Happy Chinese New Year to all my favorite peeps.  Y'all don't get too crazy now

xxxooo, Kerry

The What the Hell Friday title should be The Why the Hell do All 3 of these Monchichis Have to be Sick at the Same Damn Time Edition.  Unfortunately, that title is too long.  One of my pet peeves are blog post titles that go over one line, and yes, I know that it's just me, because things like that do not bother normal people.  Since it would be wrong to complain about the kids being sick, the hubs being out of town, and not getting to go bra shopping, so here's another thought: don't y'all know enough about me?

Here's the thing: I get approximately 742 emails a day, give or take 700.  I have not yet figured out why I get at least two of the "getting to know you" emails a week.  Most of the time they're the same, sometimes they're fun, but I never know if I should fill them out or not.  What I've decided is that my friends obviously want to know more about me.  My life is practically an open book, well, it's at least it's not a locked diary you'd have to break open with a paperclip anyway.  So, I thought I'd do one more of these things for the year — unless a really funny one shows up in my Inbox, that is.  Consider me off the "getting to know you" list, I'm done.  If you desperately need to know something about me, ask — it's all good. 

The Last Getting-to-Know-You of 2009

1. What time did you get up this morning?     the crack of crack.
2. Diamonds or pearls?      hmm.  I'll take both, I'm not picky.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?   really, who says cinema?  the Yes Man, I think. 
4. What is your favorite TV show?     Grey's Anatomy, House, Top Chef, What Not to Wear
5. What do you usually have for breakfast?      coffee, the breakfast of champions!
6. What is your middle name?     Renae — this was on the last one of these things.  Get original. 
7. What food do you dislike?       I really, really do not like fruit.  I love veggies, not fruit.  I especially hate melons of any kind.  The only fruits I will eat are apples, bananas, strawberries, and plums, sometimes peaches, but I have to be in a mood for fruit — trust me, I've never walked into the kitchen and said "man, I sure could go for an apple."  I don't like the texture of most fruits, I'm weird. 
9. What kind of car do you drive?     a pimped-out Chrysler Town and Country minivan
10. Favorite sandwich?     I'm not much of a sammich person, but I love a good grilled cheese or a half shrimp/half oyster po-boy.
11. What characteristic do you despise?     all the bad ones — being a straight up biatch/jerk would suffice.
12. Favorite item of clothing?      undies.  that's kind of weird, isn't it?  I have to have good undies.  There, don't you feel better knowing that?  I love my black Igigi dress and my Lucky Brand scarf that everyone asks if I croceted, that makes me laugh.
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?     I'm really not adventurous, like, at all — but I would love to go to Ireland, and England, and back to Graceland — my favorite of all the Lands. 
14. What color is your bathroom?     white and off-white, seriously.
15. Favorite brand name of clothing?     Cacique.  I was going to say Lane Bryant, but I'm going with Cacique now.  Ha.
16. Where would you retire to?     somewhere with a couple of really great scrapbook stores and Mexican restaurants, no snow, and good roads.
17. What was your most memorable birthday?      Lord, I don't know.  Oh, yeah, my 23rd — we were on our honeymoon cruise  — it was the fancy night, they brought a cake to the table, and I was horribly sunburned, good times!
18. Favorite sport to watch?    I watch ice skating for the falls.  You know you do, too — don't judge.  If you say you don't you're lying, plain and simple.
19. Farthest place you are sending this?     heaven
20. Who do you least expect to send this back to you?    Jesus
21. Person you expect to send it back first?     Hillary Clinton
22. Favorite saying?     Shut up; I'm going to shoot myself in the face; I got no love for hoes, I'm out the door.
23. When is your birthday?     July 9th — the best day ever
24. Are you a morning person or a night person?     y'all know I'm a night person
25. What is your shoe size?     9.  here's tidbit of useless info for you: I wore a 7 1/2 before kids.  That's right, I've gone up half a shoe size with each child. 
26. Pets?     Lucy the basset hound
27. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share with us?      YES!!!
28. What did you want to be when you were little?     queen
29. What are you wearing today?     black yoga pants and a teal tee from Target that has those scrapbooky birds on it.
30. What is your favorite candy?     M&MS and Snickers — this was on the last thing too — damn copycats.
31. Wh at is your favorite flower?     Hydrangeas, carried them in my wedding
32. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?     always tomorrow
33. What church do you attend?     1st Baptist Covington
34. What is your full name?     what the hell?  do you want my SSN too?  My name is Kerry "ReeRee" Branton (not Brandon) Faler
35. What are you listening to right now?     Molly trying to teach Andrew how to play kazoo of all things.
36. What was the last thing you ate?     Taco Bell
37. Do you wish on stars?     nope
38. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?     Tickle Me Pink, Bittersweet, or Burnt Sienna
39. How is the weather right now?      really humid and yucky
40. Last person you spoke to on the phone?     Scott, the hubs
41. Do you like the person who sent this to you?     love their guts
42. Favorite soft drink?     Coke Classic, the way God intended Coke to be
43. Favorite restaurant?     here — Casa Garcia, hometown — Monjunis
44. Hair color?     red
45. Favorite day of the year?     I don't know.  I really like the 4th of July for some reason. 
46. What was your favorite toy as a child?     Barbie and my stuffed Radio Shack cocker spaniel with the radio inside. 
47. Summer or winter?  boo-yah!  autumn
48. Hugs or Kisses?     hugs
49. Chocolate or Vanilla?     shut up.  Chocolate.  That's like saying Ghandi or Hitler?!
50. Do you want your friends to email you back?     nah, just leave some comments and we'll be cool.
51. When was the last time you cried?     Wednesday.
52. What is under your bed?     Scott's guitar and probably a couple of rogue socks
53. What did you do last night?     partied like it was 1999.  I put the kids to bed, watched Grey's and then Katie started throwing up — it was freakin' awesome!  In between cleaning up vomit, I talked to Scott and finally watched Craig Ferguseon for a much needed laugh. 
54. Favorite smell?     I love the scent of pears (not the taste), Polo cologne, and Wrigley's Spearmint gum. 
55. What are you afraid of?     why is there always a crappy question that ticks me off on these damn things?  Let me think.  I'm afraid of big-ass birds, but y'all know that.  I'm afraid of stuff in scary movies and that some conspiracy theories aren't just theories — how about that?  Oh, and skin cancer. 
56. Plain, buttered, or salted Popcorn?     I haven't had popcorn since being preggo with Andrew over 3 years ago.  Can't eat the stuff now.
57. How many keys on your key ring?     Damn, I don't know!  I think 4. 
58. How many years at your current job?     hahahaha — I've been a professional mom for 8 years Sunday.   
59. Favorite day of the week?    Sunday, Saturday — the 2 days I don't have to wake up at 6:15 in the a.m.
60. How many cities have you lived in?     a bunch.  9.  I may be leaving one out, I've lost track and I'm not sure how long you have to be in one place for it to qualify as "living" there.
61. Do you make friends easily?    maybe. Not really, because I just don't put myself out there, but I do keep my friends for a long time. 
62. How many people will you be sending this to?     the entire interwebs on the Google

Okay, that's it.  For the bonus round, here's a few more: I absolutely hate calling people I don't know; I was the tallest girl in my kindergarten class — hilarious; I totally love Wham!;  I could watch Love Actually, When Harry Met Sally, and Notting Hill a million times;  I made the Honor Roll in school exactly one time, and managed to still make the Who's Who list — that crap is rigged; and lastly — I do not like the great outdoors — at all — never have and think roughing it is a hotel without fluffy bathrobes.  

Enjoy your weekend, peeps.  Back to the real world.

got this from Melissa and thought it may qualify for a post, maybe not. 

45 ODD things about me!

FILL IT OUT and pass it on (and also back to the person that sent it to you)! Learn 45 things about your friends, and let them learn 45 things about you.

1. Do you like blue cheese dressing?  sometimes, depends on my mood.
3. Do you own a gun?  No, but my husband does.  I own a couple of glue guns. 
4. What's your favorite drink at Starbucks or other specialty coffee shops?     I love a mocha and caramel Frap,  I discovered the Mt. Ranier at Seatle Drip over the weekend, although the mocha at Cups was the best coffee drink of my life.  Mmmm…coffee. 
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?     Yes, not sure why.  Well, fear of bad news, I suppose.
6. What do you think of hot dogs?   I think yum.  Chili dogs are even yummier.  I suddenly would like some Sonic. 
7. Favorite Christmas song?     Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?     it's called coffee yo, try it sometime.  Goes well with the AM
9. Can you do pushups?     surely you jest.  No.  not even going to try.
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?  my anniversary ring, Pandora bracelet, all my Mignon Faget pieces. 
11. Favorite hobbies?      scrapbooking, blogging, writing, reading, planning my escape

What happened to 12?

13. What's one trait that you hate about yourself?   did I mention that I'm depressed?  yeah, I thought so.  thanks for bringing me down, quiz thingie.
14. Middle name?     Renae with an A, yeah, my parents spelled my names weird.  No one has ever gotten either of my names right in the history of ever. 
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?     1. who do I have to call tomorrow?  2. I wish Scott were home  3. I hope the kids stay in their beds tonight. 
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?      coffee, tea, water
17. Current worry right now?    getting out of this funk
18. Current hate(s) right now? depression, getting up at 6:15 am, owls — always owls — did I tell y'all Molly made an owl portrait in pastels in art class today?  Brought it home, I unrolled the paper and nearly had a stroke.  I have no doubt one day I will have a bird-induced stroke in my kitchen.  And doctors reading?  If you know of any anti-bird-inducing stroke medications, shoot me an email through the Google machine. 
19. Favorite place to be?  away, far away. 
20. How did you ring in the New Year? talking on Facebook with good friends, listening to fireworks in my neighborhood, watching Scott play a video game  — I think it was God of War. 
21. Like to Travel?  sometimes
22. Name three people who will complete this? me, Jenn, Beth will answer parts
23. Do you own slippers?  3 pink pair
24. What color shirt are you wearing? green!
28. Could you ever make it 39 days on the show Survivor?   hell no.  I would die or get voted off first.  or both.  unless they're canibals.  damn canibals would keep the chubby girl for a potential source of food.
29. What songs do you sing in the shower?  lately it's "Goodnight Elizabeth."  I'm more or a car-singer actually.
30. Favorite girl names?  duh, Katie, Molly, and Caroline, Elizabeth, and Sadie. 
31. Favorite boy names? Andrew, Henry, James, and Elvis
32. What's in your pocket right now?  there are no pockets in my never-been-used-for yoga pants
33. Last thing that made you laugh?  my retarded life and the fact that my new bra is broken.  stupid heavy underwire-breaking boobs.  oooo– maybe that's my superpower — my boobs can break underwires!
34. Worst injury you've ever had? I want to say my c-section with Andrew, but I don't think that counts.  I don't know, take your pick — I've twisted or sprained my ankles 400 times, I've fallen down stairs 400 times and bruised my ass pretty bad, broken a pinkie toe, and fallen in random places like my garage and on ice in Canada while pregnant with Katie, oh, and I've bruised my ego several times.  all of those are true, btw.
35. Do you love where you live?  yes, I do.
36. How many TV's do you have in your house?  3
37. Who is your loudest friend?   I don't know.  I think I'm probably the loud friend of my friends. Damn, what does that mean? 
38. Does someone have a crush on you?   ha.  I'm sure someone would like to crush me into a million pieces occassionally.
40. What is your favorite candy? M&Ms.  And I love a Snickers. 
41. Favorite Sports Team?  I do not have one.  I liked the Macon Whoopee hockey team when we lived in Macon.  Hockey is cool&
#0160;
42. What were you doing 12 AM last night?  putting on pjs and setting my alarm, sending a sleepwalking Molly back to bed and saying my prayers. 
43. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up today?  these would be my thoughts every weekday morning: "damn, is it 6:15?   Where are my slippers?  I have to pee" and then I usually walk straight into the tv cabinet in our bedroom like I don't know it's there.  I'm a bloomin' genius!
44. What is your favorite Holiday?  usually Christmas, but I love Cinco de Mayo, Valentine's Day, Mardi Gras, National Scrapbooking Day, April Fool's Day, the Ides of March, Bastille Day, my birthday, Groundhog's Day, St Patty's Day, Boxing Day, and free scoop day at Baskin Robbins.  oh, and I forgot tip your favorite redhead blogger day, that would be today.  I'll be adding a PayPal button.
45. What are you plans for tomorrow?   wow!  big day!  get up at 6:15, get the girls ready for school, do dishes, plot revenge against arch enemies, do laundry, maybe unpack my car from the weekend, drink coffee, sing back-up for Aretha on the Today show, make breakfast for Andrew, practice tricks on the half-pipe at the skate park, sweep the kitchen, make beds, make my weekly call to Steven Speilberg to direct my life story, check Facebook, work on the ScrapFest! website, audition for Food Network's "Cooking with the Wino," sharpen knives, polish silver, wait for Barack's call to be Ambassador to Ireland, watch a movie on the DVR, sushi lunch with the girlfriends, work on the hotrod, work on my portfolio for Project Runway, call about getting Andrew in speech, lose 100 lbs, grow 4 or 5 inches taller, pose for my Playboy centerfold, and make spaghetti for dinner.  Oh, and do homework with the girls.

I’m really loving how this layout turned out. Super simple, but I think it’s sweet. That’s all for tonight, party people.

I’m actually on a roll. This is Katie’s tree decorating layout with Fancy Pants paper, overlay, and velvet brads, jouraling tag, Queen & Co pearls, and the circle says Jolly and Bright. Back to the crop.

Andrew’s Christmas layout — all using Fancy Pants Designs.

ok, it's called an adhesive runner, but whatev — it's my glue gun, the Glue Glider Pro — and it's pink and green, like it was made for me.
 

Yes, Mickey Rourke did thank his dog.  Did the dog run through lines with him for the movie or something?  Maybe he did Mickey's makeup.  You know they celebrated late in to the night!  Man, I would have loved to see the party he walked into with that pooch.  Someone needs to do an intervention for Mickey and his dog.  There are few things I hate more than people dressing up their dogs.  And Mickey Rourke of all people to put the dog in a sweater!  The poor dog.  He looks like he's looking for a way to escape.  Don't be surprised if you hear on TMZ that the dog has gone missing.   And what is that on Mickey's hand?  Is that a black tattoo or did he write something on his hand and scratch it out?  He probably wrote "thank the dog."  I'm being sucked in by this photo.  I'm kind of loving those Ray Bans.  No, Mickey, you will not suck me in with your chiauaua and cool sunglasses!  That's just how men are — playing off women's emotions with their pets and accessories.  We're on to you, Mr. Rourke.

EDIT:  Okay, I'm an idiot.  I cited Wikipedia in this post about the Hollywood Foreign Press and the links DO work — so this is in fact Kerripedia!

Damn, it's been on for an hour!  Oh, well, I'm jumping in.
8:10 — what the hell is Maggie Gyllenhal wearing?  oh, good, Laura Linney won.  I like her.

8:12 — did y'all see the John Adams miniseries?  it was good.  Shirley McClaine looks like she's going to fall asleep.

8:14 — is that Xtina in the Target commercial?  she looks weird.  why?

8:16 — Biggest Loser commercial.  I'd go on that show, but no. 

8:17 — Gerard Butler sure does talk out of the left side of his mouth, doesn't he.  never noticed that before.  I'm not a fan, so whatev.

8:18 — Seth Rogen has lost a lot of weight. BEst screenplay — I love this category — big shock, I'm sure.  What a geek.  The Slumdog Millionaire writer won — love the title of that one.  Brilliant.

8:21 — My man Patrick Dempsey, now that's what I'm talking about.  Could he be any cuter?  No, I think not.  ALec Baldwin won for 30 Rock.  The guy who's going to be Aquaman was nominated.  Aquaman the movie, people.

8:25 — the hubs is calling from Houston, he's having dinner and telling me about the guy he talked to on the plane.  It's all about the networking.  I told him I'm blogging and he said uh-huh. 

8:28 — seriously, what happened to Renee Zellwegger on the way to the theater?  Her hair is all messed up and her sleeves were ripped off her dress.  OMG, the clip of The Reader was steamy!

8:30 — ok, let's see if Paul Giamatti wins for John Adams.  He should.  Kevin Spacey's not there — he shouldn't win.  Yea!  Paul Giamatti won.  He's like running up there.  What is with the sideburns, dude?  He must be making a movie about the history of the muttonchop next.  The History of the Muttonchop at a theater near you this Memorial Day!

8:33 — best tv series musical or comedy — I didn't know Albert Brooks was in Weeds.  I like him.  And it's 30 Rock.  See people, it's all Tina Fey.  Tracy Morgan just said "I am the face of post racial America, deal with it Cate Blanchett."  Um, Cate's not American.  The line was still funny.

8:41 — what is this commercial Truvia?  A sweetner made from the Stavia plant?!  What is a Stavia plant?  They could say it's made from baby's breath and cotton, I wouldn't know the difference.

8:42 — Pierce Brosnan, baby.  He's looking a little too tan.  It's Mamma Mia.  Here's a little trivia for the blog — my hubs loves Abba.  Like a lot.  He's manly and he likes Abba. 

8:46 — For realz, a survey person just called to ask my opinion on gaming in Eastern St Tammany Parish.  I answered the person, like I'm not busy!  Good grief, is the award season not sacred?

8:48 — Tina Fey won, it's her night.  Oh, look — Hugh Laurie's sitting behind Alec Baldwin.  I like him.  That dress Tina's wearing is a little much.  She's awesome, the dress not so awesome. 

8:52 — checking Facebook.  My friends are funny. 

8:55 — Steven Speilberg is getting the Cecil B. DeMille award.  He should get that award — he directed Jaws, Jurassic Park, The Color Purple — awesome.  I hated ET, so I'm not commenting on that one.  I know, I know, everyone loves ET, well, for my birthday when it came out in 1982 I wanted to see Annie with a bunch of my friends (surprise) and my mom made us go see ET.  We went to the Eastgate theater in Shreveport and I was ticked.  I got one of those big ass Pixie Sticks and was high on sugar by the time it was over.  Stupid ET.  Speilberg's talking about model trains.  Tom Cruise is in the audience chewing gum with his mouth open.  Yuck.

9:07 — if Speilberg keeps talking this show will never end.

9:08 — who is the damn Hollywood Foreign Press?  I want to meet these powerful people.  How do I get to be one of them? 

9:09 — oh hell to the no, Wynonna Judd is now the spokeschick for Alli the weight loss drug.  Can't I just watch the awards without being reminded to lose weight?

9:11 — the trailer for He's Just Not That Into You — I could have written that one.  No, really, let me know when y'all are ready for a story.  I've got tons.

9:13 — Emma Thompson should have worn lower heels to present with Dustin Hoffman.  That's just inconsiderate to my man Dustin.  OMG!  The guy who won look like an aged and slightly decrepit Morrisey.  You know, Morissey from the Smiths.  This is weird.  He's even British.  Somewhere Morissey is watching this and saying "I didn't even know I was nominated!"

9:16 — Sigourney Weaver is presenting the new Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet movie –Revolutionary Road.  Now, I don't think this will be a good sequel to Titanic — they don't explain how he made it out of the water!  I saw him drown!  How can he come back for a sequel?

9:18 — It was nice that Sandra Bullock was able to wear her wedding dress again. 

9:21 — here's what Wikipedia says about Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA) is an organizationjournalists who cover the United States film industry, but are affiliated with publications outside of North America. The group is perhaps best known for the Golden Globe Awards, of which it is the creator and on-going organizer. The group was founded in 1943 by a correspondent for the Daily Mail, a UK newspaper. The chief aim was, and is, the dispersing of news about Hollywood to countries outside North America. They vote and decide on Golden Globe nominees for each year.

no, those links don't work — this isn't Kerripedia after all.

9:25 — I can't wait to see Frost/Nixon.  I am such a geek.

9:26 — It's Salma Hayek.  I think I can finally tell her and Penelope Cruz apart.  

9:28 — Sasha Baron Coen's hair is insane.  He's giving the award for best picture musical or comedy.  The GG goes to Penelope Cruz' move.  At least I think it's Penelope Cruz. 

9:36 — the peeps on the stage just gave a shout out t
o the Morissey guy.  Okay, totally not what I thought — the Slumdog Millionaire movie is about Who Wants to be a Millionaire in India.  Whatev.

9:38 — Hey it's Marky Mark!  Say hello to your mother for me.  Kate Winslet won best actress.  Good for her.  She's crying.  Oh, she just said the other actresses names and forgot Angelina.  You know Angelina's gonna jump her when she gets off the stage.  Angelina looks like she could hurt somebody, I'm not kidding. 

9:42 — The girl from Gossip Girl is about to fall out of her dress.  The boobs are about to make make an appearance.  Ladies, if you're ever nominated for an award or happen to be presenting an award, make sure the bodice fits.  No one wants a wardrobe malfunction at the Globes.  It's not the time or place.  Save that for the Super Bowl.

9:48 — now it's a commercial for a new anti-depressant for when your anti-depressant isn't enough.  Good grief.  How depressed do I need to be?

9:49 — best actor in a drama.  What the hell is Mickey Rourke wearing?  He looks like what I would think Michael Hutchence from INXS would have looked like as an older man.  But why the sequined scarf?  Did he just thank his dogs?  I'm going to have to get the transcript.  

9:57 — I think I just recovered from seeing Mickey Rourke.  I'm pretty sure he thanked his dogs.  

9:58 — It's Tom Cruise.  I do not enjoy him, but at least he took out the gum.  I wish The Curious Case of Benjamin Button would have won just so someone would have given props to one of my favorite authors, F. Scott Fitzgerald.  But noooooooooo– it's the Slumdog Millionaire people.  And the Morissey-looking dude again.  Morissey is more attractive of course.  Oh, the guy just said the F word and they caught it on the delay.  You can't say the F word at the Globes.  Really, people have no class. 

10:02 — okay peeps, the Golden Gloves are over.  It was good times.  Y'all have a great night.  xxxooo, Kerry

Holy Blog Of Doom, Batman! I just got a bajillion whiny emails saying I
have not updated this since you last visited… You would not believe
that my hands were chopped off and I was waiting for bionic ones. But
I'm sorry you'll just have to take my word for it..

I am lost in
a sea of pseudo-olde-english with only your readership as life
preserver, hoping you haven't found other blogs, just generally being a
mother to society in general, my day seems to be a litany of stuff and
giggles from the second I am woken by murderous Teletubbies 'til
midnight. I am not complaining though. I wish you could be here to
share it.

I will try to remember I promised you I will write
something that makes sense soon. You have my word! What do you mean you
don't believe me?