I love Judy Garland for many reasons, one because she is so quotable. Here’s a favorite.

I never missed an episode of 30 Rock when it was on the air several years ago and I’m excited for the one-off stand-alone episode tonight. 30 Rock was amazing for the cast my former pretend boyfriend, Alex Baldwin, and Tina Fey, Tracey Morgan, and Jane Krakowski. They were the best. Aside from Liz’s (Fey) crazy boyfriends, my favorite thing in the show were the fake TV shows and commercials. MILF Island and Bitch Hunter (with Will Ferrell as the Bitch Hunter) being the best of all time.

Enjoy the complilation.

I feel every line of this. From the great Cleo Wade:

I love and identify with this.

I’m reprinting this from The New Yorker. It’s amazing.

Announcement: My Birthday Is Cancelled This Year

By Cara Devins and Andrew JaicoJuly 10, 2020

Hi, Everyone,

Just writing to let you know that, in light of everything going on, my birthday is cancelled this year. (I mean, what isn’t?!) It just doesn’t feel right to be celebrating at a time when there are so many more pressing matters at hand.

Obviously, I’ll still be doing a small family FaceTime, immediately followed by a larger Zoom with my college friends and maybe three work friends, max, but that’s really going to be it. If each of you could prepare a few words to say on the Zoom and wear an authentic Moroccan fez to make it festive, that would be terrific, but, honestly, it’s barely even going to be a thing. I also read about a fun game where all of you hold up a sign saying which TV character I remind you the most of (please, nobody pick Miranda!), so we can do that at some point during the second or third hour.

Truthfully, I’ve never been someone who’s really “into” birthdays anyway, so this isn’t even hard for me. Cancelling my birthday was just the right thing to do, and I have not even for a second wavered on this decision.

For local people, I’ll be setting up a booth in Prospect Park on Saturday, from 1 to 4 p.m., where you can wish me a happy birthday from a safe six-foot distance and, in return, I will use a T-shirt cannon to shoot you a T-shirt commemorating my cancelled birthday. F.Y.I., we tested out the cannon yesterday, and it actually shoots pretty far, so you might want to come ready to run.

At 2:08 p.m. (the time of my birth), we will be ceasing cannon use to blow bubbles. Prior to that, at one-fifteen (the time when I was almost born but my head went back in), all the park rangers will be lining up to deliver the traditional park-ranger birthday salute. I’ve heard it’s incredibly moving.

I know this sounds like a real bummer of a birthday to most of you, but, honestly, I’m not thinking of it like that! It’s just what I want this year. I even told Daniel not to worry about a cake. All I want is a small croquembouche, homemade from scratch, and for the first thing I see when I wake up to be a series of oil paintings depicting your favorite memories of us, followed by the release of balloons in the color of my birthstone. Aside from that, I literally don’t want a thing! If anybody makes a fuss, I’m seriously going to be pissed.

For the birthday parade of cars that will be taking place at six-thirty (and which I could care less about, frankly!), the only thing I’d ask is that everyone stick to cerulean-shade vehicles, models 2016 and beyond. I really don’t want to spend the entirety of my cancelled birthday looking at a bunch of old cars.

Anyway, hope you all understand, and that you are staying safe and well in this crazy time. (I meant to say that in the beginning, but I guess I forgot.) Also, happy birthday, Alexander! I can’t make your Zoom party, as I’m going to be lying down at that time.

This is a yearly feature on the Kerryblog. I’m 46 today and this is 46 Things I Know For Sure.

1. Zoom is fun with friends. And pretend friends in your custom background.
2. When someone starts a story with ”this is interesting” — it isn’t.
3. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
4. UPS lies.
5. Red lipstick is still the best. ”Eva’s Red” by L’Oreal is my current favorite.
6. Grey’s Anatomy has the best music in the history of television.
7. Key lime pie is the best non-holiday pie.
8. Sweet potato is the best holiday pie.
9. Sometimes birthday pie is better than cake. Like today.
10. People who use excessive emojis are psychopaths.
11. In the not-so-distant future, the FBI will conclude that serial killers used excessive emojis.
12. There is still only one redhead emoji and that is unforgivable.
13. Leah and Shane are the worst characters in the history of Grey’s anatomy. Followed by Penny.
14. The Electoral College should be abolished.
15. Rob Lowe’s new podcast, Literally, is super funny. Go subscribe.
16. The Slow Burn podcast is super great. It takes on recent-ish history topics and presents info you never knew before. Currently, they’re doing David Duke, the former KKK Grand Wizard who was in politics in the 70s and 80s in Louisiana. That’s my home state. It’s fascinating. Previously, they’ve taken on Watergate and the Clinton impeachment. Go subscribe.
17. Marvel movies are film. I’m talking to you, Scorsese.
18. Captain Marvel is vastly underrated.
19. Reporters on location talking to camera look ridiculous wearing masks. It’s them and a camera person.
20. Fireworks are apparently for any day in July now.
21. Some people should just stay home. Ccoronavirus or not.
22. Mail-in voting works. Do it if you need to.
23. Dogs need tags with your name and phone number on them. I had to dogsit a random neighbor’s dog because we didn’t know who he belonged to.
24. If you can’t get out for a pedicure and you can’t do it yourself, you have no business wearing sandals.
25. You need to make sure you’re registered to vote in November NOW.
26. There is such a thing as too-short shorts. Don’t be that person.
27. The ”pick up” spots at stores are for people picking up orders. Don’t be that person.
28. Tie-dye shouldn’t be a thing anymore. Unless you’re 9 at camp. For some reason it’s online and on every morning show.
29. Masks prevent YOU from spreading YOUR germs to others. Because you do not know if you have been exposed to Coronavirus, wear a mask.
30. Hot Ones on YouTube is a fun thing to watch to get away from the news. Celebrities are interviewed while eating increasingly hit hot wings.
31. I don’t eat hot wings. I don’t get the appeal.
32. It’s weird to tell someone (me) they have a lovely name while you’re chatting online as a customer support representative.
33. Countries other than the US don’t have commercials for lawyers. Let’s be like other countries.
34. Don’t read comments online.
35. Don’t attempt to friend strangers on Facebook or Instagram.
36. According to at least five doctors I’ve seen on reputable news agencies, there are absolutely no medical reasons to not wear a mask. Wear a mask.
37. I enjoy tuning out people.
38. People who underline words in greeting cards are weirdos.
39. After the election, we should all tune out and unplug until the January inauguration.
40. My psychiatrist is only doing virtual appointments right now and I could not be happier to stay home.
41. Silence is undervalued.
42. Presidents should only be able to tweet about policies and wishing people happy holidays throughout the year.
43. We should bring back the Mid-Atlantic accent that people like Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn used.
44. Making your bed every day makes you feel good and I don’t know why. It makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something if I don’t do anything of note for the rest of the day.
45. If you don’t watch Blu-rays with the director’s commentary you’re missing out.
46. 46 is a random number year of life. I’m hoping after the first quarter of 46 we’ll be back to a more normal-normal.