Because this is Prince Week on the Kerry Blog (no, it's not, but let's pretend), I thought I'd remind you people that not everyone can pull off the ass-less pants look.

I saw this on Failblog. Ma'am, you are no longer allowed to own scissors. And now that I'm seeing the photo again, I'm not sure if she was channeling Prince or the Hulk.

This is how you do peeek-a-boo ass pants.

This is how you do the Hulk.

Never the twain shall meet.

"Ooo girl, did you know Mad Men has started filming? On a beach? With me in 60s swim trunks and cool sunglasses making this face?" – Jon Hamm

Props to the girls at Emotistyle for telling women to keep their clothes on for Halloween. I particularly like the idea of going as Cagney & Lacey. 

 

I'm not saying you have to dress your baby as Prince for Halloween, but you have to dress your baby as Prince for Halloween.

I'm live-blogging the Presidential debate – LIVE FROM MY SOFA.

8:13 – What's up with the walking in this debate? they should have debated on treadmills like an OK Go video.

8:15 – Question from the audience "is the Dept. of Energy responsible for controlling gas prices." NO. This is Shell, Texaco, Chevron, and my favorite, the Kangaroo's responsibility. 

8:16 – Obama is walking around. He said natural gas isn't appearing magically. THIS IS A FACT, PEOPLE. There is no magic gas. Why are they talking about coal? This is 2012, we should have cars that run on garbage by now.

8:19 – For real they are all up in each other's grills.

8:21 – I am distracted by your extensions, Candy Crowley. 

8:22 – Mittens wants to give tax relief to the middle class. Good. I need more purses.

8:28 – Obama just invoked the name of my friend Bill Clinton. Always good. Why are they saying "blah blah blah grows the economy" like someone's in back of the White House planting Economy Seeds?

8:33 – Mittens, sit down while the President is talking.

8:34 – Take a drink, Obama mentioned Big Bird.

8:35 – "I ran the Olympics!" like that makes you qualified to be president. 

8:36 – Big ups to Candy for telling the candidates to shut up.

8:38 – "she never complained, because that's what you did in that generation" – Obama has never met my older relatives.

 8:39 – Obama's talking about Pell Grants. Full disclosure: my parents were broke when I was in college. I received Pell Grants each quarter – $250. That didn't pay for my books. I had a job, a student loan, and a Pell Grant. Pell Grants aren't the answer for college students. College students should not have to worry about how they're going to pay for school or if their parents can afford to send money for necessities. I believe in work, but paying for college should not be a part-time job in itself. I sat in the Financial Aid office more than I spent in one of my classes. If the candidates want to grow the economy, send kids to college for free. 

8:46 – also, be honest with kids – you don't need a 4 year degree to do a bajillion jobs. It doesn't take 4 years to learn web design, graphic design, and tons of web-based jobs. Give kids money for online classes to learn trades. 

8:50 – Obama says Mittens is different from George W. Bush. Romney has better hair and can pronounce "nuclear."

8:54 – I'm voting for Clint Eastwood's chair.

8:59 – "self deportation" is the stupidest thing I've heard of so far tonight.

9:08 – guy asking a question from the audience is named Kerry. Have I mentioned previously how much having a unisex name is not awesome? 

9:09 – "when folks mess with Americans we go after them" – Obama. This is true, Sir. You will go down in history as the man who gave the orders to kill more foreign leaders than any other president. Is that justice? 

9:12 – sorry that I hauled off and got serious, but I have opinions. 

9:17 – oh good, let's talk about guns.

9:26 – or just change the subject to whatever the hell you want. 

9:27 – when is Reagan's ghost going to make an appearance? 

9:31 – if one of the candidates doesn't give the Liam Neeson phone speech from Taken in a minute, I'm going to consider this debate a huge disappointment. 

I guess Brad Pitt thought he'd get Angelina a lifetime supply of Chanel No. 5 by doing a commercial. 

 

"It's not a journey. Every journey ends, but we go on. The world turns and we turn with it. Plans disappear, dreams take over. But wherever I go, there you are. My luck, my fate, my fortune. Chanel No.5. Inevitable."

Is he talking to Angelina? This is like an audition tape for a soap opera. For real, this commercial does not make me want to buy perfume. It makes me want to check the backseats of my car before I get in because a homeless philosopher on crack might be waiting. 

 

I don't think the fact that Paul Ryan looks like a slow loris is debatable. 

 

My new pink Dooney. It’s enormous. Big enough for my iPad, a box of Thin Mints, all my lipsticks, a brick, a wig, and fake passports.

I know all my readers have bee waiting for an update to the gynecologist’s art collection. The first one is new. I call it “Young Gwyneth Paltrow Wants to Leave the Farm.”
The second is old, but still my fave. “Girl With Afro Puffs Waiting for Tony.” She’s waiting for Tony, wondering where he is, what he is thinking – is he thinking of her? and will he ever return to her someday.

My hair is kind of cinnamon-colored and this lipstick is called Cinnamon Toast.