getting to know you Christmas

My friend Mandy sent me one of those "getting to know you" Christmas emails where you fill in your answers after you read your friend's, and I thought I'd put my answers up, just in case anyone feels like they need to know more about me.  I give and I give, people, 'cause that's the kind of person I am. 

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Only the best Hallmark wrapping
paper, real ribbon – I am a wrapping paper snob and I know it. 

 

2. Real tree or Artificial?  Artificial with lights, I
have allergies and I don’t need another living thing in my house to take care of. 

 

3. When do you put up the tree?  In our
dining room, front corner by the windows.

 

4. When do you take the tree down?  Usually
the week after Christmas.  I like to
extend my holidays and I'd leave it up and decorate it for each holiday if Scott wouldn't think I was crazy.

 

5. Do you like eggnog?   Fo sho. 
With freshly grated nutmeg.  I am Martha Stewart.

 

6. Favorite gift received as a child?  Oh, that’s a hard one.  Three way tie
between my Barbie Dream Townhouse, stuffed cocker spaniel with a fm radio from
Radio Shack (I knew elves didn't make it), or the Lite Brite.

 

7. Hardest person to buy for? Scott, he never wants anything and says "a hug" then asks what I want and I pull out the giant scroll…

 

8. Easiest person to buy for?  Lucy dog, she never asks
to return anything and everything is always the right color 'cause you know, dogs is color blind.

 

9. Do you have a nativity scene?   I did until a couple of weeks ago when Andrew
decapitated a wise man and amputated two of the camel’s legs.  And I almost bought one of the Willow Tree or whatever they're called at the Cracker Barrel — I was thisclose to being sucked in by the Cracker Barrel.

 

10  WORST GIFT YOU EVER RECEIVED?   No idea.  Oh ho ho, yes I do. 
Let’s see if this individual is reading and/or remembers.  I somehow doubt it, because I have a photographic memory for stupid crap.  Someone once gave me a book entitled “How to
go to Hell.”  Not that it was a bad book, it was quite funny,
but the title just screams Merry Christmas and leave me the hell alone!
 


12. Favorite Christmas Movie?   It's A Wonderful Life

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?  End of
Sept, beginning of Oct. But not this year, I've hardly made a dent in my list.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas Present?  Well, yes.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?  Dessert,
candy – divinity, pralines.


16. Lights on the tree?  Yes, just as Jesus intended.

 

17. Favorite Christmas song?  “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”  love that song.  I also love U2's "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)"


 18. Do you travel or stay home at Christmas? 
Stay home.  I’m not spreading my
Christmas cheer elsewhere, except maybe my Starbucks barista.

 

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's?  of course, and it’s reindeer, dude.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?  a  star-shaped cookie, I know, it’s
ridiculous.  And it's pink, which is even more ridiculous, but our angel was too big and kept flopping over and that's not a good look, she looked drunk and the kids were asking questions.


21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?  Oh, please.  We open pressies for almost a week.  The Faler Christmas is not for sissies or persons who cannot lift more than so many pounds for that matter.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? 
Take your pick, the fact that the kids are out of school for 2 weeks, the
traffic, the crowds, the bad Christmas music, having to buy for 6 teachers, the
bus driver, the mail carrier, and everybody in between.  Last year I did Starbucks cards, this year I’m
giving a pack of Wrigley’s gum.  I’m
starting to sound like Scrooge. 

 

23. What theme or color are you using?  Theme?  Um, Christmas.  Red, green, white, pink, disco balls, pink
flamingos, Elvis impersonators, what kind of question is this? 

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?  I like
our Christmas Eve dinner, prime rib, veggies, dessert. 


25. What do you want for Christmas this year?  Peace in the
Middle East, Amy Winehouse to go to rehab, Andrew to be potty trained, the kids
to put things away without being told, Scott to have a permanent job in town,
me to wake up a size 10, get a Pulitzer Prize for blogging, and for all the
children of the world to hold hands and sing “Happy Christmas (War is Over)” by
John Lennon conducted by John Williams, while dressed as angels with glowing halos. 

 

26. Who is most likely to respond to this?  Melissa, maybe.

 

27. Who is least likely to respond to this? The person who gave me the book I mentioned.

 

28.  Who is most likely to delete this and say
"Huh?" when I mention it?
  Ha ha, you can’t delete
my blog, you wish.

short and not so sweet

So, I'm on my Pappaw's computer and this keyboard is making me crazy, but I thought I'd update y'all. 

I got out of going to breakfast with my dad this morning, 'cause I just couldn't take it.  Avoidance is my way of dealing with unpleasantness at times.  Especially when the unpleasantness is my dad and his GF who I met last night at a bar.  Sometimes I really think people are testing me to see what it would take to send me straight to the mental hospital.  Maybe that's not the case, but you can never be sure. 

Let's see, I think I got to sleep around 3:45, that was the last time I looked at my phone to see the time.  I sent my version of drunk dialing/drunk emailing, which is just super-late night emailing 'cause I think that's the perfect time to tell someone your thoughts, around 2 or 3 am, when I'm making close to no sense and have a giant headache and all.  I blogged more than I should have, but oh, well — it was What the Hell Friday, afterall. 

In the blur of my blogging last night I forgot to mention the thing that capped off the evening and did cheer me up when we got back to the totally rad Ramada.  I couldn't take a pic 'cause I left my camera at home and my iPhone doesn't have a flash, but there was a van in all kinds of colors parked in the lot with Ghetto Sno-Kone spray painted on the side.  How freakin' frakken awesome is that?  I am so opening Kerry's Ghetto Fabulous Sno-Kone at home.  That beats Papa Sam's Sno Balls and the rest of them.  People will come from all over for my sno cones in flavors like Give Me My Money Blueberry and Crack is Whack Coconut.  My fave would be Drive By Banana, maybe Big Pimpin' Pina Colada.  I haven't named all the flavors yet, but don't worry, I'll get to it.  Y'all be good.  I'm going to lunch with my mom and two of the munchkins.  Scott took Molly to the Tech game, so it's a fun day for all.  Y'all be good and get yourself a ghetto sno-kone.

why I blog

So, I’m not a political blogger.  I just blog whatever’s on my mind.  I’m not a political blogger because my views are my views and I don’t want to shove them down anyone’s throat and I’m a lover, not a fighter.  I love politics, always have, but if I had wanted to go into politics, I would have.  I’m at least going to apply to be a political pundit on CNN so I can spend time with Anderson Cooper.  CNN needs me.  Seriously, they need a fiery redhead who would flirt with Anderson.  He’s my boo.

Anyway, back to the blog.  I’m too ADD to write on one subject.  I started out writing a scrapbooking blog, but I trailed off.  Big shock there.  My friends know I can’t have a conversation without going down a side road.  For example, Megan called a few minutes ago to discuss our trip for tomorrow.  She was asking what time I’m picking her up, then I told her about the jeans I got from Lane Bryant and she told me about how today there is a 20% off sale on top our coupon we get in the mail.  Then we talked about what we’re wearing for the trip and how I’d like a new pair of black knit pants (my fave scrapbook attire), but I have to get the Lane Bryant cropped pants because the regular ones are a foot too long for me.  Have I mentioned I’m short, yes I have.  Never did figure out what time I’m picking her up.  This happens all the time.

Like I’ve said numerous times, I have a great memory, but it is extremely limited.  I know that doesn’t make sense, but just go with me on this one.  At some point everyday I walk into a room and have no idea why I needed to be there.  I know this is a common thing for lots of people, really, but I do it a lot.  I forget to take off my makeup at least once a week before going to bed.  I’ve left the house in slippers several times and had to go back for shoes.  I frequently take off the earring on my right ear to talk on the phone, putting it down in a random place and find it days later.  Because I take my right earring out so often, I have discovered I’m wearing one earring while in the car while I’m applying lipstick.  Oh, and because I rarely remember to bring my purse in from the car, I have to apply lipstick in the car because that’s where all my lipsticks are.  All 30 of them that are mostly variations of the same rusty reddish-brown color.  I buy the same lipsticks over and over because I can’t remember which ones I have.  Don’t ask me how many tubes of L’Oreal French Toast (or Cinnamon Toast or whatever it’s called) I have.  I can’t remember what it’s called, so I keep buying it — here’s how dumb I am — I peruse the L’Oreal lipsticks at Target all the time because I love their colors, every time I see French Toast (or whatever) I think, “Oooo-that color would look really good on me.”  No joke, moron, that’s because you’re wearing it and you already have 7 or 8 of that color.   I have enough to last me the next decade, I’m sure.

But, I can remember what my bff from highschool was wearing when we met.  I can quote Shakespeare word for word.  I know every line of Pretty in Pink.  I was in a department store (it was Beall-Ladymon, not sure if I spelled that correctly) when I first heard “Nowhere Man” by the Beatles and that was my introduction to my favorite band.  I can recall conversations from almost 20 years ago and tell you where the conversation took place. No one else remembers, so why do I?  A good memory is a blessing and a curse.  I can’t forget things I’d like to forget.  A good memory is sometimes overrated.  Especially when you remember stupid junk.  My first highschool boyfriend wore Polo cologne and chewed Juicy Fruit gum.  A boy in 8th grade told me I bounced when I walked — I thought he was referencing my cheery disposition, that was not the case.  My stalker from college never game me back my Fleetwood Mac cd.  Why do I think of that when I hear a Fleetwood Mac song?

I’m not crazy.  My brain just doesn’t stop.  Like, ever.  So, that’s why this blog is so scatter-brained.  It’s pretty much like me.  If I see something funny from a website I want to share it with you.  If I feel like live-blogging the election results, I’ll go with it.  When a song’s been on my mind lately, I’ll tell you about it.  If I’ve done a scrapbook layout I really liked, I’ll post it.  If I’ve done something really stupid, you know I’ll post that.  If something is bothering me, I’ll tell you about it.  Chances are there’s one or two of you out there who may relate, but I don’t know.  I know some of my readers in real life, but I’ve never met a bunch of you and chances are we’ll never be sitting next to each other on a plane or have lunch together.  And that’s okay.  But, if you’re sitting on a plane one day or waiting for your number to be called at the DMV and you see a chubby redhead who seems preoccupied with her thoughts and probably talking to herself out loud or singing “Kind and Generous” or “Positively Lost Me” quietly to herself and writing in a pink croco datebook, it may be me.

I’ll be in Birmingham for the next few days, but bringing my laptop, so I may post.  Y’all be good and I’ll talk to ya later.