It's a pajama day for me. It was storming this morning and I went back to bed after getting the kids on their respective buses. I thought I'd bring you up to speed on the randomness that is my life.
Last night I realized I'd worn my bra inside out all day. If you're a woman (or a cross-dresser, there is no judging on the Kerry Blog) and you've ever put your bra on inside out, you know that you have to be Houdini to get it off.
My dog just scared herself and I laughed hysterically.
I think my dog is gaining weight. She ate a Christmas ornament this morning. I think she has an eating disorder.
Yesterday I changed my ringtone to "Christmas in Hollis" as I do every Christmastime.
One has to find fun where one can.
My 9 year-old calls Wheat Thins "Thin Wheats." Kids are weird.
Yesterday the little old man who always speaks to me at Target said he was disappointed to not see me on Black Friday because he knows I am a mystery shopper. I replied, "I'm a mystery alright."
I am not a mystery shopper. Everyone knows I shop. I'm practically a professional. For realz.
Professor Dr. Hillary (I like referring to her by her titles or Dr. Hilly or Hilljary) and I went to one of our favorite places, Casa Garcia (or Casa G if you're gangsta) and I'm not sure if we can go back. I'd told Hilljary that I'd seen an ad that said Casa G now had a lunch buffet, but we didn't see one. We went back and forth over asking our server if there was one because you never know, they could have it hidden somewhere. Hillary asked and our server said we must have seen the ad about catering. So, I asked if they could cater our lunch and set up a buffet because we'd like one of everything on the menu. I'm pretty sure she will never wait on us again.
I wouldn't blame her.
At Barnes and Noble, Dr. Hilly found one of those daily tear-off calendars of inspirational quotes and bought it for me because she knows I hate inspirational quotes.
FYI: if I read your inspirational quote status update on Facebook, I mentally gag.
I'm going to make an anti-inspirational quote calendar with things like "we're all going to die one day" and "Spanx wouldn't hurt, I'm just saying."
Now that I think about it, I may also write a self-help book or become a motivational speaker.
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