Day 23: Five fears you have

Big birds (not Big Bird)

Losing the people I love

Losing my memory

That I’m not being the best person I can be

Donald Trump

Day 22: A Quote You Try To Live By

My quote has been in said in dozens of ways, but I like the way Amelia from Grey’s Anatomy put it:

If you aren’t willing to keep looking for light in the darkest of places without stopping even when it seems impossible, you will never succeed.

Day 21: Personal Changes Over the Last Few Years

Next month it will be five years that we’ve lived in Texas. I have a lot of feelings about that. I feel that I’ve lost a few friends. I lost my business. I feel a little lost here. That’s me being very honest. I’ve only made a friend or two here and since I’m being honest, I don’t care to. My closest friends haven’t lived close to me since high school or college, so friendship shouldn’t be location based. Other than that, I haven’t made any real changes. I gained weight after my hysterectomy. I know you wanted to know that. My hair is getting whiter. The roots come in faster. Oh, I got an amazing dog almost two years ago. That’s all.

Day 20: Favorite TV Show and Why

Like, of all time or current or what? I’m going with the past 15 years or so. Grey’s Anatomy is my favorite because of the complexity of the characters and their relationships with other characters. From Day One they started building these rich, messy characters we meet on the first day of their internships at Seattle Grace Hospital. Characters have come and gone (and some came back), but the show is still primarily the same. Fantastic characters and great storylines. Some better than others. The show has given me lots of words and phrases I love and use. “My person.” “Vajajay.” “Seriously?” “McDreamy.” “Post-It.” “Dark and twisty.” The latter being my favorite because it describes how I think about myself. If you’ve read the blog for long, you’ve seen me post quotes from Dr. Meredith Grey, but I also loved Dr. Christina Yang (the badass of badassery). Here’s my second favorite from her.

Day 19. Your Thoughts on the Importance of Education

Did you read my last post? I think it’s really important.

Do I think everyone needs to attend college? No. We need skilled professionals and degreed professionals. Do I need a degree to do album design? No. Do I need some sort of certification or degree in graphic design to do it professionally? Yes. Trust me, exactly no one has hired me in this city to do graphic design.

Did I need a trained professional to fix my beautiful sofa when the arm became separated from the frame? Yes. Someone who likes to whittle is not a trained carpenter.

So, that’s my opinion on that.

Day 18: Biggest regret in life

Like The a second Forty, I don’t believe in regret. I do honestly have two regrets in life. The main one is not not giving my all in college and at the same time, not seeking help when my anxiety started. I was in counseling, but I didn’t see a doctor. Had I gotten help, I have no doubt I would have finished college. And that’s that.

Day 17 — Four Strange Traits You Have

Hmmm…

1. I used to be ambidextrous. I vividly remember being able to write with both hands until 1st grade when Mrs. Morris made me pick a hand. As a result, I hold pencils/pens wrong. I rest them on the wrong finger.
2. I have a weird memory thing in which I’m able to recall nearly word-for-word conversations over decades. Usually conversations with important people in my life or an off hand one that was odd. It’s what they call Emotional Memory. It can be be a very upsetting thing to have, but also fun.
3. My memory is also just plain weird. I know lots of weird facts and trivia — like a ton of stuff I have no reason to know, so I’m a great trivia game partner.
4. This isn’t just me, but I’m a natural redhead and redheads have a gene that makes us require more anesthesia in surgeries. I’ve had two different surgeons remark about this and since then I’ve read up on it. I can tell you that when I was six, I had my tonsils and adenoids out and I could hear the doctors talking while they were operating. I was awake. I know I was six, but I’m positive I’m correct because of my weird memory.

Day 16 — A Book You Love and One You Don’t

This is not hard. My favorite book is The Awakening by Kate Chopin. I first read it in a Novels class in high school, so it was a real treat being one of only 17 or 18 kids to read it in the school. The themes are dark in this novel. It’s centered around a character who is a New Orleans mother to boys, but doesn’t consider herself a “mother-woman” like the others that summer in Grand Isle. I loved the book then, but I really got it when I became a mother. A LOT of women are mother-women. You know them or you are one. Their lives are centered around their child. They have no identity other than so-and-so’s mom. I was never that woman. I’ve always had my own interests, always will. I can’t spoil it, but it’s a phenomenal book.

I could make a big list of books I don’t like. That would easy. I’ll do one everyone knows: Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë. It is horrible. People and the world have made it mandatory reading in British lit, but it’s the worst. Its heralded has this amazing gothic romance, but between the timeline, introduction of characters, illness, birth, and death, combined with a terrible icky British moors, it’s not a good read. It’s care about the characters, so when one died, I was all “oh well, there goes another one.” Plus, (spoiler alert) Heathcliff is not nice. What was Catherine’s attraction?

By the way, I hated WH so much that it pissed me off that the fantastic song “No Myth” by Michael Penn has “what if I was Romeo in black jeans? What if I were Heathcliff, it’s no myth” as a lyric. Stay away from WH, people.

Day 15: Highs and lows over the past year

Well. The past year was pretty sucky.

Lows: the husband was laid off when they let his department go. That sucked. He interviewed for seven months and found a limited term position, then back to the interviewing and sending resumes. • I also attempted (and am still) to find something and it’s been crickets. • My mom had four surgeries after being diagnosed with breast cancer. Not fun at all. She is now cancer free and I’m thankful and praise God for that. • Politics made me depressed and angry. I’m trying not to let those things get to me as much (no such luck). I was glad 2018 ended.

Highs: my middle daughter won awards for her art and my son loves band and piano. I love that one is artsy and one is musical. My oldest has made two fun games in her gaming classes, I think it’s pretty impressive. • One thing that gave me a lot of joy was finding a podcast I’ve mentioned on this very blog, RU Talkin’ R.E.M. Re:ME? If you’ve been reading for more than a few days, you know that I’m a huge music fan. R.E.M. is one of my favorite bands and hearing two fans who happen to be actors playing half of each song on each album, all the B-sides, the fan club singles, demos and dissecting each song and album, personally rating them — it’s great. Scott Auckerman and Adam Scott (Scott and Scott) are super silly for probably 25 minutes before getting into the albums, but goodness gracious — it’s a good show. • It was a weird year, so finding highs are hard. I got to see my hometown friends that I hadn’t seen in a while, so that was great. Again, I have really great friends and they’re the best. I’m hoping for a great 2019. For all of us.

Day 14: Someone who fascinates you and why

I’m so tempted to write “hell if I know.” I don’t know whether to write about someone who fascinated me for good or nefarious reasons.

So, Paul McCartney.

I love him. I’ve loved him since was 12. He’s an undeniable genius. A Beatle, the driving force of Wings, dynamic solo artist. Prolific song writer, amazing musician, voice like no other. He has put out album after album since he was 19 years old and has toured every corner of the earth and back again. The man is 76 and is on tour right now.

That’s one fascinating man.