I have never felt more seen.

Do yourself a favor and watch the “LuLaRich” documentary on Primr this weekend. It’s about the MLM, LuLaRoe, and it has everything.

This has been a week (every week).

The system isn’t broken, it’s diabolical.

They covered up and lied to protect men in power while girls and women still suffer. And people have the nerve to ask why we don’t report sexual harassment and assault. We’ve known as a community of women that law enforcement won’t do a damn thing to help us, but I never thought we’d see this.

Those of you who know me know I hate the MCU character Hawkeye. Clint Barton. He is boring. He is vanilla he is plain Cheerios. He is Miracle Whip. He is unsalted white rice.

Imagine my surprise when I saw this:

Now, it’s about the new Hawkeye, Kate Bishop, who Clint will mentor. But how good does this look? Really good. They wait until after the films to give the guy a personality. I almost feel sorry for him.

Last night was the annual Met Gala, held at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. The Gala is themed each year, this year being the Costume Institute’s newest exhibition, “In America: A Lexicon of Fashion, which sounds great. The thing is, almost no one either a) knew what that meant or b) didn’t care and wore what the wanted/were loaned from a designer. It got weird, y’all. I have put the lewks into categories, because there are far too many guests to go over individually. My favorites and my least favorite get full photos because they’re glorious. Click on pics in the galleries for full size photos.

All photos are from Vogue. I do not own any of these.

THE WINNERS BECAUSE THEY GOT THE ASSIGNMENT!

Lil Nas X in gold

One outfit? I don’t think so. These lewks make me think he said to his stylist, “I want a big ass cape. Not a regular cape — like Queen Elizabeth the First is going to opening night of A Midsummer Night’s Dream with a hot guy on the side. Next, get me a C-3PO with abs suit. YOU HEARD WHAT I SAID. Ok, here’s what I want last: you know how you open a Hershey bar and it’s brown and gold? I want to look like that, but shinier. YOU HEARD WHAT I SAID.”

Well done.

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THE MEN

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ALL THE FABRIC

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ALL THE FUR AND FEATHERS!

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SILVER AND GOLD

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DO NOT LOOK AT ME!

Erykah Badu is holding a dachshund handbag. I thought it was a voodoo doll, but it’s not. She is wearing a top hat behind what seems to be a beekeeping helmet. There are also tiny French flag emblems on her outfit, which makes sense because the theme is about America.

I’m not going to write about Kim K because she doesn’t want attention. She’s not even there.

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MY FAVORITE

Do I know who Nikkie is? Not really? Do I care? No. I love the color, the silhouette, the florals, the headdress, the bow, and the “Pay it No Mind” ribbon. Is it an embodiment of America? I don’t know, but I love it.

MY LEAST FAVORITE

Do I hate it, no. I’m not a J-Lo fan. She’s not a terrible singer or a terrible actor — I’m just not a fan. It’s that she has done the extreme plunge neckline 100 times with the extreme leg slit. If she would have worn that dress, but as a jumpsuit and added chaps — holy shit — that would have been a lewk. This is confusing. It’s an Oscar gown and her stylist added a bearskin half-jacket and a Clint Eastwood style hat. She was on the way to the Gala, met Clint Eastwood on the way, who had just killed and skinned a bear, and asked him to borrow them because she forgot she needed to look vaguely American-ish.

What have we learned? This was not the best year of the Met Gala. This was not the 2018 Catholic theme. This was more or less a cop-out for fashion in a year when we needed some great fashion. I’m hoping 2022 goes back to the first Monday in May with flourish.

Please, Anna! Give us a definite theme that even some of these people can understand. That was mean. No, not really. Who are some of these people? You’re thinking it, but I’m saying it. And I don’t care, because let’s face it, I’ll never be invited. And that’s ok. It’s not like Vera Wang is dying to make me a gown. But she should. Like Nikkie’s dress, but in pink. I have ideas, I’ll be waiting for your call. That would no doubt be a great dress and would need some of the extra fabric from one of the ladies above, but they have acres of leftover fabric. Can we agree that an actual dress is more interesting that barely there wires with rhinestones? We know you have a great body, we’ve seen it! And it looks better in a fabulous dress on a cream carpet. It’s not all that risque anymore. Cher did it in the 70s. I know, I’m old. I’m 47 and I’ve seen a lot of fashion. I love fashion. Give us dresses next year.

And guys, no Baby Shrek.

There were a few more worth sharing.