza? Okay, sure. MLK? I don't even have a mustache. Beyonce? I have to say no, I don't think so. I'll take Shirley MacLaine, since I'm most like her character Ouiser in Steel Magnolias. ScarJo? I don't see that either. How unflattering is this photo of me? The hubs took it with my iPhone, horrible
So, I figured I should try the Celebrity Collage again, since it said "upload another photo." Here's my second try.
Okay, this pic looks more like me in my everyday life. Took it with the webcam after getting my hair cut. So, now they think I look like Drew Barrymore, Brit Brit, a Malaysian pop singer, perhaps the greatest boxer of all time, and Sally Field. I'm more confused than ever.
And after looking at a few photos of myself today, I'm convinced I need an eye lift.
So, today I'm 35 and I thought I'd make a list of things I've learned after being on Earth for 34 years. And yes, I did think about copying last year's 34 Things and adding one, but I didn't because that's the kind of blogger I am. Here we go.
For the most part, people are too worried about themselves to notice what you're worried about.
Just when you start loving a magazine it will cease publication.
Silly Putty does bad things to clothes in a dryer.
Old friends are great.
Sometimes the cat doesn't come back and that may be a good thing if the cat was psycho.
Just when you think you have someone figured out they will surprise you.
Laptops and water do not mix.
Even if you try not to get your hopes up, you can still be disappointed.
Denim jackets are always great.
Things can always get worse. Birds can lay eggs in your mailbox and then attack you.
Getting something off your chest can be freeing, but it can break your heart as well.
The great outdoors ain't always so great.
Don't die on the same day as someone more famous than you.
It's now okay to talk to yourself in the car or in public, people will think you've got one of those Bluetooth thingies.
It takes 3 people to get a properly fitting bra. Or maybe I'm just that fabulous.
Pedicures are not a luxury.
Love is a many splintered thing.
It's not always about what you think it is.
You can't "unsend" a Facebook message. For realz.
If you're tired all the time, get your blood checked.
When you cancel your Nutrisystem order, make sure you really canceled it.
No matter what the commercials say, the pre-packaged meals are not yummy.
Even when you lock the door, the middle child can find a way in.
You don't have to be friends with everyone (or if you were a biatch to me back in the day, I will ignore your Facebook friend request and you should know better).
There are no such thing as fairies and woodland creatures will not show up to clean your house even if you sing cheerily out the window.
If you sing cheerily out the windows, neighbors may look at you strangely.
The neighbors are probably weirdos anyway.
Having a superfantastic memory isn't such a good thing sometimes.
If you ignore the mailbox because of the attack birds guarding it, then the terrorists have won.
Give people nicknames, it's simple and makes life fun.
Ruffle a few feathers. Ruffles are in this year.
A new purse can cheer you up. Especially if it has stripes and a matching wallet.
When your parents told you your childhood pet went to live on a farm they were big fat lying liars who lie.
Children do not know what "sleep in" means.
If all else fails, the Hoff makes everything better. Click to Hoffify.
It's July and you know what that means. That's right, it's birthday month. Everyone knows I celebrate my birthday all month, but today it's about birthday boy Ringo Starr.
You know Ringo as The Beatles' drummer, who Paul McCartney has said is the most consistent drummer he's ever worked with and I think he's pretty underrated as a musician. Ringo's played with some greats in music. His Wikipedia entry on who he's played, toured, and recorded with reads like a Who's Who of rock and roll of the past 50 years with names like Carl Perkins, Tom Petty, Jeff Lynne, Joe Walsh, Jim Keltner, Jerry Lee Lewis, Dr. John, Dave Stewart, Sheila E, Howard Jones, Paul Carrack — you get the picture, the list is ridiculous and I haven't even mentioned the solo albums he drummed on for the other three Beatles.
One of my favorite Beatles songs featuring Ringo's drumming is "The End." For some reason I don't have a good mp3 of it (not sure where my Abbey Road cd is, but I'll be looking for it later). "The End" was the last song recorded by all four Beatles and all four have solos in the song (very nifty), even though Ringo didn't like solos. Here's a You Tube video with the song as it's heard on the Abbey Road as a 5 minute superfantasic medley of "Golden Slumbers," "Carry That Weight," and "The End."
My favorite Ringo song has always been "Photograph," here's a 2008 clip.
Lastly, I found a great video from Ringo of a radio interview and a performance of his autobiographical song "Liverpool 8," I think you'll like it. Happy birthday, Ringo!
If you're a semi-regular reader of this blog you know that I'm a music lover and somewhat of a band and artist know-it-all, particularly of 80's music. In general, it's the post-punk, new wave genre that I love. You're not going to see any Kenny Loggins or Chicago or Van Halen on the Sunday Rewind, it's just not me. So, as I perused the old 80's iPod playlist this week, I kept going back two songs from a band I knew nothing about. That's an odd thing for me. I bought a compilation Rock of the 80's tape years ago with one of those two songs among the bigger hits from other well-known bands, and I rather liked the song, but never did any research on the band — just filed the song, and later another of their songs in my memory. And for as long as I've listened to those songs, I didn't think anything of the band.
That band was Romeo Void.
I decided today was the day for a Romeo Void Sunday Rewind and checked to see what was out there as far as music videos for the band, as I enjoy an 80's video for the cheese factor and because the interwebs is a visual medium, most blog readers would like to see a video from time to time. Because I came upon Romeo Void in the 90's after they had broken up and MTV was no longer playing their vids, I had no idea what to expect and from the singer's voice, I imagined a Debbie Harry-type girl fronting the band — not sure why. Here's the first video I watched, which was also their first , "Never Say Never," followed one of my favorite 80's songs, "Girl in Trouble (is a Temporary Thing)."
After seeing the video, I knew why I knew nothing about Romeo Void. Gotta love the VJ's commentary, "I don't know, by the looks of that girl, doesn't look like she'd get in any trouble." Jackass.
There are a number of bands that never got a fair shake after MTV became a marketing force and tool for the record companies. Tonight I realized Romeo Void was one of them. As I scanned the Related Videos on the right hand side of You Tube, I saw the now cancelled VH1 show "Bands Reunited" did a show on Romeo Void. Awesome. I poured a glass of iced tea and started watching.
I was not surprised to see the two themes that kept re-emerging: the familiar story of jealousy
over the group frontperson receiving most of the attention and the
record label's refusal to support a band whose lead singer, Native American, Debora Iyall, who was
plus-sized. Saxaphonist Benjamin Bossi tells the story of Clive Davis and his entourage coming to a show, only to walk out of the club before Debora sang a note. It was the group's misfortune to emerge during the infancy of music videos. As the band
recounts it, after they released the video to their second big single,
"A Girl in Trouble (is a Temporary Thing)," minus any camera tricks or effort to conceal Iyall, Columbia immediately pulled its support of the group, who was on tour at the time. Pathetic. I find myself wondering if this would happen today.
Sure, we have artists like Beth Ditto, who is not only unapologetically plus-sized, she's also starting a fashion line, but we're also bombarded with Jenny Craig commercials and Photoshopped magazine covers. As a self-taught graphics chick, one of my favorite websites is Photoshop Disasters, it features the worst in what you see everyday, but may never notice (until right now). All of the images below are from PSD.
Why, here's someone I've never listened to willfully. This is a smaller image than what's on PSD, but do you see what I see? Yeah, she has giant boobs, but she also has one giant hand. Why? Did the graphics department make one hand smaller or one bigger? Mariah, did your head shrink since your last album? What exactly is going on with your belly button? Hell, your shadow doesn't even match up.
Something has been 'shopped with her chin, but I can't figure out what it is. It's like one of those pictures that were in the Hightlights magazine when I was a kid where you circle the things that don't belong, like a sock in a tree or a television with real rabbit ears. I can't look at this anymore, it's almost as bad as listening to one of her songs.
That hand is scary, man.
Here we have spawn of Achy Breaky Heart. I assume to make Miley look more like a real musician and not a manufactured Disney pop princess, Glamour magazine gave her a guitar as a prop.
Although I've never played guitar, I've seen a few in my day. I've
never seen one with an invisible part of the neck connecting to the
head of the instrument. For reasons known only to someone who super likes the eraser on Photoshop, they took the neck of the guitar out.
Mr. Eraser has also 'shopped out part of her torso by her left arm above the guitar. Why?
Finally, I'm no fan of Beyonce, but I know a lot of people like her. She also is a woman who wears many hats — singer, dancer, actress. She also must wear a bunch of gloves because she has 4 arms. Of course, the third is circled for us, but one is sprouting out of her head as well.
What these photos say to me is "hey, guess what else we've 'shopped that you can't see?"
We're living in an age where there is no such thing as a real photograph anymore. With a computer you can have bigger boobs, a smaller waist, longer neck, or an extra arm. I can put your head on someone else's body if you want.
I'm not sure if Romeo Void would have debuted in 2009 they would have had more success. There are all shapes, sizes, and colors in the music industry today, but I still think we have a long way to go.
Happy Independence Day. That's all. I just spent an hour writing a lovely post about the Founding Fathers, the Signers, and the Framers and recalling past July Fourths, including when I was in the hospital in Canadaland being induced with Katie — but oh, no — the interwebs went freakin' crazy and Typepad asked me to login again and my post reverted back to when it had last saved. All that was saved was the title. I may rewrite it later, but for now, enjoy your holiday.
Last Thursday my scrapbook peeps and I went to a cabin in the swamp/woods to hang and crop. This was not my idea. I am not remotely what you would call "outdoorsy." I'm allergic to everything and I have asthma and I don't like insects, but I like my friends, so I went. It was our own little retreat and I have to say, I had more fun in the cabin than at any retreat I've been to and believe me, I've been to a bunch. So, yeah, we were in a cabin with air conditioning and running water and all, but it was still roughing it as far as I was concerned. Frugal Beth and I arrived to see we would have to bring our bags up fairly steep stairs. Now, this was a scrapbooking trip and we had my minivan (maxifun) packed to full capacity with scrapbook bags, plastic 12×12 organizers, ice chest, overnight bags, bags of snacks and beverages, pizzas, and a tray of Triple Dippers from Chili's. If we ever do the cabin-thing again, we're getting one with a ramp (and bringing more southwestern eggrolls 'cause them was delicious).
On the way to the cabin Beth and I talked about how sad Farrah's death was, then said I said "well, you know how celebrities deaths come in threes. Ed McMahon, now Farrah." And for some reason after that, I checked Facebook on my iPhone (no, I'm not obsessed) to see everyone's status updates read something like this: OMG WTF Michael Jackson is dead?!?!?
I am nothing if not resourceful, and went to Google news where I found a plethora of contradicting headlines from CNN, AP, Reuters, and every news organization known to man. This just wouldn't do. Beth and I had to know the truth before we were smack dab in the middle of gatorland, where we feared there would be no television or wifi. At that point I realized the person my friends rely on for pop culture information is me and there is no one to call to confirm this story. Sad, isn't it? I called Melissa, who had not left for the swamp yet, and she said MJ was in the hospital and of course moments later I check CNN again they're saying he's gone. We arrived at the cabin, where Megan was already scrapbooking (I know, the nerve!) and watching — get this — Friends on the flat screen. Beth and I bust out with "how can you be watching Friends at a time like this?! Michael Jackson's dead!" Seriously.
And so began the Michael Jackson Death Watch weekend. Heartwarming, isn't it?
…….
Saturday I tried to post layouts to the blog on the iPhone, but got a message from Typepad saying my account was put on hold because something was wrong with billing my credit card. Okay, so I got a new debit card and forgot to update my info, whatev.
Sunday I made it home to see that Billy Mays had died and decided something very strange was going on in the universe. That afternoon a mucho tired me took the almost 6 year-old, her big sis, two friends, and my bud Frugal Beth (mom of one of the friends) to the circus, as if I don't have a three-ring circus at my house. Please. And I nearly twisted my ankle on a New Orleans sidewalk. Imagine that.
Monday afternoon I noticed five or so red streaks on my right heel going up my ankle and two of the streaks going up my calf. I'm not a doctor, but I thought this was bad and with the way people are dying lately, I thought about having a will drawn up. Shortly after that, I started feeling pretty bad and researched the streak-thing online which made it sound like I was very near death or at least getting ready for an emergency room visit. Then I talked to a couple of friends in the medical field about it (shout out to my peeps), and by the end of the night was pretty sure I wasn't dying. And pretty sure is good enough for me.
Tuesday I woke up feeling like death on a bad day. I was positive I'd be sitting on a cloud learning the harp with Elvis by nightfall (totally kidding, Elvis is still alive). I know everyone has different thoughts about what heaven will be like. I've read what the Bible has to say on the subject several times, but I like to think Fred Astaire is giving dancing lessons and Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon do a nightly talk show.
Yesterday afternoon I felt a little better and started writing this very post.
Now it's Thursday night and I'm nearly 100%. Streaks have faded, energy is back, and I didn't need a nap this afternoon.
Here's the thing, being sick is not enjoyable. I spent a good portion of this week trying to rest. Yes, I said trying. For those of you without children or just one child, let me paint a picture for you. I will be your Bob Ross, minus the afro.
It's 9am, I'm in bed. Katie is standing next to my bed asking what's for breakfast. My hubs is sitting with his laptop at the kitchen table. I tell her to ask her daddy. Next comes Molly asking if they can go swimming. I tell her to ask her daddy. Katie returns, says her daddy told her to wait until he's finished sending an email. Andrew enters the room with no Pull-Up or undies on, jumps on my bed and asks for cookies. At this point I get up. Later that afternoon I attempt a nap. Exactly three minutes after I get comfy, here comes Katie asking if they can play upstairs. Next the hubs asks where his iPod is. Now, I do not use his iPod. Where in the marriage vows does it say "I will find everything you lose" for the rest of my life? For realz. Next it's Andrew saying he can't find MollyKatie (he's reduced them to one name). Then Molly comes in, asking when their daddy is taking them to swim and can she wear her tennis shoes instead of her flip flops. Out of nowhere Katie pops up, says Molly won't play upstairs and wants a snack. The hubs returns, says he's taking the kids swimming. The kids all go nuts and run out of the room, only to return seconds later asking where 42 things are.
…….
Sunday marks the beginning of Kerry's Crazy July, with our anniversary and Katie's birthday, followed by my berfday, then Andrew's, and the hubs at the end of the month. It's about this time every year when I remind myself that Katie was due in June and had she been born then, it would have lessened my July stress. I mean, come on.
This is the first layout I’ve done for myself since 1999, meaning it’s not child-related. I water colored the paper and put a bunch of junk on it, mostly Prima flowers. The little pic is from Scrap Etc in Atlanta, taken with my fun Fuji Instax camera that’s like a Polaroid, but makes credit card sized pics. Love it.
