My favorite fashion night of the year took place last night. There were the good and there was a lot of ”oh no you didn’t done did that.” Starting with the opener. Oh dear. Let’s get started. And let’s not forget, I’m not a fashion blogger, I’m a blogger who loves fashion.

Janelle Monáe wore what would have been Princess Leia’s wedding dress had she married Han. From Ralph Lauren’s Instagram: “The shimmering, fully embellished silhouette required more than 600 hours of expert hand-embroidery to adorn 168,000 crystals over lacquered silk lamé tulle.” My word, that’s a lot of crystals.

I’m so happy that Laura Dern is having a moment. She was amazing in Big Little Lies and won last night for Marriage Story. I wish she would have said no to the tassels. It does kind of look like Victoria’s Secret Does Couture, right? But it’s Armani Prive.

Saorise Ronanin wore two different dresses sewn together by Valentino. I don’t understand this one at all. I like none of it.

Regina King — more like Queen of the night. The color, the fullness of the skirt —

I love this. Pretty in pink.

I don’t even know what this is. I know this is the year of Billie Eilish, but I do not get it. This her quote about her style:

“Nobody can have an opinion because they haven’t seen what’s underneath. Nobody can be like, ‘she’s slim-thick,’ ‘she’s not slim-thick,’ ‘she’s got a flat a**,’ ‘she’s got a fat a**.’ No one can say any of that because they don’t know.”

What is ”slim-thick?” I think I’m thick-thick.

I’m not saying she’s wrong, I’m saying there is a way to do oversized without looking like a cartoon in costume. Shame on Chanel for creating this David Byrne-inspired monstrosity. The nails, the hair — all of it. She needs a stylist to guide her from costume to oversized glam.

I love Charlize, but I do not like this neckline. It’s Dior. I’m guessing this is part of her contract with Dior — you’ve probably seen the perfume commercials. She looks better in the commercials

Initially, I really liked Margot Robbie in this Chanel gown, but now all I see is hot Morticia Adams.

I love this on Gal Gadot. It’s Givenchy Couture and it may look like two different dresses sewn together, but I love it. It’s so un-Wonder Woman and soft. I would wear this anywhere. Look for me in Target wearing this (after I start my Givenchy Go Fund Me Plus Sized).

Olivia Colman in Stella McCartney is a Star Trek formal waiting to happen.

Timotheé Chalamet in a Prada tracksuit suit. No, honey. I get that these younger stars want to do their thing, but no. This is for the Grammys or the Met Gala if the theme is ”Athleisure Through the Years.” If they use that, I’m getting my lawyers after them. By lawyers, I mean a cousin and everything I’ve learned from Suits and Better Call Saul.

Cynthia Erivo in Versace was a WHOLE LOT OF LOOK. There are a lot of things going on with this. The skirt is gorgeous and dramatic. I’m all about a big slit. The bodice is where I got lost. The boobs are asymmetrical. I can’t say that I’ve seen that before. And I can’t say it looks good. The crossed strap was a trend last night and had the boobs been in one place, it could have worked. Then we have the asymmetrical sequined stripes. It’s too much and I hate that because she’s super fabulous.

I love Mindy Kaling in this Dolce and Gabbana. Another crossed strap with a cap sleeve in the perfect yellow for her. Mindy, you nailed it, girl. And she’s wearing a perfect necklace. So many women skipped the jewelry last night and I don’t know why. She looks fab.

Billy Porter wearing Giles Deacon. Normally, I love his look, but this is another case of two pieces sewn together. Don’t hate me. It’s too much at once. The skirt is wild. Paired with a black tank or matching top would be great. I LOVE the gold top, but it’s too busy with the busy skirt. And the shoes. Its too much at once.

Sandra Oh in Elie Saab. I love this. This is romantic and I love the ruffles. This would have been gorgeous as a sleeveless dress as well. Last night was all about sleeves! No sleeves, asymmetrical straps, huge sleeves — did you see Idina Menzel’s performance dress? (Good golly). I love this. Did I say that already? I love this.

Kristin Wiig in my 8th grade Home Ec project I ran out of time on and tried to finish with hot glue but it dried all bumpy and then I had to wear gloves because of the hot glue burns.

No really, it’s Valentino Couture. Really, it is. It’s bad, but it’s Valentino. What hell is going on there and how on earth did she sit in it and did it hit the people next to her? It looks hard. That is never a good look.

Whew. We made it. We got to the end. I didn’t critique all of the dresses and only covered two men, but let’s face it, they were the only ones worth focusing on. It was good times!

I know, Idina. I didn’t recognize Eminem with the dark beard either.

As a teenager and older, I heard ”you have such a pretty face,” which was a killer to a chubby girl. I was more than that and I always felt the statement in the graphic below. I was so much more than my face. And I knew people who were only pretty. Nothing in the brain, nothing in the heart. And where does that get you? Congratulations on your face.

Today was a fun day at the vet’s office with a not happy cat. Hopefully, he’s on the mend. I’d planned to write today, but that was sidelined.

This made me laugh.

I found this on the interwebs.

It made me laugh.

Most everyone knows I love true crime documentaries and podcasts. I think this every time I see the disclaimer:

I’m not live-blogging the SOTU tonight because of Bruce Banner Syndrome.

“Well Wishes” by Lang Leav

It’s the 40th anniversary of Apple ”Typewriter Memo.”

No surprise, it’s not nice to typewriters. Read below.

I hope it’s a good one, y’all.