Category: Kerry

almost too quiet haiku

It’s been a weird day.  This getting up at 6:15 to get Molly on the bus is killing me. I’ve gotten virtually no email today and that’s bizarre.  The phone hasn’t rung in five hours.  Scott’s in Pascagoula.  I’m having communication withdrawls.  Those of you who know me know I’m an information junkie and communication obsessive compulsive.  I’m either online, on the phone, or in person talking to someone almost at all times.  It’s quiet, almost too quiet.  So, here’s a haiku.

I never shut up

oh, did I say that outloud?

and…I have issues.

Tunes You Need Tuesday Outrage

It’s too bad Johnnie Cochran isn’t around anymore to say “this is an outrage!”  Somebody get Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson on the phone, the ACLU, somebody.

I was going to write about the John Lennon tunes you need today, because Lennon’s killer was denied parole again today.  Wonder why?  Listen, buddy, you ain’t going nowhere, you killed a Beatle.   Anyway, I was going to do Lennon tunes, but I read a story on CNN.com that struck a chord and the plan changed.

Did you watch the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics from Beijing?  Did you see the little Chinese girl that sang “Ode to the Motherland” as the Chinese flag was brought into the stadium.  Yeah, she was lip-synching to another little girl’s voice.  The other little girl is named Yang Peiyi and the Chinese Olympic officials didn’t feel she was pretty enough to be the star of the show.  Insert outrage here.

Here’s the little girl we saw.  Cute little pig-tailed girl.  Cute, but apparently she can’t sing.  Chinese newspapers are reported as saying she would have a future in music, the tiny singer won the heart of the nation, on and on.
But they pulled a switchero on us.

Here’s the little girl we didn’t see.  She’s cute.  Her permenant teeth are coming in, like my daughter Molly’s.  Who’s to say she’s not as pretty as the other girl?  She’s a pretty little girl.

Angelina Jolie or Madonna are going to hear of this and try to go adopt her.  Just wait.

It makes me sick that in the Olympics of all places, it’s still about how pretty you are.  It’s the Olympics for goodness sakes, not Miss Universe!  Don’t get me started on pageants.  I might start writing in all caps if I get on that subject.   And hasn’t American Idol taught us that it’s not about what you look like if you’re a singer?  I’m talking to you, Clay Aiken.  You can wear all the foundation you want, color your hair, and wear contacts, but I remember your audition, Clay.  Let’s have a before and after, while I’m on the subject.

I love a good geek makeover.

Back to the Olympics girl.  I can’t imagine what kind of emotional scarring this little girl is going to grow up with.  I thought I had issues, but my country never told me I wasn’t pretty enough for something.  Stupid China.  That’s rejection on the biggest scale, isn’t it?  And I thought getting turned down for the Sadie Hawkins dance was bad.  Dayuuum.  Like I’ve said in a previous post, I was always the cute girl, never the pretty girl.  If I would have had anti-anxiety meds in high school my teenage years would have been a lot less stressful.  College and therapy make a big difference, I’m telling you.  Here I go to call in refills to the Target pharmacy.  Be good.


I blame it on the glimmer mist

I forgot to take a picture of the layout I worked so hard on before I handed it over to Felix at Scrappersaurus.  Maybe he’ll be kind enough to take a pic and email it to me.  I think the glimmer mist must have gotten to my brain.  Anywhoodle, if you are in the area and want to see it, it’s hanging up at the Mandeville store.  I still have paint on my arm and gold ink on my hand from last night.  The stuff must be shower proof.  More later, peeps.

Cards you need Tuesday

What? No tunes?  Truth be told, I have too much going on today to do justice to Tunes You Need Tuesday, so I guve you Cards You Need Tuesday.  Here’s a find I had to share.  You can find them at http://www.uncookedcardland.com, so have fun.  If I have time later I may share my experience from Target and the McDonald’s drive thru from today.  Gotta go finish my layout for the design team.  Be good.

What I’m doing

Holly did this on her blog, so I’m stealing it. Check her blog out — it’s on the right.


drinking: iced tea

listening to: the new REM

reading: on the Epilogue of One Tough Mother by Julie Barnhill

relieved about: gosh, I really don’t have anything right now.  Um, that Katie will be starting Kindergarten

missing: a few old friends

not digging: being another year older

totally thankful for: all my loved ones.  and chocolate.  and Mexican food.

planning: ScrapFest! September

reliving: my past birthdays

daydreaming about: Going to Scrap ‘n on the River in 2 weeks

putting off: phone calls

finally accomplished: living where I’ve always wanted to be

scrappin’ with: nobody right now — but in 2 weeks I’ll be scrappin’ with Megan, Beth, Anna Bess and about 300 other crazy women.

So, there. Tag you’re it!

34 things I know

So, today I’m 34 and I thought I’d make a list of things I’ve learned after being on Earth for 34 years.  Here we go.

1. Curly-haired people should not wear bangs.

2. Don’t try to walk down stairs carrying large objects.

3. Make sure you look at the gas-thingie, if you don’t you might put diesel in your Toyota.

4. BIrds are dangerous.

5. Basset hounds are not small dogs, they are big dogs on short legs.

6. Do not drop a laptop computer.

7. Back-up important computer files.

8. The first pancake off the griddle will not turn out.

9. When in a funk, play 80’s music, it will cheer you right up.

10. When feeling down, wear fun shoes.

11. Celebrate all holidays.

12. You can’t have too many purses.  For realz.

13. Always have a stroller in the car if you have a toddler.

14. A good bra is hard to find.

15. Do not leave a child alone with a pair of scissors and a cat.

16. Downy Wrinkle Release is the best thing ever.

17. Do not take price tags off of clothes before you try them on.

18. Always have a tube of red lipstick on hand.

19. Cake = good.

20. Make sure the cap is on tight before sprinkling Cumin into chili.

21. If a bag of broccoli is practically frozen solid, don’t try banging it on the counter to break it up.

22. If you are leaving the house and think, “hmm, I should bring an umbrella,” do it.

23. Don’t gossip (but if you’re going to gossip, make sure the person you’re talking about isn’t standing behind you or walking toward you unless you’re ready for an uncomfortable confrontation, i.e. Casino Night–shout out to Kim).

24. ALWAYS have a camera on hand.  You never know when your bff might stand under a sign pointing down that says “TRASH.”

25. If possible be a redhead.  If it’s not your natural color, there’s always a salon around somewhere.

26. No one is normal.

27. If you’re in Mississippi and you see a sign for the Turkey Creek Waterpark, you may very well be travelling in the wrong direction.  If you’ve done this for 2 consecutive years, you are, in fact, a dumbass.

28. It’s okay to not be particularly good at parking.  Paralell or otherwise.

29. It is not socially acceptable to yell “I love black people” in a restaurant.  This is another shout out to Kim.

30. While watching a scary movie and someone’s going to enter a room you know they should stay out of and you yell “don’t go in there!” they will anyway.

31. It is okay to give away your “skinny” clothes.  Even if you lose weight, it’s probably going to be out of style by then.

32. Not everyone appreciates sarcasm.  But that’s their problem.

33. Spend time with people you like and people that love you.  Life’s too short to spend your time with people you can barely tolerate.

34. Laugh at yourself.  Often.  If you’re like me, you have reasons to do so.

And one to grow on — Marry someone who can laugh at themselves, too.

Birthday Gift Idea #2

So, there’s only one more shopping day until my birthday tomorrow and I’m sure some of you out there still need to pick up a gift on the way to my birthday extravaganza.  In honor of my 34th, there will be 34 butterflies released, 34 ballerina bears, and 34 different kinds of fondue for appetizers served by 34 penguin waiters.  Oh, and 34 Elvis impersonators representing 34 countries singing the top 34 Elvis songs of all time. 

Here’s a gift idea brought to you buy the fine people at Bunway Inc.  I give you the Bun-o-matic Bunny Letter Opener.  It’s a 20 second video and it’s the best 20 seconds you spend today, I promise.

I have no idea what the Bun-o-matic Bunny Letter Opener retails for or where you can purchase this item, but you might check Office PetSmart Depot.  The Bun-o-matic Bunny Letter Opener runs on carrots and requires a litter box.