These ads showed up on my Facebook feed yesterday.

What in the Mrs. Garret is that? You know what makes plus sized ladies look great? A shapeless poncho in giant argyle.

Next.

Let’s see. These are jeggings, which — ok — they aren’t the worst item of clothing, BUT…this description. High-rise. Pull-on. Pedal. Light wash. I’ve never seen an item with more descriptors. Never.

Then there’s this hideous whatever.

Another poncho. Again, cover up the big girls. Put a hole in a bedspread and call it a day. Why is this color locked? Why is the belt coming through? You can see where the model’s waist is, yet she looks twice that size in the poncho. Gawd, I hope I never have to write “poncho“again this year.

Lastly (only because my eyes couldn’t take more).

A jumpsuit that is a jogger (which is nicer than saying “jogging suit,” but tests what it is) that is for some reason OFF THE SHOULDER. So, this is not actually to be worn to workout, although Livi is their activewear line. Can you imagine wearing this to jog in? You’d constantly be tugging on the top. Plus, no bra? And caucasian skin color? Nice that’s flattering on a bigger body. It even has a blouson waist to mimic a chubby middle. Love that.

For the love of plus-sized ladies everywhere, hire actual plus-size designers. You’re showing your industry ignorance and it’s insulting. I’m sorry for dropping my usual comedic take in this paragraph, but most of the US female population wears the sizes Lane Bryant carries and they need to be held to a higher standard. All of these items are on sale now. The jumpsuit is $59. Lane Bryant’s prices are high across the board and I don’t mind paying for quality pieces, but these are not it. A $59 flesh-colored off the shoulder jogger is not it.

Look at this description of A New Hope:

Robots, a youth, and a space jockey.

And as of today, Joni Mitchell, too.

During the day I’m usually watching Food Network and between that and HGTV and other random networks, I’ve noticed at least 6 charities asking for money, which is all well and good. charity pledge drives kick up before the holidays and go pretty heavy for a few months.

It’s always bothered me that these charities want to send you a t-shirt or blanket to show that you’ve donated. Why? I guess if you we’re these thing it advertises their charity, that must be it. But knowing you’ve given should be enough.

I know from designing different promotional items for my old business that simple t-shirts run a two to three dollars by every 500. So, if you’re donating $25 and $1 goes toward your t-shirt, they’re netting $24. Part of that pays for the commercials that run incessantly, the office staff, CEOs, lawyers, office buildings, the finally the cause for which the charity runs.

It’s always struck me as odd that give you a t-shirt, tote bag, commemorative coin, or blanket as a thank-you for your donation when a thank-you email and the form to deduct on your taxes is enough.

PBS is the worst offender, which I hate because love PBS so much. They mostly do Saturday morning telethons in Houston, where I currently live. Saturday morning programming is reserved for cooking shows, but instead of fundraising during the shows people already watch (and would be more willing to donate toward), they show three hours of Suze Orman or a motivation writer or some such. Of course, your donation gets you Suze’s book or CDs or whatever. When I was younger, they would have one of the cooks on and they’d give away one of their books and such for every donation level — $125 gets you Martha Stewart’s latest appetizers cookbook, etc. But now they air two weeks of banking advice.

At least we don’t hear “for the price of just a cup of coffee a day, you can feed a child…” Because now that would be $4.

It’s been a rough week. I am strong and I am several of the words in the image below. Several.

Love you guys. Be kind to yourself.

A few weeks ago I found the Instagram @thecriticallyhonest and instantly loved it. So many of us have invisible chronic diseases that we start to hate explaining. People feel like they need to say something nice to make us feel better, but once in a while, someone will say “at least you don’t have __________” or “it could be worse.”

I’ve never known what to say to that. “I’m sorry I’m not as afflicted as you’d like”? Maybe “would you like me to be worse or add another symptom?”

My illness isn’t any less valid than someone else’s. It’s a way of saying “don’t feel sorry for yourself” even when we’re just answering “how are you” with more than “fine.”

Have you ever seen a McDonald’s drive-thru completely closed WITH cones? Yeah, me neither.

What’s the cut off for saying “happy New Year”? January 7th or 10th right? I know we’re past that today, Ms. Smallmart lady.

If you know me, you know I’m all over the place. I am. Scattered. Yep. But I am the person Cleo Wade wrote about. If you’re close to me, if you’re my friend — you know exactly how much I love you. You never have to guess. And that love is big.

As usual, @keeleyshawart knows us!

Be. I set out for it to be a BE day and I needed all of that. I gave myself grace. We were going to celebrate my almost 21 year old’s birthday when she got car sick. So, instead, we went through the Culver’s drive-through. My middle child and husband weren’t thrilled about it. We said we’d do cake at 6. My husband and I ended up going to dinner and got back at 8:30 and my daughter didn’t want us to sing or take birthday pictures. I said that was ok, but we will do it on her birthday.

Tomorrow is going to be a Quiet day.