Here at The Kerry Blog International Headquarters, it has come to our attention that perhaps the Ugly Christmas Lawn Decor Contest may be considered mean-spirited.  Don't you worry, Mr. and Mrs. Reader, the contest is held out of love and humor.  Anything written about homeowners is protected under the sarcasm portion of the first amendment, so don't sue me.  

Merry Kringle,

Damn Peppermint Mocha.  

  

I really need coffee-colored tees.  Damn boob-shelf.

I need this.

 

Check out this etsy.com shop — fantastic.  http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36074560 

We decorated for Christmas and I’m loving the ho, ho, ho on the bookcase. More pictures to come.

Found this shirt on Neatorama.com tonight.  

"Behind Every Great Man is a Woman Rolling Her Eyes."  So true. 

So, most of you know I’m kind of easily annoyed by things.  I’m kind of the female version of Larry David from Curb Your Enthusiasm.  You know it’s bad when I take to making a list.

Things I’m Over (Official List)

1. Anything that as to do with Twilight
2. Oprah “retiring.” For the love of Dr. Phil, this ain’t the end of O.
3. Football games that everyone thinks are life and death
4. Heidi and Spencer
5. The former Miss California idiot
6. Rude ass people
7. Personalized license plates that make no sense (my town seems to have more of these per capita than the rest of the country and I plan to get one that says OMGSTFU).
8. Lady Gaga
9. Dancing With the Stars
10. Those Windows 7 commercials 
11. My senator emailing me every other day like we’re BFFs.
12. People on Facebook who write a status update with some sort of message with “copy and past this as your status update and pass this on.”  No, and you can’t make me.  I’m not a follower, never have been.
13. The Black Eyed Peas
14. This fly that has been in my kitchen for 3 days.  It is clearly smarter than I, as it is unable to be killed. It’s currently in the blinds and making me nuts.  
15. All the paper the kids bring home from school.  I’m drowning in paper.
16. The cover of Sarah Palin’s book.  Sarah, a track jacket?  Seriously?  You dressed better on the campaign trail.  Did McCain take away your stylist?  I’m not a republican, but call me, I’ll be glad to help a sistah out in the wardrobe department.  We’ll go to Macy’s and get Orange Juliuses in the food court, it will be good times.  
17. Children that have a television, games, toys, a wii, books, and more who say “we’re bored.”
18. Getting 42 catalogs a day in the month or so before Christmas.  Why do I even get the one with adult fairy, witch, and Renaissance Faire costumes?  Oh, and it’s not a Halloween catalog.
19. The Genius feature on iTunes that suggests songs I already own.
20. People who started wishing me a “happy Thanksgiving” two weeks ago.  You never hear me wishing you a “happy Cinco de Mayo” in April.

Y'all know I love a manual typewriter, I've written about my obsession a few times.  I love the click of the keys, the sound, the ding of the return carriage — all of it.  Recently, I've hung canvases with typewriter images in my living room and this afternoon I found myself typing "typewriter print" into Etsy.com.  I obviously have issues. Here's the Etsy typewriter art round-up.  My two favorites are mixed media from ThisnThatCafe and the black print from CoffeeShop that says "be inspired to change the world."  I love the latter because it's not that a writer necessarily wants to change the world, but just changing one person's world is a fantastic thing.

From: ThisnThatCafe

From: PopGoesThePrint

From: CoffeeShop 

  

From: Thompsondesigns

A couple of weeks ago I resisted the urge to fix the grammar on the sign at the front of our subdivision that said "first annual chili cookoff." I'm aware that only grammar police know that there is no such thing as "first annual," that's because something can't be annual if it hasn't happened yet.
Now the sign has a baby sign attached that says "cancel'd Go Saints!" Oh dear. You can't just invent contractions like that. Inserting apostrophes just because you ran out of room to spell a word is not acceptable. I like the "Go Saints!" enthusiasm at the end for fun. That's funny.

http://d3gkbha1s7sr56.cloudfront.net/usercards/someEcards.swf

So, I got the new Photoshop app for iPhone today and took a pic of myself in carline to show y’all the new hair color (and straight). BUT the Typepad app makes you crop your iPhone photos to upload, so it cuts off the border off that I added with Photoshop. The app is free and you can adjust saturation, tint photos, crop, etc — but I wish the app developers could make their apps work together better. I’m just sayin’.