This was hard because my favorite MJ songs are from 1979, not the 80s. So, by default, the song has to be "Smooth Criminal" from 1987. "Annie" was struck by a smooth criminal. It doesn't get better than that. I highly reccommend not watching the entire video because it's hella long, plus, you could be watching the next video.

 

So, I hope you paused that action. 

Now watch Alien Ant Farm's cover. See if you can spot all the MichaelJacksonisms.  It's fun.

 

I'm going with "Rapture" by Blondie for the 1) sheer weirdness, 2) she's wearing formal shorts, 3) white girl rapping, 4) awkward dancing. 

 

And we also have Mr. Robert Palmer with "I Didn't Mean to Turn You On" because 1) I still love the Robert Palmer, 2) I would have loved to have said "I didn't mean to turn you on" to someone, 3) Robert Palmer is hella sexy in this video, and 4) the girl in the video with the tape recorder acting like it's a musical instrument is a personal hero of mine.

by jpdc11 

All of the other ones. I would have to say Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry Be Happy." I was on a plane with McFerrin once. That's all I have to say about that.

I have a tie. First, Thompson Twins, "If You Were Here." It's a short song. It's THE song in Sixteen Candles. It gets me every time. Everyone knows how I love a synthesizer and the Thompson Twins did it so well.

and here are the lyrics:

if you were here
i could deceive you
and if you were here
you would believe
but would you suspect
my emotion wandering, yeah
do not want a part of this anymore
The rain water drips
through a crack in the ceiling
and i'll have to spend
my time on repair
But just like the rain
i'll be always falling, yeah
only to rise and fall again

 

And "Positively Lost Me" by The Rave Ups. I positvely love The Rave-Ups. You'll remember this as one of the club songs from Pretty in Pink. This video is from a recent live webcast. I adore this song (as well as many other Rave-Ups songs). For me, it's the lyrics and the guitar on this one.

 

 

Runners-up:

A Flock of Seagulls, "Wishing (I had a photograph of you)"

 

and for the late 80s – one of my theme songs, 10,000 Maniacs' "Headstrong." I cannot tell you how much I love this song, it's very me. "Didn't you notice I'm so headstrong even when I know I'm wrong? open up your eyes, see me for what I am. Cast in iron, I won't break and I won't bend." Amen, Natalie.

 

Y'all, Tales of Hilarious and moi are in a challenge mood. This time it's the 80s. I know – can you stand it? Do you remember the 80s? Get ready, starting tomorrow.

Day 1 – Favorite song?

Day 2 – Least favorite song?

Day 3 – Favorite music video?

Day 4 – Favorite Michael Jackson song?

Day 5 – Favorite Cyndi Lauper song?

Day 6 – Favorite Prince song?

Day 7 – Duran Duran or Hall & Oates?

Day 8 – Debbie Gibson or Tiffany?

Day 9 – MTV or VH1?

Day 10 – Favorite television show?

Day 11 – Favorite cartoon?

Day 12 – Least favorite television show?

Day 13 – Least favorite cartoon?

Day 14 – Favorite television show theme song?

Day 15 – Family Ties or Growing Pains?

Day 16 – Facts of Life or Silver Spoons?

Day 17 – Favorite movie?

Day 18 – Least favorite movie?

Day 19 – Favorite movie soundtrack?

Day 20 – Favorite movie montage?

Day 21 – The Goonies or Gremlins

Day 22 – Breakfast Club or Sixteen Candles

Day 23 – Favorite cereal?

Day 24 – Favorite toy?

Day 25 – Favorite board game?

Day 26 – Favorite Atari game?

Day 27 – Favorite clothing brand?

Day 28 – Favorite foot fashion?

Day 29 – Swatch watch!

Day 30 – Anything else about the 80s?

 

I know what you're saying.

Yes, it is.

In 1988, KFC released a 3 volume set of cassette tapes called The Motown Showcase Special Collection. It was the 80s, KFC was still Kentucky Fried Chicken, and no one had heard of Rodney King yet. And in case you're not from The South, it was still The South, and KFC could get away with putting out a promotional item that smelled of chicken and racism. 

 

 

I told you it was KFC. I Googled the tapes and could find no info on how this promotional collection came to be. Gee, I wonder why. I have a feeling somebody at KFC headquarters said, "you know what people who enjoy fried chicken like? Motown." Okay, maybe it didn't happen that way, but YOU KNOW IT DID. And you can still get the tapes on Ebay. They exist. I recall transferring my volumes onto blank mixtapes and titling it "JUST MOTOWN." Yes, I did because that's how I rolled with my Emerson fake Walk-Man because I was too poor for Sony. 

They coudn't re-release the collection today. After the Mary J. Blige/Burger Kind racist ad, people need to be able to eat their chicken and listen to Motown without feeling like the KKK Grand Wizard. Honestly, I've never understood the link between fried chicken and African Americans. Fried chicken is universally delicious, no matter your race, religion, or status. Some type of fried chicken is served in almost all corners of the globe, including Japan, China, and Korea – so what makes it sterotypical African American food? In the days of slavery, fried chicken was made in both the plantation kitchen and in slave quarters, so why isn't the stereotype a fat white guy eating it? Still, ask anyone – they would tell you this KFC collection is racist.

 

 

I'm not sure who gave me the tapes. I was a music snob from early on and it took me awhile to put the KFC tapes on. I mean, they said Kentucky Fried Chicken on them and I knew that was all kinds of wrong. Then I succombed and played the tapes. My mom had played The Supremes and Little Anthony and the Imperials when I was little, but the KFC collection blew me away. I loved what I discovered on those tapes. Martha Reeves and the Vandellas, Jimmy Ruffins, Rare Earth, the Miracles, Edwin Star, and omigosh – Jr. Walker. 

"Shotgun" is still one of my favorite songs. How can you not love a song that starts with a shotgun blast and "I said shotgun. Shoot 'em 'fore he runs now"? The song is about getting a shotgun and going to listen and dance to the blues. 

 

The KFC Motown collection was the jumping off point that got me interested in Aretha Franklin,  Dusty Springfield, and later, Amy Winehouse, Adele, and Sharon Jones. AND OTIS. Go listen to some Otis Redding right now. I'll wait. I'm only going to briefly mention that Bruce Willis was on the Motown label in the 80s. The first cuts off the collection are your basic Supremes and Temptations, baby steps toward the later Motown full sound with horns and backbeat. It says volumes that artists today are still trying to replicate that sound. I love it. 

 

Another caption for the photo of me from the Bocephus concert. Did I mention 38 Special opened for him? You know, the "Hold on Loosely" people. Not a big fan.

Again, another random caption from I'd Cap That slapped on the pic of me from the Hank Williams Jr. concert. I love the Zoolander caption.

No service. This is what my phone says half the time I'm in my house. I am sitting on the sofa in my living room in our big subdivision, not in a boat in the swamp.