Category: Uncategorized
keep calm and carry on
I’ve mentioned that I’m turning our guest bedroom into my scrap office and wanted to share something I’ll be hanging. I came across a slogan some time ago that struck a chord with me, Keep Calm and Carry On. That phrase was printed on propaganda posters in 1939 in England by George VI to relay that all measures were being made to take care of his people during the war.
As a mom, I remind myself to keep calm several times a day. I wanted to hang the print in the house, but it doesn’t exactly go with my decor, but it’s perfect for my office. The print I bought is in black and white, but you can find it on etsy.com in several colors and on bags, pendents, and lots of other things. Carry on.
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is this cute or what?
Is there a special event coming up? I’m just wondering, because I really want to get this dress, but it’s a little much for going grocery shopping and getting my teeth cleaned. I’m just saying.
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did no one get my Halloween memo?
Beyotch Katie Price aka Jordan from the UK stole my costume: Split Personality Barbie. I was totally going to straighten half my hair and sew together half an ice skater’s performance costume and half a go-go dancer dress. The legwarmer and platform pump isn’t part of the costume, I’m wearing those right now. She also must have the Air Jordan inflatable boobs, too. Geez, I mean, yours truly has bodacious chi-chis, but good Lord, those things must be filled with helium. She could serve drinks on them. Back to the costume — I love that the backdrop says Superdrug — ’cause she’s on something. I think Superdrug is going to be the name of my next book about women who think they’re really Drag Queens. Or Superdrag — you get the point.
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sleepless in south la
I am watching Ryan Adams on Letterman. I had no intention of being up remotely late tonight, seeing as how I haven’t slept well this week. All three munchkins were asleep by 8:30, I told Scott I was going to bed early, everything was going well. I got comfy, started watching House I’d recorded on the DVR and then it started.
There is a bird or something in the attic. Scott says he thinks it’s a bird. If you’ve been reading my blog for long, you know I do not like birds. Birds and I have not gotten along since that ginormous blue parrot flew at my head at the New Olreans Aquarium in ’96. A bird pooped on my jacket in front of Aswell dorm at LA Tech — I don’t think I’ve spoken of that since the day of that unpleasantness. I mean, when you’re talking with someone and a bird poops on you, how do you continue the conversation? I can’t remember who I was talking to, but I’m pretty sure I just walked away. Thank the Lord for free counseling in college. Then there was the incident in Brunswick, GA when the seagull flew in my car at the gas station.
I can’t sleep. I just know the damn bird is going to come flying in through the air vent or something. Trust me, if it could happen, it’s going to happen to me. I’m a bird magnet. Really, if a bird flies in here, it’s all over, I’m going to have to move. I had to trade in the Toyota when the bird flew in it in Georgia. Once, in Macon, when we lived on the golf course, a chipmunk ran in the house when we opened the door on the way out for church. It wasn’t that bad. Yeah, I freaked out a little and threw my arms up in the air while Scott got the chipmunk out, but it wasn’t like a bird. Birds fly. I just don’t trust that. The only thing worse than that would be if a flying squirrel got in the house. I just heard the bird again. Great. I might have to call 911. Or the Audubon Society. You know the Audubon people just invented a cat that glows green under a black light. Only in New Orleans, people. Maybe they’ll bring the glow-in-the-dark cat to ge the bird. Here’s the cat in case you haven’t seen it.
this just in: study finds men think red is sexy, woo-hoo!
I love a good study reported as news. Don’t you? Here are the results of a study of which I’m trying to decipher. The following is from CNN.com by Theresa Tampkins (from the Health section).
Does wearing the color red give you a sexual edge? Maybe, according to a new study, which found that men find women sexier if they’re sporting a crimson hue rather than, say, blue or green.
One of the images used in the study that found red clothing fans the flames of passion.
However, red won’t make you look smarter or more competent, says study author Andrew Elliot, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester in New York.
“We only found the effect for attraction, so males don’t rate females in red as more intelligent, more likable, or as having a better personality; they only rate her as sexier and more attractive,” he says.
Men also were more likely to say they wanted to have sex with a woman and that they would be willing to spend more on a date if she were in red, according to the report in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
In a series of five studies, about 150 heterosexual men (homosexual men and those with red-green color blindness were excluded) rated photographs of women framed in red, white, gray, green, or blue, or with the woman in a red or blue shirt. On a 7-point scale, with 1 being the least sexy and 7 a white-hot sex goddess, the color red added about 1.25 points to the rating, says Elliot.
So, just to be clear, is it only while women are wearing red? What if you — and I’m not naming names or anything — have red hair? You know, like any of the 2 -6% of us in the US who have naturally red hair. Guess we’ll never know. Damn, I’ll never know if I’m sexy or not. Guess I’ll have to conduct my own study. I’ll be hanging out in Home Depot tomorrow afternoon in the power tool section.
I love the part about not rating females in red as more intelligent or likable, because frankly, who the hell cares? Even more, I LOVE the part where they state homosexual men and men with red-green color blindness were excluded from the study. Yeah, that would have made the study useless! By the way is “white-hot sex goddess” a scientific term? I’ll have to ask some friends in the scientific community. I’m pretty sure I missed that in my biology classes, but I might have been writing “Mrs. Andrew McCarthy” on my Trapper Keeper the day that was covered.
Being a redhead, I’ve never worn a lot of red. But now that I’ve thought about it a little, I do get a lot of attention when I wear my red cardigan. No man can resist a chick in a cardigan. That just screams white-hot sex goddess.
don’t start that ALL CAPS stuff with me
I had to renew my driver’s license in July, but I forgot about it because apparently I’m not capable of remembering when my birthday is (I know my friends are reading this and thinking “it’s July 9th, you celebrate for a week” whatev, ). So, I was late renewing. I’m starting to worry about myself — I forgot to vote early today and I’m not a forgetful person, so that’s annoying — maybe it’s mad cow, I don’t know, I’m not a doctor.
Anyway, I renewed my license online because I can’t be bothered to go to the DMV and they were supposed to send me a sticker to put on my license. I paid the $10 late fee and everything. Last week I had to write my driver’s license number on something and realized I never received my sticker. I thought about putting a Hello Kitty sticker on it because we have plenty of those around the house, but I emailed the DMV instead. Here is their response:
Records indicate the renewal was processed online 7-23-08. We will send a
replacement sticker. In the future, you MUST notify us within 60 days to
qualify for the free replacement.Office of Motor Vehicles
PO Box 64886
Baton Rouge LA 708961-877-DMV-LINE (1-877-368-5463)
A person didn’t sign it. There’s no XXXOOO, Lydia the DMV Lady or Stay Classy, Crystal Chanda Lear or anything. I’m hurt. I signed my email “Word to your mother, Kerry” like I do all my correspondence. And what’s with the MUST in all caps? I don’t HAVE to do anything. And like I’m going to remember that in four years. Oh, what a sense of humor the DMV has. Hey, guess what? I paid for my sticker, so you MUST send me my replacement. It’s a damn sticker. It can’t cost what I paid to make the thing, and as a taxpayer I’m paying the postage, so what’s the problem? I’m a nice person and I try my best to make things better for others, so I’m going to send the Office of Motor Vehicles a bunch of Hello Kitty and Cars stickers to maintain our friendly relationship. I think it would be a nice gesture if y’all send some stickers, too. I may send them some free JR Frosty coupons I have along with some soaps I’ve picked up from all the hotels I’ve stayed in on scrapbook trips. I mean, come on, who doesn’t like a Frosty? Don’t worry, DMV, it’s on me.
Create
Just picked this little necklace for myself and thought I’d share. Suits me, I think.
pessimistic optimist
This is what I’ve been saying for years. I have been a pessimistic optimist since I learned to speak. The phrase describes me perfectly.
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a little show and tell and a little history
I don’t usually (ever) post pics of anyone else’s children, but I’m breaking my own rule today. My bff in S’port, Darla, and her hubs Chris had twins in the spring and they are my unofficial nephews. And her dog is an old friend of mine, too. This was going to be a short post, but after reading it, I had to tell you a little more. I can’t tell a short story anyway, y’all know that.
A little history: Darla and Chris adopted my dog, Beau, 7 years ago when we moved from Georgia to Houston to Canada. It was really hard for me because Beau was my first mommy experience before Molly and I hated to give him away, but was glad he was going to Dar. (I was going to end this paragraph here, but went back and finished the story.) I had had two miscarriages before Molly, the first was three days before Christmas the year we were married (1997), and the second in February two years later; so Beau was really special to me. Y’all know everything with me has to be complicated, so getting pregnant was no different. We tried to get pregnant for two years after losing the second baby. I was miserable and Scott was the best hubs I could have asked for. I had made an appointment with an infertility specialist a few days before we learned I was pregnant with Molly and was ecstatic to be able to cancel it. Later on I found out that I have an “inhospitable uterus” — turns out my insides are just as crabby as I am. It was funny in the movie “Baby Mama” that Tina Fey had the same issue, but reality is pretty damn cruel. Reality is having to take medication, have bed rest, have lots of ultrasounds, and still worry yourself to death just knowing something is going to go wrong because it’s happened before. Saying it sucks or was rough doesn’t come close. Plus, at the time, everyone we knew (literally) were having babies, so that made it practically impossible to get through Sunday school or lunch with friends without crying or thinking I’d faded into some sort of alternate universe where people with babies rule the world. And I naturally have anxiety in normal situations, so this was bad, real bad.
When I was pregnant with Molly, Beau would sit on the sofa with me and put his head on my belly, we’d take naps on the sofa, read baby name books, and he was comforting when I was fired after I had told my boss I wouldn’t be able to come to work one morning when I woke up dizzy and didn’t feel like driving was a great idea. After Molly was born, Beau would steal her socks off her feet while she was in the baby swing and hide them. He was bad, but I loved him (he just prepared me for Katie and Andrew.) Darla and Chris gave him a happy home and lots of love and I am thankful for that.
Darla and Chris are gluttons for punishment, so they bought another Basset, George. And of course they had twin boys to go with the two dogs.
Here’s my new fave pic of Beau dog licking baby Luke as baby Bowen looks on at George. The link to Darla’s blog is in the blogroll. She’s awesome. 
