Y'all know I love my Counting Crows. I needed a little "St. Robinson and His Cadillac Dream" this morning, and not just because my name is in the song. It's one of my favorites, lyrics are fun and love the mandolin and how Adam does my favorite line of the song. I'm sure you can guess it, it's not hard.
Author: Kerry Faler
I collect typewriters in the 21st century. I’m an enigma that way.
it was just an honor to be nominated
I don't know if you heard, but I've been awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in the lesser known among prizes, Dumb Blog Category. Sure, it's not as sexy as the Nobel Peace Prize (which I was also nominated for, being that I haven't murdered anyone in the 35 years I've been annoyed by people) or some of the other prizes, and hell, I don't even get a gold statue like at the Oscars. It was just an honor to be nominated, so you can imagine my reaction when I got the call. It went a little something like this:
Me: Hello.
Nobel Prize People: May I speak to Kerry Branton Faler?
Me: For real.
NPP: Um, okay. Mrs. Faler, this is Georg with the Nobel Prize for Literature Committee.
Me: What the hell kind of name is Gay-org? Is this a joke?
Georg: It's Swedish, I'm Swedish — listen, I'm calling to congratulate you for winning our Prize for Literature in the blog category.
Me: Cool! What do I win?
Georg; A medal.
Me: A medal? Like a gold medal? Like the freakin' Olympics? Hell yeah, it's about time. My blog is like a damn decathlon of awesome.
Gerog: Well, it's gold-plated.
Me: I'm more of a silver person or platinum, of course.
Georg: You don't get to pick, Mrs. Faler.
Me: Alright. This is in Sweden right? Do I win like a Ikea gift card or something? I do love the Ikea. You know, Georg, you could live in an Ikea. Really, they have food and everything.
Georg: No, just the medal and there's a reception —
Me: I hope there are Swedish meatballs. Those are some good.
Georg: The menu hasn't been set yet — Mrs. Faler, I take it you accept?
Me: Hellz yeah! I'm there! Oh, which post was the winning one or is more of a cumulative thing?
Georg: The award is —
Me: I bet is was my Christmas post about when I got the Crown Royal bag of change from one of my aunts. Good times, good times.
Georg: No —
Me: Oh, the New Year's post about when I was stuck at the party when I was 17 and got a ride home from Ray Ray and Tiny? Ah, memories.
Georg; No —
Me: The Eff-it List? That was funny. Or maybe y'all go for the more meaningful stuff like my Carry That Weight Post? I thought that was some mighty fine writing if I do say so myself. I mean, it was the Semi-Serious Kerry, not the Silly Kerry that writes about way too much about boobs and naked people furniture and 80's post-punk music. Hey Georg, you know a good band who was Swedish and kinda cool — Roxette. I haven't written about them. Yet. Maybe one of my music posts won. I write like two of those a week, but I wouldn't think those would be Prize worthy. I mean, not when I write such gems as the post on my Thanksgiving trip to Shreveport last year and that insanity, oh and the Ghetto Sno-Kone mobile. Georg, my blog posts are like my children, I can't pick a fave, you know what I mean? Come on, Georg, don't leave a sistah hangin'.
Georg: uh
Me: Georg? Grand Master G, you there?
Georg: Mrs. Faler, it is, as you said, more of a cumulative thing.
Me: Ah, gotcha. Have you ever read my blog, Georg?
Georg: No, Mrs. Faler, I just make the phone calls.
Me: Oh, okay. So, you have no idea what I've been talking about?
Georg: No, Mrs. Faler.
Me: Well, Georg, you'll have to excuse me, I have this undiagnosed-as-of-yet form of Tourette Syndrome, where I talk with absolutely no editing filter, saying potentially embarrassing things. Like all the time.
Georg: I don't think that's a real disease.
Me: Oh, I beg to differ, Georg. If I didn't have it, why would I have said the words "Hello Kitty vibrator" while having lunch with friends a couple of months ago? I mean, normal people don't just blurt that out over pizza, Georg.
Georg: No, of course not.
Me: And I didn't even realize I said it until I told another friend and she said "you said 'Hello Kitty vibrator' out loud in front of so and so" and I said yes, because I obviously cannot control it and like that sort of thing just comes up in conversation. That's what I'm talking about — having no editing filter, so just ignore what I said about boobs and naked people furniture, okay?
Georg: What kind of blog did you say you write?
Me: Shouldn't you have that in your handy-dandy info, Georg?
Georg: My information says that you write a hobby blog on scrapbooking.
Me: Yeah, about that — it started out being about that, but kind of went in a different direction, hence the "lagniappe" part. That means "a little something extra," except that my blog is mostly lagniappe. And clothes and Beyonce and sometimes I live-blog stuff and talk about the crap you can buy in the Sky Mall catalog. Oh, and sometimes I even post something about scrapbooking.
Georg: It was a pleasure speaking with you, Mrs. Faler, but I have to call a few more Prize winners now.
Me: Same here, Georg. Hey, you know — you should show up with balloons and a giant check like the Publisher's Clearing House people, that would be cool.
Georg: But we give medals —
Me: I can't wait for those meatballs, Georg! You take care now!
80’s Sunday rewind: Pet Shop Boys
This post has been a long time coming. I've finally found LOTS of decent quality videos that allow embedding. So, the 80's Sunday Rewind is jam packed full for you today. Yippee.
The Pet Shop Boys have been one of my favorite bands since 1986. Please was one of the first albums I bought, then Disco, Actually, Introspective, Behaviour, and the other one-word albums that followed. It's always been interesting to me to grow up with a band. There are several bands I feel that way about, Pet Shop Boys being one of them, one that I've been a fan of since their first album. And being been a fan for so long, I couldn't tell you what it is exactly that hooked me. I loved the synth pop then, the almost spoken word style of singing Neil Tennant is now known for, the full sound of their songs, thoughtful lyrics — there are so many things to love about PSB.
I thought I'd give you my favorite of their 80's tunes as well as two 80's leftovers from '90 and '91, one of which is "Being Boring," which I can't say enough good things about. I love a literary song. "Being Boring" references Zelda Fitzgerald and her quote, “…she covered her face with powder and paint because she didn’t need
it and she refused to be bored chiefly because she wasn’t boring. She
was conscious that the things she did were the things she had always
wanted to do.” Love that. PSB said the song is about the ideals you have when you're young and about growing up, and the lyrics reflect that. My favorite lines have always been:
Now I sit with different faces
In rented rooms and foreign places
All the people I was kissing
Some are here and some are missing
In the nineteen-nineties
I never dreamt that I would get to be
The creature that I always meant to be
But I thought in spite of dreams
Youd be sitting somewhere here with me
That's good stuff.
First up is the first PSB single, "West Eng Girls," then "Love Comes Quickly," followed by the capitalist theme song "Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money)." One of the greats, Dusty Springfield joins PSB on "What Have I Done To Deserve This," then our 80's leftovers, "Being Boring" and "Jealousy" round out the videos today. "Jealousy" is wonderfully orchestral and the vid features a fabulous fight scene at the end — such a good video from that era. So, enjoy my Pet Shop Boys today, it's good times.
Music Videos by VideoCure
Music Videos by VideoCure
Music Videos by VideoCure
Music Videos by VideoCure
forecast schmorecast
Kerry's weather forecast is brought to you by the fine people at the pharmaceutical company which keeps her medicated and motivated.
Here is the 10-day forecast for the Covington area:
That's right, a week of storms, lows in the 70s, highs in the 80s, and 90% chance of Kerry losing her mind.
one of those days
It's been one of those days. You know what I mean. I know you do. Shall I expound on my day? Okay.
Let's back up a moment. It's really a carry over from yesterday when the air conditioning was out (it's 90+ degrees here on the Northshore in South Louisiana even thought the calendar says it's October). It was hot. I am not a fan of heat. Like at all. Our a/c man is fantastic and the house started to cool around bedtime (not my bedtime, the children's bedtime), so I was in a much better mood last night.
I went to bed around one. Couldn't shake the static in my brain, of course. Woke up at 5 with a migraine, took some Judy Garland trailmix and tried to go back to bed 'til 6:15, otherwise known as "time to make the doughnuts" as I say every morning when I turn off the iPhone alarm and wake the kids to get ready for the bus. No, I've never made doughnuts.
After I got the kids off, my migraine and I went back to bed. If you've never had a migraine, let me illustrate the feeling: my senses were so heightened that I could smell colors and that made sense. At 9:45 I woke up and made coffee, took a shower, put on another pair of pjs, and sat down to the Macbook Pro for the ENTIRE day. I've been working on a friend's website for about a week and this morning I decided to publish it to the web so I could work out glitches and upload mp3s and all.
Unfortunately, the interwebs hates me.
I deleted the old site, uploaded the new one, but it wasn't there. The error message on the site said something to the effect of "error blah blah blah, this page does not exist on here, fool. Contact the webmaster." This made me laugh until I choked on my coffee and yelled "this shit is bananas," which became the phrase of the day. The webmaster is an idiot. I'd fire her if it were my site.
So, I called my good friend, Frugal Beth to tell her the story because I knew she'd laugh and she asks her professional webdesigner hubs what to do and we got it worked out. Something about publishing to some file blah blah blah awesome. Site was up, buggy, but up. More issues arose, the kids came home crazy, and my friend tells me he bought the new Photoshop Elements 8. Now, I bought PSE 6 a few months ago. This kind of thing makes me crazy. I hopped on apple.com and sho nuff, 8 is out. This shit is bananas.
After putting myself in timeout for a few minutes after telling the kids to stop asking for cookies for the brazillionth time, I returned to the kitchen to see they had eaten the entire bag of Chips Ahoy. I put myself in timeout again to avoid the screaming boiling up from within, then sent the kids upstairs, sat down to the computer again and continued day-o-web frustration.
And then I pondered dinner for at least ten seconds before putting a frozen pizza in the oven (because that's all I could muster up tonight). After calling the hubs' aunt and cousins to ask them to babysit next weekend, I realized I never took the pizza out. I burned the pizza. Nothing like extra crispy blackened pepperoni.
This was not my day.
After burning the pizza, I chatted with my friend while making at least a dozen blog banners for his blog, then finally got the right size. It was bananas. The first one was 20 times too big, then too small — it was like when I try on clothes. Typepad said it was supposed to be so many pixels, wrong. Whatev, they're smokin' crack. I again recited my phrase of the day.
It was about that time that I remembered I forgot to eat dinner, made myself some cereal, and watched Private Practice while trying to upload the mp3s. Two will not work. They must have gotten the memo that the interwebs hates me. It was at this moment that I went to You Tube for some Gwen Stefani. I'm not a fan of the Gwen, but this mix of "Hollaback Girl" with Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" is the bomb, yo. After — no lie — playing this video 7 times, it's been a much better evening. And come on, this shit is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s. Sing along with me.
public service announcement
It has come to this. I have to make a public service announcement for our friends out there who didn't get what I like to call "home training." You see, I ran a few errands yesterday and saw many crimes against humanity, at least of fashion humanity.
I'm not talking about wearing white after Labor Day.
I'm talking about what to wear in public. Or rather, what not to wear in public. For the remainder of this post, public will mean any place you go to where you have to get out of your car. Yes, even Walgreens.
New Rules for Public Attire
- Wear a bra. You should know if you need one. Remember the pencil test from middle school when you put a pencil under your boob and if it stayed that meant you needed a bra? Okay, some of us could put a pencil case or a phone book under there. I'm not naming names or anything. Don't make me stand in front of Target with pencils.
- Pajamas are for home, keep them there. Oh, what gave it away that those are pajama pants? Maybe the thin fabric and drawstring waist.
- Keep the pants that say something on the behind at home too. There is nothing right about a 40 year old woman with "Juicy" written across her ass.
- Slippers are not shoes.
- A bluetooth ear-thingie is not a fashion accessory.
If further clarification is needed, please do not leave your house.
tunes you need Tuesday: yacht rock
So, I've been watching Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and he's been talking about Yacht Rock for a week.
If you're not familiar with Yacht Rock, here's part of the Wikipedia entry:
"Yacht rock" is a name[6][7] for the popular soft rock that peaked between the years of 1975 and 1984. Significant "yacht rockers" include Michael McDonald, Kenny Loggins, Christopher Cross,Goldstar and Toto. In the musical sense, yacht rock refers to the highly polished brand of soft rock that emanated from Southern California during the late 1970s and early 1980s. In part, the term relates to the stereotype of the yuppie yacht owner, enjoying cocaine
and smooth music while out for a sail. Additionally, since sailing was
a popular leisure activity in Southern California, many "yacht rockers"
made nautical references in their lyrics, videos, and album artwork,
particularly the anthemic track "Sailing" by Christopher Cross. Yacht Rock music is commonly described as, "A little bit better than elevator music!"
Genius name for the genre. Love it.
Have I ever told y'all how much my hubs LOVES Christopher Cross? I know I've discussed the hubs' "taste in music" on the blog before, but really, y'all have no idea. His iPod on shuffle goes like this: Christopher Cross, Willie Nelson, Journey, Billy Joel, Garth Brooks, Alison Krauss, Phil Collins, Barry Manilow, The Judds, Toto, Michael Buble, lots of Abba and COMPLETELY random '80s songs. On the rare occasion when we're together in a car long enough, after a max of three songs on shuffle, I will yell "JUST SHOOT ME IN THE DAMN FACE!" I'm SO not kidding. On the Orange Beach trip, I put my earbuds in after Willie Nelson's version of "Always on my Mind" was followed by "Never Gonna Give You Up" and I yelled "JUST SHOOT ME IN THE DAMN FACE ALREADY!" Oh yes, I did. For real. I'm a great road trip companion — ask any of my friends, but not with the hubs.
So, this Tunes Tuesday is for the hubs, who will be getting a captain's hat, sunglasses, and an ascot for Christmas so he can jam in proper attire to his Yacht Rock music. He's not getting the yacht.
late night post in which I favor shopping over therapy
It's late. Like 12:44 am late. And I've got my 80's playlist going — The Commodores "Night Shift" is on, y'all.
I can't sleep. Why? Not sure. The children of the corn are all asleep, Lucy dog is too. I'm physically tired, but as usual, my brain won't stop. So, I've been shopping online. I've done quite a bit of online shopping lately. When I say quite a bit, I mean I may have ended the recession myself. Someone call Barack, I deserve some kind of medal of freedom or something.
I'm not in therapy anymore, and I'd rather spend the money on shoes and purses anyway.
So, this is the dress I've decided on for the hubs' reunion.
It's from Lane Bryant. Here are the boots I bought from Zappos to wear with the dress.
How do you like that croco detail? Shut up, that's awesome. They're Naturalizer. I like their boots. Didn't go for a big heel because I like not falling down. You all know my graceful nature.
I just bought this bag, the red will pop with the dress.
And while I was on Zappos getting the boots, look what I found.
These Born maryjanes are the cutest, had to get them — Zappos said there was only one pair left. I'll wear them with jeans and capris. It's just too bad they don't match this bag I just picked up.
Hello, my name is Kerry and I am an emotional shopper (but at least I'll look cute).
80’s Sunday rewind: New Order
It's a gray day here in southeast Louisiana and you know what that means. That's right, post-punk 80's to get me going this morning. Today it's New Order.
The following is part of the Wikipedia entry on New Order:
New Order were an English musical group formed in 1980 by Bernard Sumner (vocals, guitars, synthesizers), Peter Hook (bass, backing vocals, electronic drums) and Stephen Morris (drums, synthesizers). New Order were formed in the wake of the demise of their previous group Joy Division, following the suicide of vocalist Ian Curtis. They were soon joined by additional keyboardist Gillian Gilbert.
New Order combined post-punk and electronic dance, and became one of the most critically acclaimed bands of the 1980s.[2]
Though New Order's early years were shadowed by the legacy of Joy
Division, their immersion in the New York City club scene of the early
1980s introduced them to dance music. The band's 1983 hit "Blue Monday" saw them fully embrace dance music and synthesized instruments, and is the best-selling 12-inch single of all time.[3] New Order were the flagship band for Factory Records,
and their minimalist album sleeves and non-image reflected the label's
aesthetic of doing whatever the relevant parties wanted to do,
including an aversion to including singles as album tracks. The band
has often been acclaimed by fans, critics and other musicians as a
highly influential force in the alternative rock and dance music scenes over the past 25 years.New Order were on hiatus between 1993 and 1998, during which time
the members participated in various side-projects. The band reconvened
in 1998, and in 2001 released Get Ready, their first album in eight years. In 2005, Phil Cunningham (guitars, synthesizers) replaced Gilbert, who had left the group due to family commitments.
So, there ya go — that's New Order in a nutshell. They pretty much ruled.
New Order also produced some of the most innovative music videos of the era. You did know there would be videos, didn't you?
And from my favorite movie evah, Pretty in Pink, it's "Shell Shock" and "Thieves Like Us." Love love love these two songs. "Shell Shock" is a great bitter break-up song. You'll remember "Thieves Like Us" as the instrumental in the montage in which Molly Ringwald's character is sewing her prom dress (the 80's montage from which all other montages are judged). Pure 80's goodness, people. Enjoy.
fun with music
Y’all know how I love the music. While I love the music, I haven’t played an instrument since the violin years ago and I don’t expect to be taking up that again any time soon. But I’ve found a site called inudge.net where my mouse and I can make beautiful music together (and you can too).
I call this song “PMS Sucks and I Love Iced Tea.” You see, my music comes from what I’m feeling at the moment.
