Author: Kerry Faler

I collect typewriters in the 21st century. I’m an enigma that way.

a cappella Ben Folds

Just when you thought I couldn't feature Ben Folds in any other way — HA! I go and serve up my favorites from the University A Cappella contest on You Tube.  This is enjoyable stuff.

This is a great song, done well by the Spartones.  Love the energy.

"Gone" is one of my favorite songs period.  Well done.

Shut up.  That was great.  And color coordinated.  

"Zak and Sara" works well as an a cappella song.  I think this guy moonlights as DJ Lance on Yo Gabba Gabba.  I'm not kidding.  

Hope y'all enjoyed the a cappella stuff.  It's a fun change from the norm, I suppose.  Plus, they're Benny songs.  

and now – advice for young girls from cartoon princesses

The Second City Network made a video with a certain cartoon mermaid saying what I've been telling people for years.

I know I'm not the only woman ruined by the Disney princess films.  

I waited for my Prince Charming to come on a white horse, but he wasn't a prince and at the time he drove a Nissan Maxima.  Now he drives an Explorer.  I'm not sure if he's ever been on a horse.  

Sadly, I cannot communicate with woodland creatures and they have never made me a dress or cleaned my house.

Oh, and back in the day, I tried being someone I wasn't to win a guy too.  That never works.  I could write a non-bestselling book of tips on how not to win a guy.  Remind me to do that one day.

I hope The Second City Network makes this a series.  I think Snow White's advice would be superb.

my favorite television show

Curb Your Enthusiasm has been my favorite television show for a good while now.  If you haven't seen it, you should.  Most everything on the show happens as a result of some misunderstanding between Larry David and another character or because of Larry's big mouth, saying something he shouldn't have.  You don't know how much I identify with Larry.  

This is my favorite clip from the show, in which Larry had to change a flat tire himself because his wife canceled Triple A and guest stars Wanda Sikes, who in the episode Larry tells, "I'd know that tush anywhere."

"What's that shit all over you? What you've been doing – scrounging around looking for assess? All under bleaches and shit – WHERE'S THE ASS?"    I'm going to try my best to work that into a conversation this weekend.

36 things I know

So, yesterday I turned 36 and I thought I'd make a list of things I've learned
after being on Earth for 36 years.   And yes, I did think about copying
last year's 35 Things and adding one, but I didn't because that's the
kind of blogger I am.  Here we go. 

  1. If a child says " Mom, look at this" it's most likely going to be something I do not want to see.
  2. When a medical professional makes faces when they are taking your blood pressure, it's a bad sign.
  3. If I purchase anything Apple makes, they will release the brand-spankin' new version two months later.
  4. Technology hates me.
  5. The second you think you have something figured out, the sky will open up, a tornado will pick your house up, and you will wake up in Oz. 
  6. Glinda was right when she said Dorothy had what she needed all along.
  7. I am not a dog person and I need to stop trying to be a dog person.
  8. Anxiety is bad.
  9. Angry Birds is a highly addictive iPhone game.
  10. One should never give up looking for a lost Mignon Faget earring – it will turn up.
  11. When Harry Met Sally is probably the most perfect movie ever.
  12. I need a bigger reminder of when I need to get my inspection sticker renewed.  Can't they make it glow when it is nearing the expiration date?  Something.
  13. All of the teeny-bopper music needs to die. 
  14. So does auto-tune.
  15. So does American Idol. 
  16. I will no longer apologize for not liking things (see previous posts on chicken salad and things with mayonnaise).
  17. When a restaurant calls something a Caliente Roll, I will not assume it is because it will be awesome, I will look at the ingredients. 
  18. People will disappoint you.
  19. If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit.
  20. Cookie Crunch cereal has all the promise of awesomeness and fails miserably. 
  21. Basset Hounds and stairs do not mix.
  22. People will surprise you.
  23. Being yourself is the only way to be.
  24. You don't want to be anyone else anyway.
  25. I will no longer apologize at summer functions for not liking watermelon.  I do not like melon of any kind.  It's a texture thing.
  26. I've decided I like the color orange.  I've never been an orange person.  At 35 I started liking orange.
  27. I still do not like oranges.  I do not like most fruits.  I do like plums, sometimes apples, occasionally a peach, but never oranges.  It's mostly because of the peeling involved. 
  28. Once in a while it's fun to order queso in a Mexican restaurant by saying "we're gonna need some queso up in here."
  29. Really, you should order like that all the time.
  30. The people you love the most will make you the most crazy.
  31. You should be able to bill them for that.
  32. I have some of the best friends a girl could ask for.
  33. Most of them are nuts.
  34. Technology hates me.
  35. Counting Crows needs to make a new album every 2-3 years.
  36. When in doubt, quote the Lady Chablis, "two tears in a bucket…"

I feel it all

I've been in a whirlwind of emotion since yesterday.

We will not be moving.  It's not a bad thing, it just came as a shock while we were in the midst of packing and getting ready to uproot our family.  And so, I felt as though everything I had put my energy into this summer was thrown out the window.  It's not a good feeling.  I'm glad we're staying in Covington, because this is home, but I'm not happy about the situation with the hubs' job.  Is normal too much to ask for?  What is normal anyway?  I don't think I know. 

Anyway, here is Feist with the song of the day.

do not want

There are lots of things I do not want right now.  I thought I would make a list.

  1. to have to move.
  2. to explain myself again.
  3. to explain why we are moving.
  4. to apologize for being sensitive.
  5. to get an ultrasound tomorrow.
  6. to get bad news.
  7. late birthday cards.
  8. store-brand ice cream.  I mean, seriously.
  9. to try to be anyone else but myself.
  10. salad.

Mo'Nique doesn't want salad either.

Monique1