I’m live blogging a movie that has been out for a month. It’s a new low for the blog, a new high in boredom for me. The six year-old just asked me why there are so many humans in movies. That’s a new perspective. The previews are about to start. I think the hubs is already asleep.
7:35 – previews! One for the Goat Rodeo live with Yo Yo Ma. Not kidding.
– the screen said to silence cell phones. It didn’t say anything about blogging.
– 3 Stooges preview. Looks exactly as dumb as you would think.
– I can hear people chewing their popcorn. It is grossing me out.
– oh good, The Rock is in a new movie and he makes his pecs dance. That’s just not natural.
– finally, the movie.
– no, don’t mangle The Go-Gos. Is nothing sacred?
– who would take chipmunks on a cruise anyway?
– omg. Their cabin is 100 times bigger than our honeymoon cabin.
– for real – if chipmunks were on a dance floor they would be stepped on. Singing chipmunks or not.
– hell yeah, it’s a mutha fuggin’ dance off.
– if they make another sequel I hope someone gets rabies.
– first of all, the captain on a cruise ship is never American.
– So glad Tobias Funke is in this one.
– hey Jason Lee, remember when you made movies for adults?
– Alvin made a Sarah Palin joke. Not kidding.
– spoiler: chipmunks get shipwrecked
– they’re singing Kum bayah. No just no.
– and now Beyonce. That reminds me – has she had Babyonce yet?
– Charlie Sheen reference.
– Lord of the Rings reference.
– the chick kicked off SNL for saying the F word is stranded on the island too. Yay.
– Castaway reference. This is like a really bad Castaway for Kids.
– Not surprisingly, I identify with the chubby girl chipmunk. She just sprained her ankle.
– I need a beverage.
– Someone put me out of my misery. Please.
– double rainbow reference. What does it mean?!
– Omg. A honey badger. I can’t believe it.
– Hubs is asleep again. Kids are completely mesmerized.
– so far Tobias has said “chubby” 4 times. It’s getting old.
– I’m so thirsty. if only there were somewhere to get refreshments.
– They finally made a raft.
– oh no – active volcano.
– Indiana Jones visual gag.
– This is reminiscent of The Rescuers. SNL chick is now evil henchwoman. Lame.
– kid behind me just screamed “oh no!”
– GAWD, how long is this?
– no, not more GaGa.
Over.
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