I'm in a mood. I couldn't really tell you why, I'm just in a mood, pick your reason. So, I went up to my happy place — the scrap/office and took pictures of some of my fave layouts from a couple of years ago that I came across while trying to organize. The key word there is trying. I think I need a big giant scanner for my scrapbook pages. The scrap/office is almost complete, I need to hang a few more things and organize, but I thought you might enjoy a pic of the "in progress" stage.
This is a really simple layout I did for Molly's 6th birthday. The photos were grainy, but I liked the look. I filled one of the Heidi Swapp hearts with beads and liked the way it turned out.
Katie is our middle child. She is moody, serious, funny, wacky, sweet, and mean and I have no idea where all that comes from. One day at McDonalds all those facets came out and I photographed her. The paper I used is from Basic Grey's Blush line.
I'm only putting this one up to show y'all the cat that ran away. This layout pretty much sucks — I've never liked it because it's themey and I hate themey scrapbooking, but whatev. Tinkerbell was Molly's cat we adopted when Andrew was born and the cat was full-on crazy. Her favorite thing to do was to jump out and bite you when you turned a corner. Seriously. Tinkerbell was psycho. I had two really great cats prior to getting this one, so I was not prepared for the cat from hell. One day about 6 months ago, she jumped out and bit Molly and I threw the cat outside, like I had done a dozen times. She always meowed for a while and I'd let her back in, well this time, she hit the road, never to be seen again. I'm sure some poor family took her in and she's terrorizing them now.
This is a layout I did at least two years ago, before the doodling thing in scrapbooking really took off. I've always been a pioneer (in my own mind). The flower stems are some of the lyrics to "My, How You've Grown" by 10,000 Maniacs.
"'My, how you've grown.' I remember that phrase from my childhood days
too. 'Just wait and see.' I remember those words and how they chided
me, when patient was the hardest thing to be. Because we can't make up
for the time that we've lost, I must let these memories provide. I should have known. At your age, in a string of days the year is
gone. But in that space of time, it takes so long."
More scrapbooky stuff to come, as it's uncovered in due time.
If you're anything like me (which is possibly the most ridiculous statement I've ever made), you have a theme song.
A personal theme song for is quite the necessary accessory for your day, your week, your life. If you do not have a theme song, I suggest you go out an get one right this minute. But Kerry, I don't know what my theme should be, you say — well, I'm here to help, peeps.
Your personal theme song should reflect how you feel or how you want to feel, your attitude, or your beliefs. Or it could be that a song with lyrics that seem like they were written just for you. Everyone has had a moment when a song comes on the radio and you're blown away by the words. Say, if your name is Ruby and you're cheating on your spouse who happens to be a disabled veteran — your theme song could be "Ruby Don't Take Your Love to Town," by Kenny Rogers, recently covered by The Killers. There is no judging on the Kerry Blog, only love. And helping others. And sarcasm. And maybe a a wee little bit of judging, but it's only because I care.
Just for fun, I thought I'd share my theme song with you and all of the interwebs this weekend. It's always been Adam Ant's "Goody Two Shoes" for me, since forever.
I love that song. Which reminds me, I still haven't gotten those leather leggings and gun holster of piratecowboy.com I ordered a few weeks ago. While Adam Ant always wore more makeup and used more hair products than me, his song has played in my head through lots of moments of my life. After all, I've been Miss Goody Two Shoes forever and wear the crown gladly. By the way, "subtle innuendos follow, must be something inside" is the line everyone can't make out.
It's also helpful to have theme songs for specific activities, trips, and such. As of last night I have a new theme song for scrapbook trips courtesy of my friend Laurel who introduced me to the fabulousness that is Leslie Hall. This is the song that Laurel listens to while she gets ready to go out, because that's what the song is about, but because of a few lines, I'm declaring it the new scrapbooking trip song. Peeps, I give you "How We Go Out."
Simply awesome.
The lyrics I'm loving are:
On the way to the club we pass a Dairy Queen You stop cause it you know it means so much to me We take the back seats out of your mini van Now we roll like a hummer or a full size sedan
obviously that would be because we have to take the back seats out of my van when we go on a trip. And thought we don't usually stop at a Dairy Queen on the way, we do stop somewhere for goodies.
You get me hotter than a stick a hot glue And I'm scrapbooking everything we do Ring ring ring- that's my cell Bring the bling when I sing of course I will
FINALLY! A hip hop song that talks about scrapbooking! Now my life is complete.
You may return to your regularly scheduled weekend.
EDIT: just to let you know, when I'm angry I use lots of punctuation, yes, more than usual. If you don't mind that, continue on.
Friends and peeps, I spent a good while last night and practically all morning documenting for the blog the ridiculosity that was our scrapbook trip to Pearl and guess what? When I took Molly and Andrew (who are home sick today) to grab lunch (because we have no food in our house unless you count condiments and popcorn and one papaya) and guess what should happen when I get back to the hizzouse? I lost the post. Damn interwebs connection on the Google machine went out for probably 10 seconds and — because I obviously can't learn from past mistakes — the post was gone. Join me in this one — arrrrrrghhhhH! I blame Al Gore.
When I discovered the post was gone, the almost 8 year-old in the house, Molly, informed me that I said an "S Category Word" whatever the hell that means. Because she was in the room, I said "stupid computer" which is a helluva lot nicer than what I was thinking and because I'm relatively civilized I won't write those thoughts at this time.
So, I will partially tell the tale of our trip in pictures, since I in no way have the patience to rewrite the entire post, which I assure you, was the stuff Pulitzer dreams of; although it was longer than Gone With The Wind because the trip was the stuff of legend.
Here's what you need about the trip (think of it as the Cliff's Notes version): we went to check-in to our hotel at midnight last Thursday night, the front-desk dude was not there and after over an hour of looking for another hotel, we returned to the Sleep Inn to be greeted by Mr. Pornstache who resembled a chubby Freddie Mercury of Frugal Beth's favorite band, Queen. If you happen to see Frugal Beth while you're out and about be sure to sing "We Are the Champions," she hearts that song. Oh, and I fell down in the parkinglot because I am a superstar.
Anystache, it was around 1:30 am when we got to our room.
Onto our next photo. The battery in my Scrapmobile (kind of like the Batmobile, but with pink tools that could very well be used as weapons) died and Meg'n and I had to go get a new battery for the thing. Because girl likes to shop, I picked up this little beauty for the rear view mirror. It's superfantastic except for when the sun hits it just right and the reflected light burns your retinas.
On Friday night Meg, Lori, and I retired to our luxurious room and discoverd a sign to the left of our door we'd missed previously because of the sheer anger of the night before.
The small sign pointing to our room reads "snack vending machine." I assure you, our room was not a vending machine, although we did have gum in our purses.
We were past the point of delirious at midnight when we saw the sign. I told the girls that I then knew why there were quarters stuck under the door that morning and drunk people kept banging on the door in the middle of the night yelling "gimme my damn Andy Capp Hot Fries! Where are the effing Kit Kats?!"
So, that in 3 photos sums up the trip. From now on when I think of Pearl, those images will come to mind.
Oh, and by the way, by what I believe to be the intervention of Jesus, we did not make the wrong turn we've made on 2 previous occassions and end up at the Turkey Creek Water Park — just in case you were keeping score at home.
Ok, so I can’t figure out how to make the pic horizontal– sorry for making you tilt your head to see. This is all I’ve gotten done today since I had to get a new car battery this morning. More later.
Merry Christmas from the the Kerry Blog. Here at Kerry Blog headquarters, we're up to our ears in boxes, plastic enclosures, and those deadblame twistie-ties from all these toys. Seriously, I think there's more security devices in place for the toys my children received than in a nuclear power plant. What is so dangerous about the Imaginex Batman that he has to be incased in cardboard, industrial strength plastic, tape, and twistie-ties? I'm telling you, if we were in a movie, any villian would be deterred by this.
So, in my way I'm wishing you a happy Christmas and hope you have a wonderful day with family, friends, and loved ones.
Take some great pictures and if you're not already a scrapbooker, it's a great time to start (the above greeting was made on scrapblog.com) I'll be taking pics to scrapbook at Crop Connection next month. It's going to be good times.
For those of you paying attention (there will be a quiz later), I wrote two Christmas Shopping Guide #5 editions, so this is technically number 7. I never said I could count. Gosh.
So, on the way back from Pearl River tonight, Megan and I came to a full stop on I-12 before the Slidell mall exit. Eventually we saw that there was a big wreck, glass and junk all over the road. The cause of the accident? Weekend Before Christmasitis. People are flocking to the malls in droves. Not only is it inadvisable to go to the mall this weekend, it has been proven to be downright dangerous. We here at the Kerry Blog are here to help. Don’t go near the mall, instead go to Walgreens.
First, some history. When I was much younger and slightly less sarcastic and cynical, my family would make the trek all the way next door to my grandmother’s house on Christmas in the late afternoon (after visiting my mother’s side of the family i.e. the sane side). Not only could I expect one of my aunts to get get drunk on Crown Royal and ask someone to drive her to the liqour store, but it was also the time to see what my grandmother bought us the night before from K & B (when K & B Drugs still existed). My grandmother (who, by the way, gave all 3 of her daughters the middle name Ann) was not what you would call a planner. She was lucky if she remembered all of our names, much less bought Christmas gifts.
The highlight of the evening (besides when my aunt would announce that no one in the family ever really loved her and passed out — once in her car in the driveway) was opening gifts from my grandmother. The most interesting gift I remember getting from my grandmother (aka Mammaw Nextdoor) was a baby blue nightshirt in a matching drawstring bag. All 6 granddaughters got one, I was about 8. I believe it was also packaged with a roll of Lifesavers and no, they weren’t wrapped. In case you’re wondering, the most memorable gift I ever received from my alchoholic aunt was loose change packaged in a lovely purple Crown Royal bag, it was all kinds of inappropriate.
What is the moral of this story, you ask? Well, besides that it’s not a good idea to give kids money in a bag that once contained the very substance you’re wasted on, anyway. The moral of this story is that shopping at drugstores is a great alternative to the mall.
The drugstore for Christmas shopping? Hell yeah. What can you get at Walgreens? A whole lot of awesome, that’s what.
Let’s say you’ve waited ’til today to start shopping for Christmas for some reason. Maybe you’ve been working too hard or maybe you’ve just woken up from a month-long coma and need to shop for the whole family. Drive to your nearest Walgreens, get a cart and go directly to the cosmetics section. Did you know you can get all the brand name fragrances there? Walgreens has everything from Juicy Couture to Vera Wang (my fave) to Burberry — or Celine Dion and Britney Spears if you prefer.
Maybe your budget doesn’t allow for perfume. Maybe your family and friends would love something from the As Seen On TV aisle. Your sister would love a Ped Egg Pro for $9.99 and a Finishing Touch Lumina lighted hair remover to get rid of that unibrow. It’s never easy to tell someone that they have neglected their personal appearance. I find that holidays are the perfect time to let those close to you know these things with a gift. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a gift bag of deodorant, breath spray and nose hair trimmers.
I have a lot of crafty friends. Crafty as in making crafts, not cunning or devious — well, oh, nevermind. And if I know my friends, they will work on projects or scrapbook no matter the weather, time of day, nothing will stop these women. Chances are you know someone like this. Chances are you have someone on your list who will craft all night long ’til the break of dawn — even if the
power is out during a hurricane. If that should happen (and living where I live, it is likely), a hard-core crafter would need this. It’s the Craft Lite Cutter. Yes, it’s a paper trimmer. Yes, it lights up. In case you need to scrapbook or cut some sort of paper in the dark — clip coupons, Dear Abby columns from the newspaper, whatever. Now, it was not until I watched the commercial for this product that I realized cutting paper was was so difficult. You see, I have been fairly proficient at using scissors since I was 5, a child-prodigy if you will, I had cutting down pat. As an adult I have become quite adept at using all the various and sundry cutting tools, scissors, kitchen shears, hair cutting shears, nail clippers, several different craft knives, box cutters, cheese graters, glass cutter, pizza wheel, machete — I can cut virtually anything. Imagine my shock when I saw this commercial.
I had NO IDEA cutting paper could be such an issue for people. If I had known this I would have invented this product years ago. Now, I have no need for this since I have a Masters in cutting paper, but when I first saw the commercial I was across the room from the tv and I thought it was a paper trimmer with a laser. As a scrapbooker, a paper trimmer with a freakin’ laser would rock. Clearly, I am a scrapbook rockstar, but damn — I don’t have any lasers! What’s next? A fog machine? Awe yeah. I’ve long been convinced my friends and I need a tour bus for all of our paraphernalia. We typically take one vehicle to retreats, packed to the hilt with 4 -5 women, a million bags, snacks, and once — a margarita machine. I believe our stuff would rival any band’s gear and only one of us can sing. That would not be me. We definitely need a tour bus with our laser paper trimmers. Fiskars has come out with a trimmer which is also a dock for your iPod, fab idea. If it only had lasers and a fog machine… damn, that would rule. I would get one with flames painted on the sides and it would look way cooler than this —
Because although it is my favorite color, even though it would play my tunes, it doesn’t exactly say scrapbook rockstar, does it now? That’s what I thought. Butterflies? Surely you jest. Butterflies are for little girls and Mariah Carey. You can’t get the Fiskars Rock Paper Trimmer (that’s the real name, I know it sounds like something I would make up, but I can’t take the credit) at Walgreens. You may purchase it scrapbook.com for a mere $80 and it plays your iPod; the Craft Lite Cutter is $60 cheaper at Walgreens, but it only has a light. Sadly, there isn’t a paper trimmer with both features, but as the Rolling Stones sang, you can’t always get what you want.
If it’s stocking stuffers you’re looking for on Christmas Eve, I suggest hitting Walgreens for batteries. Trust me, as a mom of three, there are things I have learned — you need batteries. “Oh, but Kerry, I already bought batteries –” the hell you say, get yourself to Walgreens and buy some AA, AAA, C, and D batteries. There are few things worse than opening presents Christmas morning and finding some of those toys require batteries and you thought you bought batteries. While you’re at it, get some wire cutters, too. Exactly when did all toys come packaged with 4000 twistie-ties? My oldest child was born in 2001, at the beginning of the Era of Twistie-Ties. For those of you who had your first children after 2001, toys used to come in boxes and you could just open them and take out the toys. Now toys are packaged in a box, in clear plastic that must be cut open with a machete, tied down with twistie-ties and hell, if it’s a Barbie, her hair is sewn to the carboard, and you must free her as if she were a POW being held in Barbie prison.
So, got your list ready? Batteries, wire cutters, Ped Egg, Finishing Touch Lumina, Perfume, and the Craft Lite Cutter. It’s the weekend before Christmas, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Megan, Mandy, and I are cropping at the new store, Scrappin’ at the Castle in Pearl River today and look what I’ve done. Yes, I did an owl kinda theme for Molly’s pumpkin patch layout.
So, since yesterday was a snow day and I have been essentially trapped in my home with a feverish 3 year-old this week, I made a break for it and went to Target. What a great idea that was. Apparently everyone was thinking the same thing.
After getting tissue paper and tape, my Frizz Ease Secret Weapon (love that stuff), and milk, I made my way to the scrapbooking aisle as I always do. I can spot anything new on that aisle because I'm like a scrapbook hawk looking for prey. On first glance I saw nothing new, until some funky rub-ons caught my eye.
Y'all, someone needs to call the po-lice 'cause my thunder has been stolen. Some scrapbook company (I've already forgotten the name) has taken MY catchphrases and turned them into rub-ons. What the hell? Oh, I'm sure that will be on the next series of rub-ons! Damn. I say shut up! all the time. I've said it for years and I say it to everyone, it's like saying "oh, really?" or the equivalent, but with more chutzpah. This blew my little mind. I stood in the scrapbook aisle dumbfounded. This has to be the second or third time in the past month that I've thought, "ooo — I should make that a product!" only to find out it already exists in the retail market. As a conspiracy theorist, I'm sure either my van is bugged (b/c that's where I do most of my thinking outloud) or my iPhone is being tapped and someone is getting all of the fantabulous ideas I tell my friends.
So, if that weren't enough, I start flipping throught the little pad and find oh snap!, seriously, boo yah! and fo shizzle! What the hell? I am really the only person I know who uses all of those phrases on a regular basis and I KNOW I'm the only 34 year-old white chick who uses boo-yah! and fo shizzle in public. This is when I thought about calling the management over, but I knew that wouldn't help. So, I documented my findings and bought the rub-on pad for evidence. I plan on calling my tv boyfriend, Anderson Cooper, to get CNN on this story, 'cause I'm sure this is right up there with the recession, the auto bailout, and Linens and Things and KB Toys closing (and yes, for those of you in the know, my maiden name started with a B, hence Kerrybee, and when I was a kid I thought the store was named for me, made sense when I was 6). I would say I should start my own scrapbooking news program on the web, but I'm sure someone would take that idea, too. If the rub-on pad would have had for realz, whatev, and no big — I would have called somebody. Maybe someone's stealing my identity. Ha. I've got news for them, it ain't worth stealing.
So, on another note, Target now has little painted canvas plaques you can totally make yourself for maybe $4. I found one that may be my motto for 2009, c'est la vie. I don't know why I decided to make a self-portrait because as you know I'm not one to turn the camera around. Just kind of fitting today. And if I'm ever arrested, maybe they'll let me use this as my mugshot. And my expression goes with the expression, if you know what I mean. Yes, I'm wearing a ScrapFest! shirt. Y'all have a nice weekend. I'm hoping to get some rest and do something fun. You do the same.
So, since I've switched to Typepad I've gone back and forth over the design, not loving the butterflies on the pre-made header. I'm not a butterfly person, I'm a bee person. Butterflies are lovely, nice in nature, but the black butterflies bothered me. Scott was in NOLA tonight, so I thought I'd play around with my arch enemy Photoshop and see if I could take the butterflies out — and I could (next I'll be taking my double chin out of all my photographs), but that wasn't enough. I looked at a few digi scrapbook websites and could not find a bee that wasn't cartoony, but not too realistic either. On scrapgirls.com I found a supercute bird, so I got it, made her pink polka-dotted and put her out on a limb. Then I added my text, and voila — new banner. It can be done, peeps. Hope y'all like the little birdie, she seems at home.
I heart scrapblog.com. I use it to make a new desktop for my laptop every month. It’s fun. Here’s my rockstar, Andrew wrapping a mix tape around the sofa. I think he has a career in music. Or demolition.
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