It’s back. Several years ago I wrote a post about weird nativity sets and last month, the universe borough me new fodder for a second edition. These were all either advertised to me on Facebook. I didn’t go out looking for them, they just popped up over the last month because Zuckerberg wants me to get a Peanuts nativity set.
Let’s start with the Peanuts.
Boy, are you in luck, it’s on sale. It’s almost like they forgot the true meaning of Christmas from the special we see every year. Pretty sure Woodstock wasn’t baby Jesus in that one. Here’s that “Holy Skeletal Night” you wanted. Go ahead and put it up for Día de Muertos and keep it up straight through the Christmas. I don’t have to tell you this is obviously the very “cool girl” glass nativity. You have this if you have all white furniture and a fireplace with no mantel. A Kardashian. Nothing says the the birth of Christ like popping him out of Mary. Joseph and Mary had to leave gnome to be counted for the census, where there was gnome room at the inn. This nativity set it not my thing, but might be perfect in your gnome This is bad. I’m just going to say it, because I keep seeing red cardinals in Christmas cards. Only male cardinals are red. I know it was immaculate conception, but come on.Nothing says “I have money” than some metal pieces and wooden wishbone. This is for a home in danger or extremely accident-prone because it’s indestructible. Except for the wishbone. This is terrible, but not only because it’s rubber duckies, but because there are donkey, cow, and sheep ducks. That doesn’t make sense. For just $2500, you can have this set of random pieces of wood that you can tell your friends is a nativity set. “For the alpaca lover.” Who are these people? I need to know if someone has this. If anyone sees this in someone’s home, send me a pic. This is so spectacular in its ridiculousness. A millennial nativity with hipster wise men on Segways with gifts from Amazon. Sheep in a sweater. Oh my. This is the last nativity set. It’s not terrible, but it is $425 and you can close it when you don’t want the baby Jesus watching you, so that’s nifty. Just as you know God is omniscient like Santa and can see if you or bad or good, so be good for goodness sake. Honorable mention: the diamond Jesus pendant for just $1699. You can go to your megachurch’s Christmas Eve service and show off your love for diamond Jesus. Complete with a diamond tear. Now, that’s what I call Christmas.
kerryfaler.blog 