As many of you know, I am a lifelong fan of the Olympics and I am nothing if not a supporter of sports in which you win necklaces made of precious metals. While watching the Sochi games, I have rekindled my love of Ice Dancing. This underappreciated sport, the cousin of pairs figure skating, is absolutely amazing, but don’t just take my word for it – let’s go to the photos.
Here we have the gold medalists from the USA, Meryl Davis and Charlie White. Charlie looks to be in pain. A lot. The other pics are from other countries that are amazing.
No pain, no medal.Now they’re both in pain. I’m guessing. That can’t be comfortable.I call this move “a good date.”This is on primetime network programming. In my day, we had to watch Cinemax late at night to see stuff like this.Here, Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson dance their Superbowl routine.What in Thriller hell is this?I repeat, what in Thriller hell?I know his head is behind her body, but this picture is just funny.I hate it when I’m ice dancing and have to yawn.“Don’t move, I have to find my contact lens!”Odd James Bond routine where the Bond Girl kills the villain with Bond’s ice skate.“I’m touching your boob right now with my jazz hand because the dance calls for it, not because I just want to touch your boob. Why are you making that face?”
Once again, a company has tapped into my psyche and put my feelings on paper in the form of greeting cards. BecauseIhateyou.com has all your hateful greeting card needs, from New Baby:
To Christmas:
To Birthdays:
I don’t think I need to tell y’all that I’m buying these in bulk.
Once again, Victoria’s Secret made a statement to the world about fashion. That statement is a secret, however, and we have a feeling it may be “don’t tell anybody, but I thought this was a Project Runway challenge where we had to make lingerie from elements from a party store, pet shop, and Everything’s $1.”
Start your engines!Here at VS, we find nothing sexier than a woman in lingerie doing our dishes (dish gloves are hottttt). Sexy dishwashing angel.Here we have the Dominatrix Angels, clearly showing that VS has no idea what an angel is. And is that the Eiffel Tower on her head? Yes, it is.Sexy rocker chic and Sexy soccer? Is this a Halloween costume fashion show?Snow gypsy/spiderweb bubble girl! I’m wearing this for our Christmas card.Scottish angel? Scottish demon? Sexy ringmaster demon? I’m confused.Ok, not going to lie. I’d wear that Pink Pocahontas number right now. To Target.I didn’t know Peter Maxx designed for VS, but that is certainly his butterfly.SEE????Now it’s Ursula. Stealing from Disney. Poor unfortunate souls.OMG. LOL. Lisa Frank designed this. STFU. And the first chick is totally wearing a skirt made of paint swatches.Move over, Lisa Frank – it’s Punky Brewster! OMG bibs are hotttt.Also, give it up for GINGER SPICE and vaguely British things?And feathers. Nothing is sexier than feathers. And peacocks. And vaguely racist Native American dream catcher angel wings because Native Americans are sexy.
Many things are going on in my real life right now and I will post about those things soon. Until then, know that each and every one of you is a special and unique flower in the garden of the interwebs and I love your guts.
This isn’t so much in the vain of my Writers with Their Typewriters series, but it’s Lucille Ball. I love Lucy. I love her so much I named my dog after her. It’s true. She was a brilliant comedienne. If you haven’t seen her in anything but her TV shows, do yourself a favor and watch Stage Door. She’s 26 and beautiful and steals every scene she’s in.
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