3.16/366: Thoughts on House Hunters

I usually have HGTV on during the day while I’m doing stuff (when I’m not watching true crime) and I’ve watched House Hunters forever, but I’ve noticed a trend. And I have thoughts.

When did Realtors become ”REAL-a-tors?” you can’t just throw an extra syllable up in there. This is not 14th century England.

Guy on House Hunters walked into a kitchen and said ”this is the island of my dreams!” it was a peninsula. Get it right, Sebastiann with two Ns.

Couple on Beachfront Bargain Hunt says ”you can fit a king size bed in here” in both bedrooms. No you can’t.

I’ve stayed in very condo on Beachfront Bargin Hunt. Except the one that had the washer/dryer combo with a toilet next to it.

The best episode of International House Hunters EVER was in Ireland. The buyer and her friend, looking at a house that was all cinderblock on the inside, no flooring, no plumbing roughed-in. The realtor says in EVERY room, “this could be a bedroom or an office or a bathroom.” The friend says “you could sit right there with a glass of wine, looking out the window and wondering what went wrong with your life.”

Half the women on House Hunters who go into a kitchen built before 2005 say it’s dated. Girl, change the countertops — BOOM — perfect kitchen.

Every buyer on Island Hunters complains that the tile (in Mexico) that is very of-the-area needs to be changed. You are in Mexico, don’t act like you’re expecting granite.

Stop asking if you can have a chicken coop.

Why does everyone say ”This would be a great area to entertain in?” I want one person to say ”This would be a great area for a sectional and coffee table for my laptop for most nights when I’m in my PJs by seven eating caramel corn out of the giant Christmas tin, watching Forensic Files and posting memes on Facebook.”

Every buyer on International House Hunters says ”There’s a washer, but no dryer/the closets are small/I wish the ceiling was higher/is this near City Centre?/oh, cobblestone.”

Beachfront Bargain Hunt’s buyers are always surprised one of the condos/homes isn’t ON the beach. Every episode.

I’ve said this before, but more and more, couples have $900,000 budget and the woman is a professional pre-school soccer coach and the man maintains the Croatian Olympic Luge team’s Twitter account. Or the man is wrist watch model and the woman names heirloom organic turkeys.