Of course I bought this.

I have insomnia. I decided to do a facial mask that got my skin super clean, then took it off and I was a ghost, so I filled in my brows. Then I tested some Smashbox eye shadow. Then I looked dumb without eyeliner, so I used a liquid. Then I drew hearts with Benefit Posie Tint on my cheeks for blush. Then my eyebrows needed to be pink. Used black liner on my lips in classic Siouxsie fashion, then thought I looked a little too pale, so I painted on lipstick in places other than my lips. Now I can go to bed!

As many of you know, I love typewriters. I also love great writing and authors. I collect typewriters. I also collect words, but words are harder to display.

So, I’m starting a new series, “Typewriters and Writers.”

Here’s William Faulkner.

It’s the Coach Wilis bag in Raspberry colorblock. I needed it.

So, a ton of stuff has been going on. I’m sorry I flaked out on the last week of the May Challenge, but y’all already know so much about me, I think it’s a’ight. I’m writing a random post to sum up the past couple of weeks.

The hubs started a new job. We thought he was going to have a few weeks off, but the company wanted him to start early. It’s a good thing, but aggravating.

Arrrrrgh.

We’re going to the beach this weekend. I’m going to read The Shining Girls, which is supposed to be very good. And it’s about a serial killer and time travel. So, you know – right up my alley.

I’m excited for my spa day.

The more weight I lose, the more I know I do not understand people. This week I needed to buy a couple of things to wear to the beach and a couple of bras, so knowing I could get both of those at Lane Bryant, that’s where I went. I admit, it’s my safety store. I know I can find something that fits there, it’s the store of my people – the fat girls. I was shocked that a size 22 was too big and laughed when the sales associate brought me a 16 in the same shirt. I laughed. Then I tried it on. It fit. I haven’t been a 16 since I was a freshman in college 20 years ago. The sales associate asked to see my before pictures, so I showed her the pic that I’ve posted on the Shrinking Kerry page of this site. She told me that I carried my weight well as a big girl. I knew this. I said, “I know I did. Plus, I’ve always believed in the power of looking cute.” A super-skinny woman in the parking lot stopped me to ask about my purse. Now, I’ve always had amazing purses and people behind me at Target have commented on them, but no one has ever stopped me and asked about one. This never happened when I was heavier. Yes, I think it’s because thin people find heavy people hard to approach. No, I do not think it’s because yesterday’s purse was the best purse I’ve ever carried. People treat fat people differently. They just do. No, no one thinks that they would or that they do, but they do.

This is the nail polish I will be wearing at the beach. It’s called Walk on the Beach.

I love a nude nail and this is my favorite nude, plus it’s sand-colored. I’m wearing the really-coral-and-not-orange, Orange You Jealous on my toes.

I do not know when orange became one of my favorite colors, but it is. I will not apologize for loving orange.

So, last week I got a new car. It’s a Ford Explorer and I have named it Dora Winfrey. Dora the Explorer. She’s the best. The dash of my car looks like a cockpit. I’ve never been a fancy-schmancy car person and Explorers aren’t super-fancy, but Dora has more features than any other car I’ve had. Seriously, I just wanted to be able to hook up my iPod. Now I have satellite radio and a back-up camera and the car beeps if I get close to backing into something. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I NEEDED THAT? Lots.

While painting my 12 year-old’s nails, my son asked if I wasn’t painting his because he was a boy.

Is there anything better than a Prince tribute band called Purple Rain? No. I may be going to see them in July. Is there anything better than a Prince tribute band that also has a Morris Day and The Time tribute during the Prince tribute? For real – do you even know how excited I am? I am beyond.

Two of my children had glow sticks when I picked them up from Vacation Bible School today. I asked if they went to a rave.

 

 

How about a haiku?

Thanks for giving me
The beginning that made me
The woman I am.

1. sushi

2. Mexican food

3. good music

4. coffee

5. new nail polish

6. an Orange Julius (but a raspberry one)

7. new shoes/purses

8. the need for change

9. sleep

10. the need to express myself (thus, this here weblog)

Have you read this weblog? I’m as different as they come. I don’t know any other way to be.

Let’s start with an obvious one: I’m a redhead. A natural redhead, though I color it now – and natural redheads are rare (because we’re mutants and that pretty makes me an X-Man with superpowers).

I have some weird audiographic memory.

I have a weird sense of humor. Again, have you read this weblog?

I know more useless trivia than anyone anywhere. It is only useful when my friends want to know something or on trivia nights. I’m a one-woman Google. Unless it’s math or geography. If you want to know something about those, I am not your girl.

I collect typewriters.

I’m super emotional.

I make super delicious risotto.

And I have impeccable taste in all the things. Listen to this jam by Phosphorescent  – if you don’t love it something is wrong with you.

 

 

Lots of things make me happy. Here’s one.