food guide pyramid is dead

For those of you who didn't know, the government killed everyone's fave, the Food Guide Pyramid. It was replaced with this:

MyplateI like it — colorful, graphic, nice font. BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

“Parents don’t have the time to measure out exactly three ounces of chicken or to look up how much rice or broccoli is in a serving,” First lady Michelle Obama said today at the unveiling of the MyPlate campaign. So, we're supposed to more fruits and veggies.

Are we supposed to have dairy with every meal? Is macaroni and cheese a protein, grain, or dairy? Does the dairy have to be in a glass? Can it be a White Russian? Where is the dessert plate? And what size plate should we use? Can I use a charger plate? What about a platter? 

Mrs. Obama, please email me with these answers soon because I don't know what to eat for dinner. 

Updated:

There. I fixed it.

Kerry'splate

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