Christmas is pretty great in America, but it’s not Venice great.

This is what I’m going to have to do for my oldest kid’s main gift. I love companies that have “shipping label created” and then change the tracking delivery date multiple times after it’s on the way.

Yes, please.

I am not a morning person. I have written that sentence dozens of times of times. This point about morning people is right on the nose.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves. Know that if I ask you something and you test back “k.” I hate you with the heat of a million suns.

Thought I’d show y’all what’s going on in my town. From Facebook:

I love Aretha like no other, but this is the xraziest thing I’ve ever heard.

I feel it necessary to post my fastest time playing the NYT Mini Crossword. Don’t everyone applaud at once.

I post this as I get a notification that a package was just delivered.

My reaction to everything: