1. iPhone. are you even kidding me?

2. keys

3. lipstick

4. wait – purse, of course

5. pens

6. earrings

7. wallet in purse

8. anxiety medication – totally not joking

9. inhaler

10. great shoes

Anaface.com REDEMPTION, bitches!

This list may be a little repetitive. 

1. magazine editor

2. magazine writer

3. big newspaper writer (I watched All the Presidents Men a few dozen times way before I was old enough to vote)

4. novelist

5. playwright

6. senator

7. painter

8. fashion designer

9. hand model

10. Wonder Woman

Even Beyonce making an ugly face gets a 9. 

OMG I love songs. But for real, I don't listen to the radio. Ever. I don't care what's popular. I like what I like and I have good taste. These are songs (old and newish) that I can't get enough of at the moment.

1. "Ho Hey," the Lumineers

2. "Small Town Moon," Regina Spektor

3. "Dry the Rain," the Beta Band

4. "Counting Down," Nataly Dawn

5. "From a Window Seat," Dawes (I love Dawes)

6. "A Tattered Line of String," The Postal Service (The Postal Service is back, y'all)

7. "I'm Through," Ingrid Michaelson

8. "Cannonball," the Breeders (pretty much the best song for all occasions)

9. "Atlas Hands," Benjamin Francis Leftwich

10. "Billie Jean," by the Civil Wars

 

here's "Atlas Hands" because I love this song.

 

This is me.

At least this is the picture I used for anaface.com, the site that geometrically analyzes your face and tells you how pretty you are. 

I'm a 7.65. I would disagree, but it's math – whatev. 

According to anaface.com the following people are prettier than me.

Hitler is prettier than me.

Michael Jackson is prettier than me.

Mr. Bean is prettier than me.

Jesus is prettier than me, but I can't argue with that.

Still, anaface.com, I am not happy with the other three. I mean, really. Hitler? You know that's not right, anaface.com. I'm not the most gorgeous woman alive, but I'm no Hitler. And I'm even a prettier woman than Michael Jackson.

So, I've seen something called anaface.com that geometrically analyzes your face and tells you how pretty you are (aren't) and according to them, I'm a 7.65 out of 10. 

The good news is that I have great horizontal symmetry (because that's hot, y'all). 

My ears are too long for my nose.

My innerocular distance is too big for my eyes. I don't know what that means. I think they're calling me a hammerhead shark.

My nose is too wide. 

My face is too wide/short. Hell. You got me there, anaface.com.

My mouth is too wide. They're saying I have a big mouth. This is not news. 

So, in summation: I have big ears, a big nose, and a big mouth – pretty much Angelina Jolie, suckas. This just proves what I've always said, you can't trust geometry.

OMG I love fictional characters. I'm listing characters from novels and movies.

1. Rhett Butler (don't give me any of that Ashley Wilkes bullshit).

2. Nick Adams

3. Holly Golightly

4. The Dude

5. Madea

6. Bridget Jones

7. Batman

8. J. Alfred Prufrock

9. Gatsby

10. Clarissa Dalloway

I found inappropriate old Valentines to send to your very own inappropriate Valentine, you sicko.

 

Complete with my favorite* songs by each artist. These songs are all great and personal to me, so if you don't like them, whatev. 

*favorites are subject to change

 

1. The Beatles

 

2. Ben Folds

 

3. Counting Crows

 

4. The Lemonheads

 

5. The Decemberists

 

6. Natalie Merchant/10,000 Maniacs

 

7. R.E.M.

 

8. The Smiths/Morrissey

 

9. Fleetwood Mac

 

10. The Pretenders